Friday, October 26, 2012

join the Zeitgeist Movement!

I hope nobody assssinates Peter Joseph cuz he could be the next Martin Luther King, Jr., but not only for black people, but for the world!

this is why presidential campaign is a JOKE. it's all tied into religion, propaganda, and mind control. they got you all worrying about voting for a president when none of it matters who wins or loses and going to church because if you don't, youre going to hell. it's all a freak show to keep you occupied while they are getting rich with the corrupted banking system that has been created. anyway, i high recommend all watch Zeitgeist The Movie after this... and join the movement's mailing list. you can watch it for free on the website or youtube.

Thursday, October 25, 2012


let me ask you this. what do you consider 'friends'? are friends some people you got #s of from all your work place? are friends you always go hang out and party with and use them as wing men? are friends people you talk on the phone with? what about when things went BAD? who were your friends that came through?

honest to say, I don't have any friends. i know people at work. i have talked to everyone. more to some than the others, but long story short I came up to them and got their names. I know a few girls that are all over the place in different departments. now i can mess with them or at least ask one or 2 out, but so far i am keeping it cool. i dont know the rules of the workplace, and for god knows why I should stay away from girls there. now for reasons are obvious. i am a 33 year old virgin, no friends, VERY few family members, live with my mom, and hang out with myself 95% of my free time. so imagine me and a girl hit it off, then its time to meet 'me'-the dude outside of work. when she finds out about all this, it wouldnt be good. a strange chick i can dump and never see her again. but girls at work? hmm.. i dont know. different floors maybe, but the girl on my flood i really like i am afraid to make my move. point being is, part of me having no friends is that i am a true loner. i have been a loner for so long, it's hard for me NOT be one. I don't connect that well with groups of people. more on individual level though, but in a group? FUCK NO! sports, which team won, who is the next president? I DONT GIVE A FUCK, ALL OF YOU STFU ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!! so yeah, i find most people shallow as fuck and into 95% of shit i want nothing to do with. i dont give a fuck about bars or clubs, i dont care for yankees or giants. you wanna discuss meditation? reincarnation, out of body experiences, ancient civilizations, aliens, dreams? let's do this. but people in large groups i dont want nothing to do with. i even talk about shallow shit with 1 or 2 coworkers. but this other department we got, all they do is talk about sports, clubs, etc etc...

i met one guy coworker who got transferred last week into my department. he first appeared to be like me. even though i am white and he is bacl, he is very quiet, doesnt socialize too much and keeps to himself. he acts socially awkward? so bad, I had a weird time talking to him, ME, a guy who used to be just as bad even not worse than that. but then i learn that been with women but he from Florida and he says back there women are upftont, tell you if theyll cheat on you, if they wanna be with you, etc.. so here women are stuck the fuck up. so yeah, i just find it funny that even though you may think someone is like you, there is always something different about them. i guess we are all different. i was gonna write more shit but i am high and gonna go hit that pipe once again.

i wanted to release stress after seeing that big sports group left work together and that shy new dude went with them tlaking. i was thinking like 'DAMN! i guess he IS sort of like that. he is just mostly quiet'. anyway, learn something new every day. it made me feel that i really AM different. i really feel like i am from a different planet, of a different solar system. that planet could also be in higher dimensions, if there is such thing as planets. point being, i am really cuirious, fascinated, and needful of this knowledge of spirit world, and all its rules, reincarnation, past lifes. i almost want to see the BIG picture. outside of all this bullshit politics that is used to manipulate people like puppets, and propaganda in the news.

now i also hear that in 2012, dec. 21 that is when things will change. they will 'shift' so to speak. dimensional shift from 4d to 5d, and for some a world filled with war and chaos. it depends on where you're at mentally and spiritually. don't quote me on this but this is something that i keep hearing from different people like public speakers and youtubers. but it's definetly something to think about. im gonna go take a few more hits from my pipe.

peace god

Sunday, October 21, 2012

can't fuck with me

so the whole job situation is getting resolved.

I been asking my spirit guides to give me some feedback on what the FUCK I am supposed to do and the verdict is this.... I dont give a FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!

I couldn't sleep all night cuz that girl who is all cute and purdy just unloaded all that negativity on me. bitch talking about how she is going on vacation but within 3 seconds already mentions how "im gonna go there for a week, only to come back to this shit". basically, telling me all the shit she hates about her job. I got so fed up i couldnt sleep. so much negativy WHOLY FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

so after the whole talk she had with her guy friend who ignores me, i come in today WITHOUT any sleep. and i basically ignore both their asses. they stand at the counter, i go wait by the clothese section greeting customers. they at the spot greedint customers, i am at the cashier.

it all boils down to this-ENERGY! however you feel inside and whatever you THINK, you will make other people feel a certain way. and frankly, I DONT GIVE A FUUUUUUUUUCK! i give these motha fuckers NO RESPECT. they have no respect for me, why the FUCK should I have any for them? I talk to everybody at work, and pretty much show them i can do what ever the FUCK i want and i dont gotta listen to their BULLSHIT or be around them negative motha fuckers.

you think you special? you think you deserve a VIP pass? get the FUCK outta here!!! GTFO of my face and go over there. i give respect where respect is due. WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!? just cuz you work 1 year longer than me, dont mean SHIT!

funniest thing is, after i was straight up distant from everybody at work cuz i just TIRED of trying to talk to everybody being cool some guy who was also distant started to talk to me, haha. then the girl who is a best friend of the negative purdy gurl comes from upstairs i am like "who the FUCK are you again?" i wouldnt even look at her. why the FUCK should i look at your ass to be nice to you and say hello when you negative as hell and judge me on the inside? bitch you gotta EARN my respect; i wont just give it to you.

i am so noncholant and distant that i just DONT GIVE A FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK anymore about trying to connect with coworkers, and be cool with everyone. and i love it. if you cool, we talk. if you not, i get to see that and then you should just get the FUCK outta my face. i will still wish you peace and love on the inside but ill stear clear of your negative and 'i am special' ass. whatever the fuck issues you got with me go solve them out with your shrink. i dont got time for this BULLSHIT!

if the negative girl ever ends up working with me alone and starts talking shit, i will basically call her out on it and tell her she should either stop being so negative or stop acting that way around me. cuz i am not her therapist. not sure how i will say it but i gotta think on that for a while. till then, all you people out there who think you're 'special' need to realize that you eat, shit, fart, and stink just like everyone else. your shit aint special.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

I hate my job

I can't sleep right now and because of this situation at work.

pretty much what happens is this. there is this girl there. she is nice. she talks to me. we talk when its just 2 of us. i enjoy her company. but all the fucking time all she does is complain "it's boring. i hate it here. i am sleepy. this job sucks. i am tired. they dont pay much. he is too loud, she is too quiet, blah blah blah". i enjoy her conversation, but she really brings me down with her negativity.

there is this guy there. he ignores me. he looks down on me. he thinks he is better than me. he avoids me. i could try mess with him by constantly talking to him and act like we best friends but it is almost impossible. why? because when he is there, SHE is there. and when they are there, they start having convos amongst themselves and completely ignore me. it's like i dont exist. they have their vibe going and i get left out of the convo completely. i feel extremely uncomfortable, unwanted, and rejected. they both judge me, the guy overtly, the girl covertly. and when they both get together i feel their energy pushing me away like "GTFO!" i really really hate it.

now here is the thing. i LOVE this job. this is the coolest job I ever had. but these 2 negative people make it a living hell for me. i almost dont want to talk to the girl, even though she is a nice company. because i know when the guy comes they will treat me like i dont exist, and when he leaves, shell use me to listen to her life stories, while she would completely not give a fuck about mine.

at this point, i dont know what to do. i go and talk to other people on the floor, but what about making the sales (it's a retail job). i need to make a commision and the register i am part of is the one they are at. i cant be around the other parts of the floor for too long, so at some point i gotta go back there. FUCK! why do people treat others so fucking bad? i dont get it. i know its nothing personal, but dang! you can bring me into the conversation.

i really hate it when people treat you like some new guy on the block and that they dont ever have to talk to you. they all got each other and know each other, and you are an outsider. whether or not they know you or will be friends with you doesnt matter to them, because they know everyone amongst themselves. damn, this sucks so badly. i cant sleep and i gotta wake up in 5 hours for work. FUCK FUCK FUCK!!! i have lost so much respect for both of them it isnt even funny.

like just earlier today (yesterday) she is going away on a vacation. and this was after he left so it's me and her standing there while her ass complaining how boring it is. she starts telling me how shell go away, "only to come back to this same shit"... i am thinking like BITCH? you didnt even GO on your vacation to enjoy any part of it, and you COMPLAING ABOUT ALREADY BEING BACK? OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!! STFU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP COMPLAINING!

i just think it's funny. her friend that comes to visit her i bet is the same way, but she is quiet. which means she is really judgmental and probably judges me even more. and another guy friend comes to talk to her is the same. he complaints all the time. and the fucked up thing is, THEY ALL IGNORE ME WHEN THEY COME TO VISIT AND TALK TO HER. i mean like... WTF!??!?!

for the first time in my life I am actually excited about this job and the people are ruining it for me by constantly bitching about it and silently throw negativity at me.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

the Presidential Campaign is a JOKE!

a complete joke.

the candidate becomes a president when people vote him in, but i still dont get how that works because the Electoral College votes for the president. but in the end, the man who knows how to talk the best wins. in other words, the man who knows how to be the biggest bullshiter. "ill do this, and ill do that, blah blah blah". when he gets in the office he doesnt do half the shit he said he would. it was all done just to win.

I dont even follow politics anymore. i just watched the debate at lunch today for 5 minutes and almost puked "I believe in god, and blah blah blah" yeah, of course you gonna say that. most of the sheep believe in the same christian god that was used to control the slaves and brainwash them. now this same religion is used to control the sheep of today who dont know a thing about "god" but what the preacher tells them. it's a fucking joke, a real joke. i can't believe people take this bullshit seriously.

i remember i heard someone say something like "the last president of the united states was JFK" and i think they were right. anytime there is a leader that actually makes some sort of difference or does something for the country or its people, he gets taken out. JFK, Martin Luther King Jr., Malcolm X, Fred Hampton. all of these leaders were killed. the presidents today are just like puppets. they do what they are told. fuck the presidential election. i dont give a fuck who wins or loses. its the same bullshit to me. all the hype and at the end, it's just TALK TALK TALK. STFU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! all of you. just STFU!

Negative co-workers

This has been building up inside of me for the last 2 weeks, and I gotta let it out.

so I got this job very recently. It is part time and it is me standing all day.

I am pretty good at reading people and my first impression is ALWAYS right. I am a minority at work. I am one of the 2 white guys in our whole floor. Most of the people are black, some latino, and a few asians. Now, my department has 3 people I work with that switch shifts periodically. 1 black girl, 1 black guy, and 1 asian guy. the Asian guy is cool, the black girl is meh.. she acts cool but judges me on the inside and I could feel it. but at least I could talk to her and she is nice for the most part, and knows how to keep it professional. now this black guy is by far the worst co-worker I have had working at this place.

first of all, he is from Africa. so, he is not an African American. but he walks with a limp, he talks with slang, and I am pretty sure he uses the n word. but that's beside the point. I never judged him for any of this but just took a notice from the observation. now, when i started here i really had to get to know people. no one ever talked to me. so when I got to know him, he made me feel like I am interviewing him. he never asked me anything, but it was mostly me asking him about who he is and telling him about myself. it's something people do to get to know each other and I was totally comfortable, except how he made me feel.

now after that day, he hasnt spoken a word to me. i mean, i come in, and say whats up to him. he doesnt even answer, and when i get to our area where me and him are standing next to each other, he just leaves and stands somewhere else. he treats me like a piece of shit. actually, worse; he acts like i don't exist. and, what's really interesting is that he knows all the people and he talks to a lot of black folks at our place. and it's no big deal to me. he was there for a year, and i just started. but i was just looking at him walking from place to place with black girl co-workers or talk to our manager kissing his ass, or talk to other black guy co-workers, and i realized that back in college and high school, guys like this made me feel like i am a reject. they would always ignore me, act like they're better than me, and create a picture in which they are connected to everyone around them, and vise versa, but i am some wierdo that should remain on the outside away from everyone because i dont belong.

it's real interesting to me how an inner voice plays such a big role in communication. i am talking about what you think, opposed to how you act. he thinks something like "i dont like this white boy. i am better than him. he cant even do it right. he is new here. he dont know shit. he is a rookie. i dont like him. etc.. etc.." now, i dont know if he is racist and doesnt like white people, but i feel that prejudice from him all the way. he never looks at me, never says hi, once he said bye, and it was the first day, and for the rest of the time he gives me attitude like he is above me. now, my inner voice is positive and i send out good vibes towards people, even assholes like him, but i just find it really hard to work in this environment. he acts like we are strangers, and he wants to keep it that way. he treats me like crap, and the only one he talks to is the black girl coworker. like i would be standing there talking to her, and then he comes and starts talking to her like i am not even there. and those 2 got some sort of vibe going. really tells me a lot about her. i already got vibes from the girl, who generally speaking doesnt give a fuck about what i tell her about myself. she just finds a word from what i say and starts talking about herfself because that's all that matters to her. i can hear her life stories all day, but when it's time to hear mine, she is half present, half gone.

i really am not sure what to do. i think ill just mirror the guy when i come in. ill go stand somewhere else when he is at the stand alone. and just be distant. i am tired of this bullshit. i worked with co-workers like this before. it's just that i have never had them be part of my team. and since he is part my team, it makes things 10x harder. team members should be supportive of each other and get each others back. not throw one another under the bus, and act like enemies.

a few other co-workers been giving me bad vibes, but this African guy just makes me kinda not wanna come to work. I will do my best to approach a few girls before i start work. that usually always get my adrenaline going and puts me in a happy mood for the rest of the day. but i havent done that in a while. and the more i hold myself back, the more i cant stop thinking about this fucking douch.


Thursday, October 4, 2012