Saturday, December 31, 2011

it's 7 minutes until 2012...

and i am one of the loneliest people out there. I got dont connect with nobody from my family. i feel so lonely... wow... sometimes it really gets to me and i think "does it even matter if i approach women or conquer my fears?" ok, lets say i do it and get a number and then there is a date.. then what? ill tell my date that i am 32, never had sex, afraid of people, dont go out or to parties, still live with my mama, trying to be an IT tech but cant get hired because have no experience? and whats the point? how much work i put it and will she really accept my insane circumstance or even myself?

i had a female co-worker that wanted to fuck me in Los Angeles when i was working and had my own spot. but the more she found out about me the more she kept asking the same phrase to me "why are you so weird?"... imagine if she really knew my world and my lack of life experience.. wow... i pushed her away as i do everyone...

2012... i really hope you will bring me happyness, success, power. strenght, self esteem, and thirst for life and living it to the fullest the way i want it.

Saturday, December 24, 2011


This movie is AMAZING. it was so good I am going to watch it again tonight, and the 3rd time whenever I got time. 5/5 Stars! If you haven't seen Limitless, you are missing out.

Friday, December 23, 2011

so I lit up for the first time since the summer...

I thought what the heck, its 1 day away from chistmaass right... and then I stumble onto this..

he looks so much alike like the real Tim hitting a blunt. I swear, weed always brings me crazy things.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

12/21/2011 OBE Present to All

okay. so, today is a special day. exactly 1 year from now, the 2012 "event" date will come. Not sure what is going to happen, if anything. But I found something amazing and wanted to share it as a present to all the people visiting my blog.

A few years back I purchased a book called "Out-of-Body Experiences: How to Have Them and What to Expect" by Robert Peterson. Then I remember on one night, last summer, I was sleeping with my Black Tourmaline stone. And all of the sudden I wake up with my whole body vibrating. I GOT FREAKED OUT and just shook the vibrations off. Then it happened again a few nights later, and again the next week. At some point I read a book on crystals and it actually said that black tourmaline strengthens Astral Travel! BUT... it happened after a few months of reading Robert Peterson's book. So both, the book and the stone, contributed to me having these experiences. But as much as I loved Peterson's book and exercises on how to induce OBEs, it was missing something... As a result, for about a year and a half I have had numberous OBEs, but they always happened sporadically. I wanted to be able to have OBEs by actually following some sort of a plan. And then... I found a book that actually has this PLAN to have conscious Out-of-Body Experiences!!! And the best part about it is... it is FREE!

I have only gone through 23 pages, the 'basics' of how to have OBEs, and already had 6 experiences! 3 OBEs and 3 Lucid Dreams. What is so exciting about this, is that I actually had more than 1 experience at a time. I had 2 Lucid Dreams in a row 2 nights ago, and 2 OBEs this morning. I LOVE THIS BOOK!!!

ALL I ASK OF YOU IS TO PLEASE PURCHASE THE HARD COPY IF IT HELPS YOU IN ANY WAY! It's only $50 on the website(don't buy the one from amazon, it's incomplete-missing around 200 pages. that's why it's cheaper). If you got any sort of questions, ask. Other then that, here is my gift to you. Happy travels!!!!!!!!! (o:

School of Out-of-Body Travel by Michael Raduga

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Married with Children is GREAT!

one of my favorite TV shows of all time, hands down. I don't even watch tv, but netflix just put this show up on streaming, so I'm going through all the seasons. 1st isn't all that great, but with 2nd season it starts to get REALLY FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you have netflix, check out

S2:E12 - Earth Angel
S2:E16 - Master the Posibilities
S2:E18 - The Great Escape

I should really buy some weed and watch this show, it's already funny w/out it. Too bad with all the stupid drug tests every other job I apply for requests. Otherwise, I'd be up in the clouds... someday........

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

1 Month Tantra

okay, so I been practicing Tantra for a few years on and off and I just got my biggest record ever. 1 month without cumming. I started on Monday, 11/7/11 and just released like 5 minutes ago on Tuesday, 12/6/11. That is 4 weeks and 1 day. WOW! I feel great. and I did NOT release by accident. it was intentionally and conciously because I wanted to do it. I could go on for another month but I felt like what the heck, 1 week was my record up until now so I may as well make it 1 month. Next one will be 2 months, or maybe 3.

getting passed the first week was the hardest. after that it got easier and I got to the point where I didn't even want to cum. cumming feels WEAK, not cumming feels amazing. it felt so good that I didn't want to cum ever again. but I am sort of a begginer so I'll just chill for now.

Also been working my PC muscle in between so that helped me to control my orgasm as well. Tantra rules. That's all I gotta say.

2012... I AM SCARED!

okay so, I have been talking to my spirit guides for a few years now, and been asking them to bring me more and more information regarding 2012 and the truth behind it. I have been receiving a lot of it already, and reading a book with tons of 2012 research, but now I just watched this video and I AM FREAKING OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE A HUGE PANIC ATTACK RIGHT NOW, AND REALLY SEE THIS HAPPENING COMES THE GALACTIC ALIGNMENT! we will be going through the black hole gravitation center disk of our galaxy next year, and the guy said it will be pitch black for 30 hours!!!!!!!!! that means no electricity, no light, no stars!! NOTHING!!!!! PITCH... BLACK!!!!!!!!! AND I AM SCARED OF DARKNESS!!! I HAVE A REALLY HARD TIME BEING IN THE DARK FOR MORE THAN 10 SECONDS!!! OMG I AM REALLY FREAKING OUT! okay.. I gotta relax... I am going to practice this little by little. I can really see people dying from fear due to this. if everything I have learned is true, fear will take you out in the new eneriges that will come forth. if you are reading this... WATCH THIS VIDEO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, December 1, 2011

visual Waves in Meditation

this morning I started to see these waves about 15 mins into meditation. every time I'd breath out, I would see a wave coming from the top towards me. it wasn't anything colorful or visual but more of a subtle energy amongst the darkness. then at some point it started to move from top to left. *breath out* wave coming from top left towards me.. *breath out* more left... then at some point it started to come from my left and disappeared.