Saturday, December 25, 2010

exactly how I feel right now...

about my "elite" rich family... i sit there telling them all the drama, and craziness of my life, and they not only avoid listening to me.. they are almost scared of me, and my depth. they will never know nor understand the shit people go through sitting on top of all that money. even if someone tells them, they dont care, or avoid hearing it altogether.

i will always represent the poor, the unfortunate, the ones without shit or with something they really had to work their ass for. those are my peoples... my REAL family..

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

asked my cousin for help...

yeah so like.. the rich cousin i have... i called her yesterday said i felt like i was about to die and need help.. a place to stay.. etc..

was in their house today. they live in the hills.

man.. it was disheartening. the second i stepped into their house i felt bad vibes. my uncle was looking at me like "what he wants?" and then it went down from there. i was talking and telling them my story but.. they werent even listening half the time. asking each other what food they want, talking to their dog, doing other shit half the time while im talking.. i didnt even want to keep on saying stuff. it was just.. odd... felt like they were uncomfortable. then my uncle was like "you ever thought of going to your dads?" i was like i dont talk to him, we dont have a relationship... 15 mins of him telling me how good my father is and we should get together and do stuff.. argh... then my cousin was walking around and doing stuff. both cousin-male and female went to smoke outside. male cousin went to living room to watch Jeopardy.. aarghh... its like he didnt give a fuck. i went there watching that shit he was like "i love jeopardy" guessing answers. female cousin guessing answers...

then my male cousin just left. no "alright man, gl with your situation", no "alright man, later" or "give me a call if you need any help". he just fucking left. went to his friend or some shit.. without saying a word.

i almost left till they convinced me to stay for tea. i stayed for tea and my 2nd time telling them i sleep in my car for 2 weeks.. they actually heard me this time "YOU SLEEP IN YOUR CAR?" yes!! for 2 weeks!! jesus christ, i felt like i was in a movie with strangers or something. i felt odd as hell when i went to the bathroom. like.. wow.. .this is my fam...

uncle's wife told me she could help me to pass around resume and stuff. i really believe herd her. everyone else were like meh... in their own world and shit. even her actually.

it was hard as shit to ask for help. i did it, and it turned out to be almost pointless. i didnt even want to ask them to stay over with these vibes. i asked my cousin on the phone, but didnt wanna ask them in the house. uncle offered me to come stay with them when i said i sleep in a car.

whatever.. off i go. gotta drive and sleep somewhere. i am really sleepy and hopefully those pain pills will knock me out tonight.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

sleep in my car and root canal

I'm going out like a G!!! garlic pills 3x per day to fight the immune system, and i now SLEEP IN MY CAR! yes... i drive to the nearest rich neighborhood, park, and sleep there. works about half the time, cuz a car is not exactly the most comfortable place to sleep in. lunar eclipse last night but the sky is foggy and rainy. doesnt matter anyway, its the last thing i care about right now.. sadly

came back from doing a root canal and my tooth hurts like hell. but i am not settling for ghetto ass dentists no more. my mom will help me with bills.


Friday, December 10, 2010

I may die tonight

im not even joking or anything like that. i may die tonight or possibly this weekend.

i feel really bad. i mean REALLY REALLY BAD. i can hardly inhale all the way cuz it hurts. my heart area hurts. i fell asleep at 12:30ish and woke up at 4am. could not sleep after that. took 2 melatonins, 1 before bed and one when woke up. didnt work for shit. i felt like shit the whole day. i never felt this bad before. so if i die then nice knowing all my haters and fans and all that other stuff.

just make sure when you come to LA make sure you got money, stability (real job), or family support. otherwise youll be looking to save rent and live in shitty places where noise and moving energy does not stop until it kills you, literally. but maybe thats just my story.

driving home i saw SSS on lincense plate, and then SS on another. let me look that up real quick..... blah cant find anything. who cares anyway.

i was actually lookin gforward to living through 2012. may not happen. some night when i try to sleep i have this CRAZY RUSH like wtf!?!?!!??! I GET UP ALL SCARED AS HELL. whatever it is, it is not good. and it happened at lunch when i was 'trying' to sleep. never works though.

la is a city of toxic waste and noise. unless you rich, stay away from this shit hole


Sunday, December 5, 2010



I never thought id say this but San Francisco>LA

I can't sleep
couldnt sleep since i moved here
from living with potheads with a baby (2x) to LOUD ASS ROOMMATES/NEIGHBORS
so im like 'today im going to bed at 10pm.. right? WRONG!
neighbor blasting tv
i knock on his door like yo man plz turn it down. he has like this 'wtf man?' look on his face as always but like ok
cant sleep
the other faggot ass neighbor starts coughing.. AGAIN.. cant sleep
im thinking BITCH I HOPE YOU DIE
truth is it doesnt matter if he coughs
he hasnt been coughing for like 95% since i talked to him and I STILL CANNOT SLEEP

my teeth are fucked up since april of this year. 1 i have to do a root canal, and the others i will redo the fillings. ALL 4 OF THEM NEED REPAIRING.. and i gotta say this right here... FUCK WHITE FILLINGS!!!!!!! THEY ARE PIECES OF COSMETIC SHITS!!!!!!!! FUCK THEM TO HELL!!!!!!!!

i am looking for good dentists that do silver fillings and replacing all 3 while the 4th is gonna cost a shit load of money for root cannal my moms will have to help me with.

my hands are fucked up. bones on top of them and a bone on top of my wrist cuz of the faggots abusing me at work. the stupid slut is scared that i will sue the company. THAT IS ALL SHE CARES ABOUT !!!!! not my hands or how i am donig, but hopefully i wont sue them. WHAT TYPE OF PLACE IS THIS?? WHAT TYPE OF FUCKKING CITY IS THIS???? FUCKING COWORKERS TREAT ME LIKE IM A FUCKING ALIEN FROM OUT OF SPACE!

i fucking hate this place man. hate it.

it has been nothing but hell since i moved here back in july 2009. i cant sleep for 1.5 years, my heart area hurts, i am concerned for my health. AND THE FUCKING WHITE FILLINGS I CANNOT SLEEP AS A RESULT OF THEM AS WELL!!!

let me say this. white fillings are pieces of shits because THEY ARE NOT THE REAL TEETH!!!!!!!!!!! FUCKING COSMETIC PIECES OF SHITS ARE NOT THE REAL TEETH!!!!!!!!!!!! SO HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU GONNA TELL ME THEY SHOULD BE PART OF MY MOUTH!??!! FUCK YOU DENTISTS YOU DONT KNOW SHIT!!!!!! i sleep on my stomach, and ever since i got white filllings my teeth GRIND EVERY FUCKING NIGHT WHEN I CLOSE MY MOUTH! i cannot keep my mouth closed and shut in the same place. TEETH START TO GRIND AGAINST EACH OTHER THE SECOND I CLOSE IT!!!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!! IMPOSSIBLE TO SLEEP. LAYING ON MY BACK IT TAKES ME LONG TIME TO FALL ASLEEP. and when my heart is beating fast, and chest hurts its even harder to sleep.

L.A. FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU HAVE THE MOST TOXIC ENERGY WITH THE MOST TOXIC PEOPLE. IF NOT THAT THEN A BUNCH OF FAKE ASS PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!! CO-WORKERS WALKING AROUND SMILING IN MY FACE BUT WILL STAB ME IN MY BACK TYPE OF SHITS. hi and bye are the only 2 words one faggot ever says to me. the other cool guy that actually was like me started to act weird after hanging out with thta faggot. and now he let the gossip get to him, whatever the fake fag told him about me, and now i dont even respect him, a cool guy like me. why should i? he starts to act weird out of nowheere for no reason. THIS IS LA@!!!!!!! FUCK THIS PLACE MAN!!!!!

i have been looking for a place outside of the city in a house like a room. but its hard as shit cuz places are mostly within a city and not as much outside where its quiet in nice houses. fuck my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i had 8 or 9 hours of sleep Friday night i almost shit bricks in the morning. that was like the first good night sleep in 1 or 2 months!!!!!!! and even then I WOKE UP LIKE 10 TIMES!!!!!!!!!!!!! only slept cuz didnt have to wake up to work otherwise it would be another 5 hours.

i have been praying damn near EVERY NIGHT, and i feel like i am some rat in some lab with my fridge popping, turn that shit off ever night. loud koncks in the ceiling/walls. cant do shit about that/wear ear plugs. neighbords loud. mexican RUDE ASS PEOPLE HONKING THE HORN EVERY FUCKING DAY!!!!!!!!!! LOUD DOGS BARKING ALL DAY!!!!!!!!! FUCK THIS CITY TO HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHH I JUST WANNA FUCKING SCREAM SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE IM GOING INSANE IN THIS PLACE!

i feel like everyone forgot about me in this and other words, and im left all alone. family dont give a shit about me. one side they are rich 'elite' faggots, the other a bunch of criminals.

i have no fucking friends and no one to turn to. i swear to GOD i will be playing WoW again cuz i got nothing else to do in this shit!!!!!!!! I CANT EVEN GET A GOOD NIGHT SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!??!!?!?!!?!!?!?!?!?!!?!?!

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Moon Landing A Fake or Fact

I am obsessed with truth. I always want to get at the bottom of things. And when things look like they're bullshit, I almost can't sleep at night. The moon landing looks like one of those things. If you google it, there is so much evidence that it's fake that you would spend your entire day reading it. It really is mind boggling. Here is another documentary that talks about it.

I have met so many bullshitters in this country, that I would not be surprised if the US government did this to be "the first on the Moon." There is many businesses today that is built around this "bullshit", which are filled with scams, lies, and who knows what else.

Fuck you NASA! and fuck the bullshit!

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Sunday, November 7, 2010

so I talked to my neighbor... again!!

11:30pm, I'm going to sleep. im tossing, turning like "WTF!? why its so quiet?" couldnt sleep as a result. im not used to quiet. im used to chaos, clicking, knocking sounds on my ceiling, neighbor coughing. 12ish comes by "cough"... argghhhhhh FUCK!!!!!!!

12:30 COUGHHHHHHHHH!!!!! 12:40, etc etc etc... wholy shit im like i gotta talk to him. im looking for a place but my heart feels bad, i got enough problems in my life, and i cant even sleep and give my body rest.

its like 2am (actually 1 but they changed the clock tonight so ya), and this fucker is coughing. im like WTF!?!? i went to bed last night at 4am as a result of this fuck coughing. believe that shit.

so i knock on his door on some "why are you coughing every night?" he goes... "i caught a cold" rofllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllmaooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im like YOU CAUGHT A COLD?? FOR 3 MONTHS????????????????????? hes like uhh... *silence* ... (okay this fuck just coughed again. guess im not sleeping tonight). i find out he doesnt smoke pot, but sigs instead. every fucking night and im like dude if you wanna kill yourself, go ahead. but you killing me. i dont sleep, my heart feels funny, and you keep me up every night, i gotta wake up at 7am and get less sleep on the weekends!!!!!!!!!! hes like ohhhh sorry about that blah blah blah..

so i dont know where it will go. i told his ass dont worry im moving already looking for a place but i dont know what else to do. should i not bump my music loud when he keeps me up since i talked to him? i blasted that video i posted at 11am real loud 3x in a row this morning. and he sleeps in and shit. so i was like bitch you keep me up till 4am you not sleeping in so fuck ya! anyway, more to come i guess. if im still alive and all.

Monday, November 1, 2010

I'm going to WAR with my neighbor

Last night OMFG he was caughing until 2 in the morning! MOTHA FUCKER THIS IS WAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I woke up at 8am let my alarm ring for 2mins right next to the fucking wall he sleeps next to. Then blasted music till I left. 2 CAN PLAY THAT GAME BITCH! I talk to the manager, she talked to you (already talked to yo bitch ass about other issues and ty for not being a faggot about them, but this caughing has got to go AND IM TIRED OF SEEING YOUR FACE ASKING YOU FOR SHIT), AND YOU STILL SMOKE ALL NIGHT AND COUGH!!!!!!!????????? FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ill be blasting music all day and all morning when I wake up and make this cunt suffer. Give him a taste of his own medicine see how he likes that.

This will go on until I find a place BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITHC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!@#$ku@()!&*$)!@#&*$)(!@&*($

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Meditation vision

I had 4 hours last night and had a vision when meditating in the morning. I usually have visions and see things in meditations when i sleep very little (NOT A GOOD THING cuz i hate the feeling and dont even meditate when i dont sleep).

But my vision went like this.. I saw a state of California. Then it started to shrink and shrink, and then I think I heard "this what will happen to California".

Then my brain started to just talk to itself.. i think "what can you say to those people who dont believe and need facts?" then this face of a man that's kinda squarish but more rectangle from up to top or something said "well.. there is nothing i can do if they need facts to believe in things i cannot prove to them". ARGHHH I REALLY HATE NOT SLEEPING! last time when I was meditating without sleep I was walking through this room, and all the people around me were asleep (not literally, but in a sense they dont realize they are alive and are here on planet Earth), and I was the only one awake in that room.

hopefully I get some sleep tonight. its 1:13am already.

im off to bed.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

the Biggest Crystals in the World

check this out. crazy!!!

more proof that Moon landing never happened

after reading this it is obvious we never landed on the moon.

it took them 40 years to find out there is ice on the moon with us allegedly being there dozens of times, yet it takes a friggin rocket to find out about frozen water? FUCK YOU NASA! you may fool all these other people, but you not fooling me.

if moon landing was real, there would be 1) STARS WHEN YOU LOOK AT THE PICS TAKEN (DUUUUUUUUUUUH), 2) entire moon exploration on foot (exactly what i would do, explore the moon in its entirety! and find the ice in like a few years, or possibly sooner.)

don't let the government dictate to you what is real and what is not. if moon landing was real, it would be occupied with all sorts of shit like satellite equipment, there would be trips to the moon by Russia/Soviet Union, but to this day they stay away from the moon as far as possible. reason? radiation that will fry your nuts within split seconds through that pathetic spacesuit.

that is all.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

this kid is a Genius

His second album is out (first one is classic). If you're gonna buy it, get it from amazon. FUCK ITUNES!!!

Monday, October 18, 2010

The Day Before Disclosure - UFO Movie in HQ

great movie, especially the 3rd part where they have people describe being abducted, human/alien hybrids, recovering objects in human bodies planted by aliens, and the 1 thing that connects us all. watch it for FREE! WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW!!!

Friday, October 15, 2010

333, 444, 555

Today is another crazy ass day with numerology on my cell. at 3pm I saw 3:33, at 4pm 4:44, and at 5 pm 5:55.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Job Fair...

was bullshit. just a bunch of colleges, and other jobs from LAPD, LAFD, Securities, constructions, telemarketing, etc etc..

when I left one FINE ASS BLONDE approached me with a sample of smoothie out of nowhere. I was like W...T....F!?!?! she was like out of a movie. perfect face, perfect smile, perfect eyes, perfect hair, perfect body, and to top it off she was super nice. I told her I just want some cash back cuz I wasn't sure if they take credit card at the hotel parking lot. she went talk to the cashier and then came back standing next to me. Looking into her eyes was surreal.. I was like... WHY IS SHE STANDING NEXT TO ME? WOMEN TREAT ME LIKE SHIT WHY IS SHE STILL HERE!?! she asked me where I'm from and turns out she was from Ohio. damn when I meet girls like this from down south I'm like "wow!"... cuz from what I hear people here in LA are phony as fuck! they most likely lie about themselves, drive expensive cars, but have nothing in their bank account. it's all for the show and for impressing everyone around them. this right here was the highlight of my day. if it wasn't for this girl the entire day would have sucked. she couldn't have been more then 21 or 23 at most.


I saw 3:33 again on my phone when I was heading home.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

111, 222, 333

today, 10/12/2010, I had the craziest numerology appear to me on my cell phone.

at 1pm I saw 1:11, at 2pm I saw 2:22, and at 3pm I saw 3:33. I did not look at the time on purpose, but just at random times.

Just wanted to blog this to keep a record of it.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

was just thinking about joining adultfriendfinder...

and found this

I'm 31 and never had sex. He is 40.. dang!!

but yeah sometimes I think about that a lot. Like... I need to get off my ass and go out to meet new people. but i'm socially awkward and am real scared of humans. the fear mostly comes from bad experiences with them, but I was also told it's from my past life regression. Whatever it is, i'm thinking of joining and paying for these sex sites but then i'm like... i dont wanna fuck swingers and sluts, but that could be the only thing that could bring me. so i'm still like... i dont know... are there people on there who actually want a relationship? this sucks cuz i already have enough issues with my environment, looking for places cuz i wanna move asap!!

Friday, October 8, 2010

10/10/10 is this Sunday

I'm thinking of meditating 2 hours straight. I don't know how long yet, but it will be longer than usual.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

R.I.P. World of Warcraft

just wanted to post this. the death of PvP, and the death of fun in this game completely turn me off from it now. farming honor, arena, and a billion other tokens is a giant waste of life! you farm and grind for 6 months, and then Blizzard goes "hey, guess what? it really doesn't matter cuz the new season is here. so now you'll have to do it all over again". people looking towards Cataclysm thinking it will be any different are fooling themselves.

Goodbye World of Warcraft (Blizzard should seriously die. this post is strictly for the love of this game I once had, not the new Blizzavision company that is running it.), you were once fun back in the day.

Wowcrack days was when I experienced this sort of PvP.. just like on retail back before Battlegrounds, and Arena, we too had no BGs cuz 99% of people wouldn't queue for them, and no Arena until waaaaay at the end.

PvP spots for us were BT entrance, SWP entrance (ooohh the wars we unleashed on that island), Hyjal entrance, Gadget in Tanaris, how I miss all of you. Coming to clear all the Horde, only to have them gather up somewhere near by and come take it back over. Going back and forth.

Goodbye WoW... you will be missed.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Today I'm 31

I do feel like I just hit 21 or so as far as my life experiences, or lack of.

I took the day off today, talked to my employment agent for future opportunities, got me some snickers, white ts, and goodies from whole foods. I got me some expensive organic stuff. gotta treat myself once in a while.


Sunday, September 26, 2010

Will I always be alone?

I can't sleep... again... even thought I had 3 consecutive nights of sleep, and was just thinking about quitting my job. In this messed up economy I wanna quit my job. Can you believe that? They use me, abuse me.. I'm the "data entry guy". We got people who came there months after me and they already doing some advanced stuff, when I am the copy/paste guy. I understand I'm the fastest with typing but.. WTF!?!?!

but the point of this blog is... I got no girl, no friends, and not even a soul to call to and be like... "yo... my day went like this.. this that and the other happened... what about you?" not even a miserable fuck like myself to call. Jesus Christ, what will happen to me? Will I die alone?

I have had worst luck with things ever since I moved to LA. My health is going down hill. As a result of my job and doing data entry 8 hours a day, and I mean INTENSE data entry. They want things done quick and I am the guy for the job, I have a bone that grew on my wrist, my hands hurt on top and I feel bad in my bones. I turn 31 in a few days, so will I have fucked up hands with arthritis by the time I'm 35???

Moving sucks.. really badly. It is by far the hardest thing I ever done in life.. one of anyway. Not the moving itself, but finding a place. I haven't really taken it seriously cuz I am using tools provided by this Shaman I saw and see if things get better which they have a lil, but she never even called me back. I hope she is busy and not just leaving me hanging like every other person in my life.

You know.. I have come far. Being negative to being positive, and accepting myself maybe not 100% fully but more than I ever had. But I am still in a rut and it is HARD AS HELL to get out of it. It's like being in a ghetto. It takes an ENORMOUS amount of will power, and intensity to get out when every single force in the Universe is doing everything to keep you there.

I don't even use my PC most of the time at home. I want my hands rested cuz they hurt. 2 of my teeth are fucked up cuz this dentist screwed me up. I can't chew on them and couldn't since like March. Already spent 1g on fixing teeth, now I probably will have to spend more than that getting them repaired. ahh.. there goes my savings money I saved up. if I listed all my problems... I wouldn't even want to actually. too much stuff going on, and not a soul to tell about it. Mom pops lives right here in same city, and he doesn't even know what is going on with me. Fuck my life. BUT.... I will think positive and look for solutions to fix all this craziness. I have to, or things will get even worse.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Just as I thought

so I sneaked in last night to that 'potential' apartment I was thinking of moving. at first it was kinda quiet, that I got nervous on some 'this is weird.. it's too quiet for me. will it always be like this?' then i thought "bring the noise" kinda jokingly. then eventually fell asleep on the floor at 1:30amsh... time goes by.... 3:30am......... BAAAAAH WWAAAAAH *LOUD NOISE COMING FROM THE WALL* what do you know... it's the neighbors watching their tv. 3:30 in the morning. LOUD AS FIZUK. so loud I thought to myself "i better put my earplugs on". Then the second later I realized they were on, lol...

I was like okay... technically I am not here so I can't do nothing. 10 mins.. 20 mins.. same thing... I started banging on the wall at the bottom to make it look like im banging from the floor below. nothing... did it again.. they bang back... then like 10 mins later people started hitting their ceiling from below. over and over and over... i was like wow... this is life...

the second this happened i was like.... wow.... is there no decent human beings in this apartment complex? these are an OLD.. keyword... 'old' Korean couple. They wouldn't even open their door for me when i wanted to talk to them that day earlier about if there is any noise in the area. "who is this?" "what you want?"... so eventually someone started to BANG on their door and they cut the tv off. from 3 to 4 am they wouldnt budge. probably watching their show.

i dont know what im gonna do.. i really dont know. my only options are going there tonight if this neighbor of mine won't let me sleep and do test #2. if that doesnt work start looking for a place ASAP, and i already have last night a little bit. get a lawyer to write a letter to break the lease.


Tuesday, September 21, 2010

I am outta Here!!!

So this past Saturday I saw a Shaman, and told her all my problems beneath my problems. She did the auric cleansing, and then told me to check back with her next week. From all the research I've been doing on all the Shamans, she was the only one who actually wanted to give me tools so I can use to help myself further. Others are just overpriced and they leave you hanging after-wards. Anyway, last night I had 3 hours of sleep because of this PIECE OF SHIT NEIGHBOR!!! OMFFFFFFFFGGGGGGG, he smokes cigarettes and COUGHS all fucking night!!! And as hard as it is for me to fall asleep, once I awoke last night I just knew that IM OUTTA HERE!!!!! Yes, I have a lease that is like for 5 more months, and yes there are clicking noises that are loud as hell. I looked them up and it seems like the way this cheap ass building was built. They are the nails popping on the roof, and I am on the highest floor. Quiet a few other people had these problems. It can be quiet scary, even with me wearing earplugs it gets extremely loud. I saw another place in this apartment complex but it's most likely the same. I will sleep there tomorrow and see how it goes (left it unlocked). So, if that doesn't work out, which it won't, I will have a lawyer write a letter to the manager to get me outta this lease.

It's 4am right now and this PIECE OF SHIT woke me up... AGAIN!!! Arghh I hate this cunt. I wish he would disappear form the face of the earth.

But last week I was seeing weird #s. Like I would see the # of my building, and then "For Rent" signs 3 or 4 times in a row. I was like "is that my guides trying to tell me to move"? Then after I said I'm moving last night I had 222 appear to me at work twice. I googled it and it said that it means that whatever thoughts you have, you are on the right path. And that it is my angels and/or guides communicating with me, or something I forget. Now I woke up just now, I went to the bathroom, come back and check the clock.... 333. Now as I am typing this blog and look at the clock at the bottom... 444 am.

I've been seeing a lot of these #s withing the last 6 months or so... 111, 222, 333, 444, 555, 777.. the other types too but not as frequent.

All I know is that I AM OUTTA HERE!!! I don't care what it takes. I will start looking tomorrow in north of L.A.. Hopefully close to nature, and I don't care if it's with roommates. I live in my own place and I feel like I'm living with roommates. I need to be around people with 9 to 5s that are quiet and respectful. Someone who understands my need for peace, and quiet when it's time to sleep. I got about 5 hours of sleep and I really hope I'm gonna sleep some more. My heart feels funny, and I'm really concerned for my health. How long will my body take this abuse until it gives out on me?

I took this abuse for 4 and a half months, and in my last place it was for 3 months before I made 100% decision to move. I am sick and tired of sacrificing myself and stay passive. HELL TO THE NO!!! I gotta take care of myself, because if I don't then who will? No one gives a crap.

So, yeah.. it's 5am now and I'll try to get some sleep...

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Lucid Dreaming

Okay, so I wasn't going to post this but I promised myself that if I have my 3rd lucid dream I will make a post. So here it is.

Lucid dreaming has got to be one of the funnest things you could do in your life outside of your every day reality. A lucid dream is basically you 'waking up' in a dream you are having. Ever since I started recording my dreams in a journal, I noticed that my dreams are miles upon miles away. It's as if I am so far away from my body that I don't even realize where I am and what I am doing. That's beside the fact that I don't even realize that I'm dreaming, which is the most important part about most of our dreams; we do not know we are dreaming until we wake up.

I haven't wrote down anything in my dream journal in the last few weeks for reasons I will not state, but my very first Lucid Dream happened exactly 15 days after doing the exercises and keeping track of all my dreams in my journal. The 2nd lucid dream happened 21 days after that, and the 3rd was this Saturday (now that I think about it, it happened on 9/11 around 3am pacific time). I wasn't trying to lucid dream for months now, but it just happened.

What you need to do to start inducing lucid dreaming:

1) Dream journal to write all your dreams in every morning/night you wake up. I would highly suggest writing them down the second you wake up. But if you have a really hard time going back to sleep like me, then record them when you wake up in the morning.

2) Doing reality checks "am I dreaming?" > look at the back of your hands (videos below)

3) Telling yourself "I will induce a lucid dream", "I will have the most vivid lucid dream tonight", or anything of that nature. Create your own affirmation, and say it out loud before going to bed.

Watch these videos. They are very helpful

Ironically, this last lucid dream I had was after watching this video

I have also heard that if you meditate for prolong periods of time (1, 2, 3 years), you will start naturally to lucid dream. So, meditation could also improve your chances on inducing lucid dreams.

I'm not trying to lucid dream at the moment. The last just happened I don't know why exactly. And it was cool as hell! I was lucid for about 5 seconds before waking up, lol.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Crystals! :)

I have been dealing with a lot of issues within the last year, from which I could not even deal with my REAL issues. I have had trouble sleeping nearly every night. This all came from staying at my cousin's place. Her environment was so negative, and so toxic, that my auric field has absorbed a lot of crap. I had to sleep with ear plugs, and sleeping pills every night to get some sleep in my current place, and even then it wouldn't work most times.

I have been fascinated with crystals for about 5 months now. And I've been putting it off because I have some other books I am interested in reading. Then after listening to Bashar and hear him say that the more steps you put up for yourself, the longer it will take you to get from point A to point B. Get this book first, read it, learn it, study it, after that get another book, read it, study it, then go out and buy crystals. I just skipped all these steps and got to a Crystal Shop. I got the following 6 crystals

About 2 weeks go by, and the noise and chaos in my apartment has calmed down by about 60%. And let me tell you something... I CAN SLEEP NOW!!!! Yes, that's right. I have been so scared for my health. I can hear my heart pump, and nearly every night I would get 3 to 5 hours of sleep, or some nights no sleep at all. I'd wake up not being able to fall back asleep. This has been ongoing for 1 year. But things changed completely. I haven't taken sleeping pills for almost a week.
I just got back from the Crystal shop, and got many other stones, but here are my very first crystals.

Black Tourmaline aka Schorl - this is a very POWERFUL crystal. I sleep with it every night. When I wake up, I can fall right back to sleep. I put it between my 3rd and my 5th eye, and it is like a psychic shield. I carry the natural form with me, and sleep with the melted one. Black tourmaline is one of the most powerful stones for psychic protection. It transmutes negative energy, or whatever comes and tries to attack you psychically, and throws it right back.

Citrine - this is a good stone for lots of various of reasons I won't go into. But protection is one of them. I read that it helps with stage fright, and a lot of other things that I need this stone for.

Citrine (Natural form from Africa) - I couldn't resist buying this. It looks so pure and beautiful.

Cornelian - I bought this for my 2nd Chakra, because I feel that it is damaged. I've been meditating holding this stone over my sex Chakra, and hopefully it is doing its work.

and last, but most important Crystal that I bought...

Aragonite - Stellar Cluster - I read that cluster of crystals is like a big family living together, with their energies bouncing off of each other. This is a very important stone I was told to get dealing with my issues at the current moment, and overall.

I was skeptical at first, and didn't know what to expect. But these crystals helped me to sleep peacefully every night, and also brought peace into my home. Another thing that I've noticed is how these crystals make me feel. Their shape, color, and size. Just these 3 alone put certain feelings into me, aside from their energetic and/or spiritual properties.

I am so amazed and fascinated with crystals, especially now after seeing them work for me. I already ordered 2 books from Amazon on crystals, and they should arrive here Monday. This is so exciting!!!

Crystals, I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!! :)

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

New Music, Vol. 1

From now on I'll be posting new music I find just cuz I feel like it. It will be positive, uplifting, carry higher frequencies, or all of the above.

One youtube user of this song has 7,420,250 views. Daymn! I liked this video the best though

Just found out about this group. Their voices are so cute!!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Mediumship and Channeling

Lately I've been listening to some channeling. It's crazy how people have been doing this for thousands of years, yet with technology we have today, we can get these messages instantly just by typing up the search words.

You can schedule phone sessions with them for helping you with your problems. Bashar waiting period is 3 months...

Bashar - more info on

Dr Williams

There are others, but they don't resonate with me that much.


Here is Darryl Anka talking about how he started channeling Bashar

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

LOL@these Starcraft II Reviews

Today is a special day. It is 7/27/2010, the day Starcraft II comes out. Blizzard released original Starcraft in 1998, and it was one of the best strategy games of all time. Over the years Blizzard has gotten GREEDY with all the money they got from World of Warcraft and it turns out that Starcraft II 1) has no LAN support, 2) actually is 1/3 of the game (that's 3x$60 if you want to get the FULL game), and 3) you need an internet connection to even open up a single player.


They have milked enough WoW fans, now they are here to do the same with Starcraft. Now check out these 1 star comments from Amazon... LOVE THEM haha!!

4 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars overpriced garage..., July 27, 2010
Fun:2.0 out of 5 stars
This review is from: Starcraft II: Wings of Liberty (Video Game)
The Good:
- Almost as fun as the original
- Cool new units

The Bad:
- Charging $60 for 1/3 of a game
- No LAN Play
- Blizzard played it safe when making this game and took very few risks, added few surprises
- Development clearly was focused on figuring out how to nickel and dime customers and make as much money as possible, at the expense of making a truly great sequel
- People can now charge for maps
- Very restrictive DRM
- Poor [...] experience compared to original game
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11 of 16 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars Blizzard try again please..., July 27, 2010
Fun:3.0 out of 5 stars
This review is from: Starcraft II: Wings of Liberty (Video Game)
So you buy a PC game for 60$... and you get a 1/3 of a game, with glitches and hitches and more ways to make money. I remember when I was excited about blizzard games... i even bought blizzcon tickets this year... I feel dirty now.

They aren't the same that they were... its now about making as much money for the most stretched out game play. Albeit the name of the game is to make money, but where is the honor in upsetting all of these fans.

Please blizz cut the DRM licence BS. Please deliver a game, that I want to pay for, and not feel like a crook.

Nextly UBI should join Blizz/activ, make a giant brain child of DRM and server control ;)

On a side not, the game is good, same old same old really :)
Good for some, not so much for others.
If you were a die hard sc1 then you will like it, if you weren't you probably won't make a giant change and come back.
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11 of 17 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars Terrible installation experience, July 27, 2010
Fun:1.0 out of 5 stars
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Starcraft II: Wings of Liberty (Video Game)
First I had to install the game in safe mode, then the updater didn't work on the first game launch and I had to run repair.exe and after that guess what THE UPDATER STILL DIDN'T WORK WHEN LAUNCHED. IT HAS BEEN 3 HOURS AND I STILL HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO PLAY THE GAME I PLAYED FRICKEN OVERNIGHT SHIPPING ON TO GET AND PLAY TODAY!! Screw you blizzard for another failed product launch, this is almost as bad as Diablo II realms being down for 2 months straight after that was released. I'm sorry to say but I think this is the last Blizzard game I will ever buy.
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13 of 22 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars Blizzard Stop Treating Customers like Thieves, July 27, 2010
Fun:1.0 out of 5 stars
This review is from: Starcraft II: Wings of Liberty (Video Game)
I was contemplating getting this game till I read the reviews and looked at Blizzard's site that details the terms of using the game. If I buy a game I want to be able to use it on any computer I have in my home and not have to check in with Blizzard via the internet EVERY 30 days. If I bought the software once, what is going to change in 30 days to make it so that I didn't pay for it? Because of this blatant disrespect I will NOT be buying a copy of this game and will be taking my business elsewhere. I urge anyone that is reading this to take their business to game companies that respect and value their customers.
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13 of 25 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars Dissapointment, July 27, 2010
By Paul Park (Cypress, CA USA) - See all my reviews
Fun:1.0 out of 5 stars
This review is from: Starcraft II: Wings of Liberty (Video Game)
Wow I cant believe blizzard screwed us over like that. Not only did they screw us over they screwed themselves over. All that work they put into the game just to loose their reputation. I knew game security was increasing but not like this, this is too much.

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12 of 20 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars Blizzard doesn't deserve your money.. or should I say activision?, July 27, 2010
Fun:2.0 out of 5 stars
This review is from: Starcraft II: Wings of Liberty (Video Game)
No multilanguage
No offline play
Region Locking
Only 1/3 of the story

A great game ruined by greed.
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13 of 22 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars Another one that won't be buying, July 27, 2010
Fun:1.0 out of 5 stars
This review is from: Starcraft II: Wings of Liberty (Video Game)
I was about to buy. Three of my colleagues got it on launch day yesterday and thought I could join them. I was a HUGE RTS fan in the past (but haven't been for the last 5 yr or so) and was looking at this as my return. No LAN meant no comeback :-(
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