Sunday, April 27, 2014

Having a cold without Fever

I had a cold a few weeks back with a runny nose, fever, and it lasted about a week. So, this Tuesday I had this lymph node in my neck which scared the shit outta me. Turns out, I got sick again. My whole body was aching. I felt like shit, but it was weird as fuck cuz I could go to work, and my nose wasn't running. But my mucus was nasty and resembled the color when I am sick.

this is the weirdest experience I had being sick. I not only didn't have fever, but my nose wasn't running. And on top of that, I was sick a few weeks prior to this. Today was my first day better.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

X-Men Movies SUCK!!!!!!!

You know what I hate the most lately? When I go to a movie theater, and every fucking time before the movie they play the new XMen commercial. It's always emotional, futuristic, and CORNY AS FUCK!!!! I've seen Xmen 1, it sucked balls! I've seen Xmen 2, IT SUCKED ASS!!! after that I do not even want to see a fucking trailer of any xmen. but what do I get, all these corny ass Xmen commercials!! XMEN... FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Worst movies EVER! go the fuck away and take your emotional, corny, and childish scripts with you.

And every time someone brings Xmen movies up, like my supervisor at work, other people chime "ooooooo yeahhh. I am an X e too!" MAAAN STFU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK XMEN!!!!!!!!! XMEN MOVIES SUCK ASSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, April 14, 2014

Stark Raving Mad MOVIE REVIEW

This was actually a pretty good movie. Funny as hell, things just kept getting better and better with a twist after twist after twist. It seems like every movie I have seen with Seann William Scott, one of my all time favorite comedians,  is just FUNNYYYY. I mean common, this is the guy who birthed Stiflier FFS! He deserves respect! MUST SEE if you are a fan of Stifler! Stark Raving Mad is very unknown, yet very underrated. 4/5 Stars.

And just on the dl, you can watch this whole movie on yt if you know how to do the searching. You're welcome.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014


First of all, I would like to say.... FUCK SEAWORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot believe that I visited them in San Diego as a kid. You know what this documentary reminds me of? My job. A lot of people behind management don't give a fuck about anyone!!! Their only concern is to hit their quota and they could care less about 'the little people' aka us, the workers who directly deal with the customers. They make any change they want, and could care less what we think, or say. The same sort of thing is happening with these large greedy pieces of shit corporations that suck the life out of Killer Whales, or other animals across zoos, and circuses. And then they make excuses when one of these animals takes down a trainer.



Monday, April 7, 2014

Headache #3 2014

just documenting this for my own records. woke up at 6:40am with a cluster headaches. started going away 20 mins later at 7am. it's still pulsating, though. I been having real little sleep since I got sick and my nose always is stuffed. I feel like the mucus that drains causes this headache. I had mild headaches all day yesterday, and they got slightly worse at night. but this morning it fucked me up. I still feel it, but it goes on and off periodically. cluster headaches suck!!!

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Reincarnated with Snoop Lion MOVIE REVIEW

When I first heard about Snoop Dogg changing his name to Snoop Lion, my first reaction was to judge, as I'm sure most people out there thought the same. But then after viewing Reincarnated, I found a whole new respect for Snoop. I remember watching a short clip on youtube once, of a MTF Body builder. At first I thought it was a female body builder, as they all look manly and masculine, but then learned it was a transsexual. I don't remember her name, but at some point her quote appeared on screen, "life is all about transition." And that is the TRUTH!!! In order for an individual to evolve and grow, he must change into what he wants to become. And if going through a lot of hell, chaos, and negative experiences, then so be it. Many people stay stagnant and never change, but they are miserable inside wishing they had something more; or maybe they are just 'normal', and like being that way. But I am too far from being normal.

Snoop was talking to one of the Rastafarian, I think Bob Marley's brother. I don't remember; I was high as fuck watching Reincarnated. But Snoop then says "for the first time I actually feel like I have something to say. not like I never had nothing to say before. it's just this time it's more serious." Something to that effect. and I respect Snoop because he wants to rise outta that gangsta shit that he is just tired of rapping about. He no longer lives that lifestyle, and that sort of music poisons the minds of many young kids. He understands that now, and came to Jamaica to explore reggae and to have a new experience. I respect Snoop for doing that, and I don't even like reggae!

Some of the parts of the movie were funny, when Daz almost lost consciousness when he got high as fuck on the mountain. And snoop sitting in a car talking about "the weed here is organic, from the ground, natural, no THC. You find the right buds, they'll get you high as fuck." Snoop must have been high as a motha fucker cuz the weed "naturally" has THC in it. LMAO!!!

One Rastafarian said in the movie "the herb has a healing factor for both the mind and the body." And actually the Shamans in the Amazon say the same exact thing about ayahuasca, and use the brew in their spiritual hallucinogenic rituals. It's really interesting how various cultures all across the world use plants in healing ceremonies. Yet the government makes these healing plants illegal.

I really enjoyed this documentary. Much respect to Snoop for growing, evolving, and most importantly, CHANGING! 4/5 stars.

And now I leave you with my favorite song from Snoop Lion's album... Remedy

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Friends that Treat you like Shit

I just feel like talking about this right now, and I'm not sure if anyone could relate.

So, I had this one co-worker that I hung out with once or twice. But the thing is, I am one of those loners that doesn't embrace life and lives it with passion because well... I have no friends. So, when a friend comes into my life it is really a rare moment. Another reason is because I have PTSD. the fucked up thing about this is, I can't tell anyone any of these things because well... they'll think I'm a desperate loser who is dying for friendship with somebody, or anybody. I actually told this co-worker about my PTSD, and he just thought I'm too negative. So much for opening up to people...

Another thing about me is, I wasn't born here in the U.S.. I came here when I was 12, almost 13, at an age where you passed the point of having an easy integrating process into a new culture. And as a result of this, I have felt disconnected from most people in America. It is the most loneliest, and coldest place you could experience. I got no support from anyone other than my family, that is shrinking as time passes by. I feel all alone, with no one there to get my back or even call me up on the phone to shoot the shit.

So, back to my 'friend'. We were cool and actually were having fun at work while working retail. As a result, one time this lady customer actually thought we were really close saying "that's yo boy!" And I was thinking 'if only that was true'. So, basically this guy is and always was really distant. He has this other friend and from the looks of things they are best friends. I'm like cool, whatever. But then I feel like when I try to reach out and extend my friendship, he doesn't give a FUCK, and acts distant. So, whenever HE feels like reaching out and invite me into his world to hang out, I jump up on my back legs like a puppy screaming YES YES YES OF COURSE I'D LOVE TO! So, one day I said I'll be as distant to him as he is to me. No homo and all, this isn't anything gay related. So, I copied him and didn't return his phone call the same day. The next day at work he was sort of fucked up. Like I made him feel bad or something. I was like... okay. whatever. I don't give a fuck, like you don't give a fuck. I never really felt close to him, but was just tired to be at his disposal whenever he felt like getting a hold of me. So, then what he did the next time I saw him was tell me that 'I deleted you from my phone. You didn't call me back and I take that shit real personal'. That REALLY fucked me up. What made it worse is, I already feel disconnected from nearly everyone in this strange land, of which many natives treat me like an outsider on sight. But he made me feel even more disconnected than I already am. It's sort of like... I have tiny little bit of connection with someone out there. And then that person cuts it by coming up to me and telling me "no, sorry. we don't have no connection. fuck off".

and you know... me seeing this dude and his best friend getting together at work and just shooting the shit for what seemed eternity. It seemed like if they had 3 hours to spend with each other, they'd never run out of things to say, or fun to have. Me seeing that connection between 2 human beings fucked me up even more. What's even worse is that later on this dude asked me to go out with him and he calls me up about the logistics. I was like WTF!?!?! I thought you deleted me from your phone? He goes 'I just said that to make you feel bad'.

This is the same dude who didn't even wanna accept my facebook friend's request. And then when he jump started his business he was quick to add me because now he needs people to "like" his shit, like I'm stupid or something. And when he'd see me in public, like taking a bus, and he is going to some bar he's meeting with friends, he'd invite me. But were I never to see him, he'd never call me or text me to invite me for shit. Is this what you call a friend?

what really makes me mad even more with people like this dude is how he complains about things in his life. He is not from California, so he complains that he doesn't have a social circle here and no close friends; complains about how much he hates his job. Complains, complains, complains. But he got a best friend, he got his own place, he got a good paying job, he got independence, he got a father that raised him right, he got a brother, and I think even a sister. He got all these friends from back home and TONS of support and LOVE from so many people, that he takes it all for granted. I guess it's true what they say about being human. No matter how much you accomplish in life, you'll always want more. and the thing that makes me mad is, I can't tell him about me. I can't complain to him about not having friends. He is already distant as fuck, and when I used to hang around him it felt like 'wow, we are hanging out? this isn't the every day thing. I should cherish this moment.' I can't tell him how lonely I AM. Social circle?!?!?! I don't even have one friend who is there for me. STFU about bitching about not having a social circle, dude. I wanna slap you thinking about how lonely my life is, while you complain about yours with all this amazing support from all the people who would do anything for you. And all I got is my mom, who I completely don't see eye to eye with. But hey, I am glad I have her. At least SOMEONE in this lonely world cares about me, and my existence.

But yeah, I keep thinking about this guy a lot. People like him in general, make me really angry. They have excitement for life, and exploring it. They are excited to go to a show, excited to go to a club. And I am scared of it all. Scared to leave my house worrying about stupid shit that probably will never happen. People like him come from families that raised them right. And at the end, find things to complain and bitch about. I even saw him a few months back. He told me, 'you still got my #? hit me up'. I was like, yeah okay. But I deleted him from my phone. Wtf I need someone in my life for that keeps me at a distance and treats me like a little kid. I may not have matured in life as other men who are my age, but seems like that is exactly the reason guys who are even younger than me don't want to hang out with me. And all because "you get on my nerves sometimes".

I even remember asking if he wanna go to lunch. He was like yeah, cool. We go get a subway sandwich and he is totally aloof. Gets on his phone and starts calling places to rent. I was like damn... I guess I'm not even here. Now, if you made it this far reading my rant, let me ask you something. Is this what you call a friend? Because I don't think it is. My best description of someone like this is a buddy. Someone you kick it with every now and then, but you'll probably never see them again.

So, that's my rant. I really wanted to get that off my chest. I just feel like no one knows me, or even if they do, they don't get me because I am so different. So, they keep their distance. And as a result, I can't be honest with them and tell them things about me that are personal. And even more fucked up thing is, many people I meet judge me straight away and put me in a box. I don't know maybe it's because I am pale, skinny, look 'different', or like I am not of this land and not a native. And they can see that. Whatever the reason is, it is ignorance. Because I don't know what else to call it. One of the most valuable lessons I learned in life is, never judge a book by its cover. I just wish sometimes other people would get this too.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

I am sick, & Date 2 sucked

so I txt the girl to meet again, and we ended up watching a drive in movie-my first time ever. right off the bat, things went south. I made a huge mistake, and did not tell her I had a soar throat. She started acting moody and weird, and the whole time she was like that. She was freaked out that I didn't tell her and that she may get sick also. Later I find out she has issues, and the good thing about this date is that I would've never knew her issues if I didn't show up being almost sick.

She txt me saying she overreacted, and feels fine. But I am SICK now. Had to take PTO from work, and nose been running all night. I barely slept, and had a huge fever the whole night after the date. I thought I was gonna die; my heart pumping so fast. Now it's the next day and I'm better with no fever but my nose is still running. I think Advil helped to get rid of the fever, but I hope I can work tomorrow.


Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Sizetrac Penis Enlargement Extender

WTF? I've heard of jelqing but this is something new...

I want to see Avatar in 3D!

You know, one of the things I really regret is that I haven't seen Avatar in 3D when it was out in theaters. It is by far one of the greatest movies I have ever seen. I said it before, and I'll say it again. Avatar was basically a movie about indigenous peoples across Americas, and the oppressors who wanted the rocks were Europeans. This is why Avatar was so powerful to me. It's the truth about some of our history.

Who knows, maybe in 10 years if technology sky rockets and everyone will have a 3D Theater TV they'll be a next 2 gen blu-ray digital player with an instant download of a movie or video game. When that day comes, I WILL watch Avatar in 3D and hopefully all its sequels to come!

Avatar, I Love You! You are the greatest and most amazing movie that dives deep into the human imagination, and many worlds that exist in this Universe.