Monday, November 30, 2009

another fucking Headache

I really don't understand why I go through so much pain. And not just isolation and loneliness, emotion pain or whatever, but PHYSICAL PAIN.

earlier today around 10:30am I had this headache from hell AT WORK! so I was like WTFFFFFFF. I eat healthy, check. I drink lots of water... check, I slept that night, check.. WTF YOU WANT FROM ME!!!!!!!!!! I went into the bathroom trying to ask my guides wtf you put me through so much pain. I mean SHIT!!! I talk to my spirit guides before every meditation session and it's like.. I ask for a lot of things and I'm appreciative for all the things I already have but if there was some way I could communicate with them to get rid of these headaches... man..... I was in the bathroom for 20 mins holding my head while taking a shit. I mean seriously... I feel like I'm being tortured when these headaches hit me.

My co-worker said it could be dairy products though cuz her friend had a similar problem so I'm gonna lay off cream cheese for a while and all the other dairies like cheese or whatever. I'm out this bitch. gonna go meditate then sleep... Finally burn some candles and some incense. Haven't done a proper meditation in about a week because of me being sick. It's like food to me.. I NEED IT!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, November 27, 2009

my CPU is fried

PC kept freezing and freezing, I made some posts on some forums and the long story short my CPU is fried. Ordered a new one already from ebay. $26 and another guy told me he can send me one for free that's even faster than the one I ordered. So let's see what happens. I had to underclock mine so I can run my PC without it shutting off.

I even went to the store and got some Thermal Paste thinking it would solve my freezes but no. CPU just died on me but I guess they don't completely fail, but only when you run them at their full potential speed. I don't know. This my first time having problems with this.

Oh and I'm almost done with my next book so look forward to the Review very soon. That, AND I'm starting a new one right after. But this next book is just fascinating to me and not so hard to internalize.. been wanting to read it for a really long time but with school and everything else just didn't have time. I hope it's really good like its index was.

Friday, November 20, 2009

I'm Sick & my PC is Broke

I'm at the lowest point in my life atm. I have pink eye, fungus all over my legs, waist, arms, and my dick. I was shook yesterday because it almost looked like an open wound on my head. I was scared of losing my dick for real. But it SEEMS like it's getting better. (Trojanman, if you reading this, how long did it take you to get rid of this? Cuz I'm on week 2 and it SEEMS like it's getting better but I still don't know because it's the same shit every day) And to top it all off I got a fever right now.

My stupid Manager got sick and the dumb bitch came in to work NEXT DAY talking about "I don't have a cold". Yeah bitch, you don't have a cold TODAY but you did yesterday. Anyone who is sick should KEEP THEIR ASS HOME FOR A MINIMUM 3 DAYS. Now half of the department is sick including me. That got me so mad. I barely had energy to work. It's gonna be a long and painful weekend for me. Funny I got a degree but I make almost minimum wage. And with all the taxes they cutting for November and December in California (they cutting 10% instead of 8 for these 2 months because of economic crisis), I make around $1,200 per month.. LMAO... funny shit ain't it? It's tough, and I thank the Universe for bringing me this job because some people DON'T GOT ANY JOBS! This is why I always knew Obama was full of shit. He is just all TALK, and try to convince people with his bullshit tactics of "Change" and "Hope". GTFO of here with that bullshit.

But anyway, my PC keeps crashing. I don't know if it will crash at any moment as I'm typing this. It could be the video card because it's crap (though powerful), it could be my Power Supply or it COULD be my Hard Drive that already died on me once. I was gonna install my old Video Card but I'll try to replace my HDD and see if that works. If it keeps crashing, I'll try video card next. If it fucks up then I guess its a Power Supply.

I'm gonna do 3 forms right now and burn my body. If I'm not tired after that I'll try my best to do Golden Bell and get my ass in a Horse Stand for 20 mins. This Kung Fu is AMAZING. I was sick as fuck one time back when I used to train religiously, went to my school, did 20 forms, and the next day the cold just left my system.

I'm out. Using safe mode to blog this. I'll do some forms, replace some parts and run tests, take a shower, and probably watch a movie. I WAS gonna play some WoW cuz I barely have time for it now but fuck it. I can't be sitting any longer and need to lay down and watch a movie or something.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The New Britney Spears song is HOT!

Just heard this on a radio. This is the type of song that makes me wanna DANCE. Too bad I'm so self conscious.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Pink Eye again, and Rash

my health is really bad right now. First it was a mysterious blood clot, now I got a pink eye today because my hair is long now, and when they're long they get in my face. I don't know exactly where it came from but this morning I KNEW I had a pink eye for some reason. I really need to stop scratching my eyes even with the back of my thumbs. But my eyes always itch because of my allergies!! Urgh...

And to top it off I had a rash since I lived the last month at my cousin's place. That's for 2 and a half months. Her spot was dirty as hell, flies everywhere in the kitchen, flies going into my room if I have light in it, and I got this rash there. At first it was small and just in a few spots. Now it's all over my legs, stomach, and my ass! I even got this fungus (what the doc said) on my dick! Right on the head my of penis. I been using a cream for a month but it was anti-itching so it didn't help for shit. Now I been using doc's proscribed one for 1 week and not sure if it's getting any better. I guess I'll have to wait and see and make sure I shower once a day. Yeah, my ass gets lazy and sometimes showers like once every 3 days. I got good hygiene so I could get away with it. I guess not anymore. Doc said make sure to keep the body clean at all times.

Gonna go take a shower right now.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

I almost got into a Car Accident

this last Friday I was in a fast lane in traffic when going home. it was around 6pm, dark as fuck, and I had to switch lanes to exit. Then right when I was exiting the last lane i ALMOST hit the car in front of me, and the car behind me almost hit me. The dude behind me was FLASHING FLASHING FLASHING the far light on me I was scared as fuck!

Man... tomorrow I'll be extremely careful when driving home from work and switching lanes.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Drama at work - The Fat Bitch story

so this fat bitch who is training me at work just got into major trouble today. It was so funny, I was trying REALLY hard not to laugh after-wards.

So my position is THE most complicated position in the entire building of our company. The fat bitch and all the others around me are under the same title, but they are more experienced. The Taco Bell Eating buffalo has 1 year of experience under her belt. I got 1 week, going on week 2. Every time the Sumo Wrestler trains me she gets irritated with my repetitive questions, but the thing is THERE IS SO MUCH INFO COMING AT ME BILLION MILES PER HOUR! Plus, she never printed out the VISUAL instructions for me. I had to spend a long time making them myself. Everybody knows this, and doesn't care for my simplistic, and repetitive questions but the Walrus that sits next to me acts all high and mighty, showing off her knowledge, think I'm dumb. I ask her a closed ended question, but the Kentucky Fried Chicken eater will NEVER give me a yes or no. She will always confuse me by throwing in MORE, AND MORE redundant crap that I DON'T need to hear. And she is rude as fuck.

Now I have always had a hard time defending myself ESPECIALLY in social situations. This is because in social settings you have to a) know that you are being disrespected or talked down on. and this isn't just 'fuck you'. it's more subtle things that are being thrown at you INDIRECTLY, and b) know HOW to counter the attack by not being mean, rude, or disrespectful back ESPECIALLY in a job that you just got. I have a hard time detecting both of these but especially the latter. If I were to stand up for myself, I wouldn't know HOW to do it verbally. So I stay silent. Now this fat Orangutan acted like a biatch once again today. Then the guy a few desks away went "ease up a lil bit there [Chicken Wing eating elephant], he is new. How is he supposed to know all this stuff when all you do is talk down on him? I'M SERIOUS!" and the dude went at it. Then my supervisors had her in the big Lady BOSS's room, then the Walrus disappeared from sight for about 10 minutes (crying in a bathroom LMFAOOOOX1293783743874), then they had me in the BIG BOSS's room. I met the BOSS, she was SUPER NICE, I told her the Elephant of India always gets mad at me when I'm asking questions and never gives me direct answers. So now I don't EVER have to talk to the Alien creature with 300 lbs of flesh that is anywhere but on her ass (she is hideous let me tell you), and I thank GOD for that.

Man... when I got back to my desk she was there sobbing... with a tissue. I was trying REALLY hard not to laugh but a few smiles came outta me. That shit had my insides laughing for a good minute and I'm still laughing as I'm typing this. The Fried Chicken eater likes to show off her knowledge and make me look stupid because I only been there 1 week, yet she got in trouble, and then went crying like a lil bitch in a bathroom. She was all quiet for the rest of the day. This Whale is a funny creature.

To be continued...

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Nikola Tesla - Tribute

It's funny how one man revolutionized this planet, and most people don't even know who he is.

My Gangster Grandpa was right..

...when he came to me in dream and said "oh, it's nothing, I dealt with that all my life". Just came from the doc and he said it seems to be a bruise blood clot and not the vein one that could go to your heart and kill you. Phewww.. I was shook. I actually felt like it could be cancer and all the bad things went through my mind. Not that I'm scared of death. I just don't want to go through months of watching my body rot and then die after.

I guess my grandpa was a fighter and he was referring to all the bruises on his face. The weird thing is, I don't remember getting hit in the back of my calf. So I have no clue how it got there. But I ain't going back to WoW for at least 2 weeks. I'll still do my Golden Bell form tonight and burn the fuck outta my body. Fuck push ups. I'll be going back to doing my forms from now on for at least 3x per week. And on top of that call a few peoples I need to get in contact with. Hopefully get a small social circle going or at least get together once or twice with some of my cousins or friends.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Flat tire, blood clot, and my Gangster Grandfather in Dream

I got a flat tire a like 2 days ago on the way to work, and only realized it when I got there. My co-worker told me where to go in South Pasadena and those guys hooked me up. The best $25 ever spent. Thank GOD! I was afraid I was gonna pop the donut since he told me it's not meant for driving but just for emergencies.

Around the same time I kept feeling this weird pain in the back of my leg. Then yesterday I came home and look close. It's a blood clot! Shit freaked me out!!! I was afraid it's cancer or something so been driving around today looking for a doc but they expensive as shit and I didn't get there in time so now gotta go to General tomorrow in East LA. My landlord told me they don't even charge you nothing. I looked around on google and found this "Prolonged sitting, such as during a long plane or car ride" in the Causes section. OMG! I'm generally really healthy but for the past 6 months I haven't exercised for shit! I been staying home, looking at jobs on-line (sitting), running around to an interview or two or buying groceries, browsing the internet (sitting), and the rest of the time playing WoW (sitting). Shit... this is bad. I done just done my Martial Arts forms last night and just now-7 in a row. I gotta get back in shape. Fuck WoW for now, and fuck sitting on the internet. I'll be reading books, doing some exercise, and going to the beach more often for at least a few weeks till I'm back in shape.

Last night though, my grandfather came to me in dream. At first I saw my cousin and her 2 year old baby (the lil fucker that cries 24/7). He was excited to see me and all, and then I was looking around for someone to ask about my leg, and there is my grandfather. I tell him "look, I wanted to show you this", and he goes "oh, that's nothing. I dealt with that all my life". So I said "it's cancer??? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" then woke up at 4:30am. I couldn't sleep till I had to go to work. Now my Grandpa I never met and I think he died like 10 days before I was born. I heard he was a gangster and was the only one that escaped from cops. Everybody else got caught and/or killed. He had 17 knife wounds on his body. So I was thinking maybe that's what he meant? He "dealt with that all his life"? Or maybe blot clot bruises from fighting? I don't know. But that shit really freaked me out because I don't remember him saying nothing else but I started screaming. Anyway, fuck this internet shit. I'm gonna go finish my book.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Jupiter sounds - NASA-Voyager recording


Fascinating recording of Jupiter sounds (electromagnetic "voices") by NASA-Voyager. The complex interactions of charged electromagnetic particles from the solar wind , planetary magnetosphere etc. create vibration "soundscapes". It sounds very interesting, even scary.
Jupiter is mostly composed of hydrogen and helium. The entire planet is made of gas, with no solid surface under the atmosphere. The pressures and temperatures deep in Jupiter are so high that gases form a gradual transition into liquids which are gradually compressed into a metallic "plasma" in which the molecules have been stripped of their outer electrons. The winds of Jupiter are a thousand metres per second relative to the rotating interior. Jupiter's magnetic field is four thousand times stronger than Earth's, and is tipped by 11° degrees of axis spin. This causes the magnetic field to wobble, which has a profound effect on trapped electronically charged particles. This plasma of charged particles is accelerated beyond the magnetosphere of Jupiter to speeds of tens of thousands of kilometres per second. It is these magnetic particle vibrations which generate some of the sound you hear on this recording.
Visit for more sounds."

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Dream about Nebula

Last night I had this dream about being on Earth, and seeing Nebula right in the sky. I was around some kids from the youth center I used to volunteer at. Some of them wanted me to go to the movies with them. Then after talking to one kid whom I remember, we went outside and there it was. It looked HUGE and almost exactly like the "Pillars of Creation" Nebula below, only it was more purple with a darkish background

And the word "Nebula" came to me in this same dream. This is THE first time I had a dream that transcended into the real life. I usually have dreams with images and words that have nothing to do with those images if I were to ever look them up.