OBE - Day 12.. i thought it was Monday, LMAO!

man... i wake up thinking its monday, get ready for school. when i get on campus its all empty im like "damn people are still on spring break", and the building my class is in was closed so im like damn there is no school. and i find out classes start tuesday. then i get home and my folks tell me its Sunday hahahaha, damn.. i dont know whats happening with me.

but i been staying up, went to bed at 7 am last night. a few fucked up things happened. 1) i stayed up real late, started doing this at 6, 2) i didnt remember the last half session or what i was being told and have no clue where i was. either was in my head thinking about stuff or maybe somewhere else, i think its the first, and 3) not only did i feel like nothing happened but i broke out of the state i was in cuz i started hearing the same tape from the start only to realize i put my winamp on repeat, and the speakers were on!!!!!

i couldnt sleep for like 30 mins after that thinking if somebody in the house heard the tape being played. i was like damn i hope they didnt cuz i dont want them knowing what im doing every night.

but i can visualize the bubble around me more clearly. i make it a blue color and its glowing and shit, looks so purdy. after listening to these tapes i realized its all about visualizations. its not magic or anything like that, its all what you visualize and create in your mind. sort of like how people create these same invisible bubbles to protect themselves against psychic vampires. that stuff is real, you gotta really focus on visualizing or people can get in and suck on your energy or disrupt your energy field.

another thing im beginning to realize is that i stay up when im depressed. whether i have school or i dont, whether i smoke purple, or whether im playing video games. when im depressed i stay up all night even if there is nothing to do. i started doing that in high school, and part of it is cuz im a night person and love the night. night gives me some sort of energy or makes me feel alive or something, i dont know i cant explain it.