Wednesday, August 9, 2017

headache woke me

cluster headache woke me 50 mins ago at 2am. went up so severe to 8-9 that eventually my whole left sinus side was full. sometimes I wonder if headaches are caused due to so much energy of a person's soul it cant hold it within one body so it leaks out through headaches. just a thought not sure is based in reality. im just glad af its over, bit i still feel 2-3 scale remnants. this pain hurts so much omfg.. dun wish it on my worst enemy.

Thursday, August 3, 2017

I can't get enough of Kevin McDonald

a man of truth and integrity. not a lot of people you could find these days..

No Porn No Fap

I managed to do this April 22nd to August 2. 4 Months, 1.5 weeks. No Porn No Fap is POWERFUL! Porn is the biggest toxic filth on the planet. If I was a dictator, I'd ban it and throw (((everyone))) behind it behind bars. It's really disgusting how they're destroying our society from every angle, but I digress.

After 2 months, I actually started to get horny again. I was literally numb down there. had no sex drive cuz I was a pornaholic and spending my pathetic lonely life viewing porn and fapping was the only sort of 'love' I ever received. so it filled the void, but it destroyed my life and libido.

No Porn No Fap helped me to study for certificate cuz I wasnt thinking about sex all the time. I mean I was but it didnt matter. I forgot how it really felt. now Im trying to get ahead and wanna start Pickup soon.

I only broke my No Porn No Fap cuz I started to go insane. I even managed to have a conscious release through Lucid Dreaming. but that wasnt enough. I started to think about hurting people and even beat the shit outta my pillow as therapy but still I needed a real release. Anyway, thanks to The Golden One for all the motivation on this No Porn No Fap program. He really motivated the hell outta me.

Now I hope I wont need sex for a while cuz thats how it usually goes since im older. hard to stay focused when I go out to clubs being all horny. Anyway, Im prod of myself, and I just moved too. will blog about this when I get time. the release was amazing too. was 2.5 longer and more intense. Sex is actually amazing and sacred, but when you abuse it, it will destroy your life and your mind.

Monday, July 24, 2017

Jewish Ritual Murder

I remember reading about Satanic children sacrifices on long time ago, but never did I imagine that it all leads back to Judaism and Kabbalah. I guess you could say that Jews symbolically sacrifice white Europeans today when they 1) push for open borders, bringing the muslims and blacks into Europe (and I know what whites go through living around muslims first hand), 2) control the narrative through the mass media they control by painting whites/cops/white rule as aggressors, and muslims/blacks they bring in with low IQ into high IQ white societies as victims, 3) brainwash the entire humanity in the west through our education system they control with Cultural Marxism, which further fuels the anti-white hatred of non-white minorities. And then they just sit back and watch all the violence that gets unleashed at white people. but when you dig deep enough and bring these facts up to the surface, you get labeled an "anti-semite" or a "nazi".

Jews sort of remind me of muslims. When their own people get exposed doing something wicked or evil, their group's representatives will send lawyers to shut you up, and do as much as possible to prevent the truth from getting out. CAIR or ADL, it's all the same shit but different toilet in the end. very fascinating documentary I just ran into, The Hidden Cult: the Jewish Ritual Murder

also, if you enjoyed it. read a book "Jewish Ritual Murder" by Arnold S. Leese. it's a short read and the documentary is based on it. Buy it or read it here for free

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

here we go again

another day, another cluster headache. started about 15 mins ago at 1. now at about 4. i took a break at work, went outside to take deep breaths of fresh air, and it JUST starting to go down as I started typing this. breathing deeply seem to be helping a lot. I drove these headaches away like this the whole year. I guess I was really lazy today and didn't start doing breathing exercises till headache got to 4. blogging for my records.

Saturday, June 24, 2017


so last night I was planning on going to this upscale bar. my friend calls me and says "hey, there is this club and I read in a newspaper that they'll have a good DJ. check the site and call me." So I did and texted her that there will be multiple DJs, but it's a pride weekend and they rented the entire place (this club usually has 2 events so one club split in half). So she says let's do this! I get ready and pick her up.

We park a block away, and as we get there, LITERALLY 98% OF THE CROWD IS GAY! I WAS LIKE WTF!?!?! AM I IN A TWILIGHT ZONE? THIS ISN'T EVEN A GAY CLUB! so we wait a long ass time in line cuz I guess it was full. I tell her "let's go to a bar next door". She goes NOOOOOOOOOOO! we're almost in blah blah blah. We eventually get in, the cover is $40 EACH!! even though it says 20-30 on the website. now I know you're probably thinking, this can't get any worse, right? IT DOES! AT LEAST 60% OF THE MEN ARE HALF NAKED IN SHORTS WITH SHIRTS OFF!!

I'm like let's get drinks, so I lead her upstairs and buy 2. SHE DISAPPEARS WITHOUT TELLING ME ANYTHING. I just moved a little bit to the wall to stand on top of the stands because it was so crowded, I was spilling drinks as people were bumping into me. so I wasn't going to go chase her, looking for her all over the club. I drink mine, and eventually start to drink hers. after finishing about 35% of her drink, she shows up " I was in a bathroom!"

I chit chatted some people to warm up (NO HOMO), and eventually spot this room where they did Tarot readings and VR. I bring her in there. she reluctantly follows. I tell her WTF ELSE U GONNA DO HERE?? plus these are FREE so who cares. We waited for our reading forever, cuz it took 10-15mins for each person, and there were 4 -5 people ahead of us with only 2 readers at the desk.

After we are done with Tarot she starts complaining "let's go to another club!" I tell her "look! it's almost 2am, and by the time we get there, they'll be closed. but this place closes at 4." then as I'm waiting to try the VR mask, she just leaves.

Then I get a text from her "Ur gay". I'm like WTF!!!?!?!?! she drags me to this PRIDE BULLSHIT, it ends up being nothing but homos, I pay for entrance and drinks, spending $120, AND NOW SHE IS CALLING ME GAY!??!?!? I tell her LOOK, I wasn't even going to come here, and only came because of u. I pay for everything, you leave me here, and now you insult me. that's fuked up. she texts me "come over". I tell her no. I'm gonna stay here a little more. I was a little tipsy with 3.5 drinks in my system, so I wanted to sober up a little before I drove home. I only met 2 girls that SEEMED they were straight. everybody else were lesbians (mostly couples.) some smelled really bad of sweat. I was one of the only straight looking guys there with normal going out clothes.

SO FUCK PRIDE! I learned that when I see the word "Pride" in an event, to steer clear of it. I mean I did meet a cool photographer, and chit chatted with some nice people, but overall this was NOT worth it. THE worst experience of 2017 going out so far.

I am going out to that upscale bar tonight. and if it turns out to be like this, I'll simply leave. At least it's free, unless they throw a special event for a party like they did last weekend. Will do some warm ups and approach some girls. I'm serious about improving my social skills, and life. It will just take a long time. But I don't care. I'm committed.

And in case you are wondering what that place looked here. here you go...


Tuesday, June 13, 2017

The Truth about Germany

I came across this video, and it depicts German history quiet well (in an indirect way)

if you don't get it, then listen to this speech by Benjamin H. Freedman. he talks about the REAL history of the WWII

Ironically, Mr. Freedman is himself Jewish. But he talks about what the Jews have done to Germany and the German people, the effects of which could be felt till this very day. The ultimate goal of Jews is total extermination of Germans and the death of Germany. just google The Hooton plan. And thanks to our education system, MSM, Hollywood, etc.. that Jews control, we are constantly bombarded and brainwashed with Cultural Marxist propaganda, painting the good guys as evil, and the evil ones as good. Just ask an average person what he thinks of Hitler, the only man who tried to save Germany, to get an idea. After the war, Hitler became the scapegoat, despite all the atrocities the Red Army has committed, as well as America (Eisenhower starved 2 million Germans to death).

The more I learn about the real history of this world, the more disgusted I feel with just how much lies we are filled, forced to believe they are truths.

“History is written By the victors” - Winston Churchill (another piece of shit who carpet bombed over 100,000 German civilians. fuck Churchill!)