asked my cousin for help...

yeah so like.. the rich cousin i have... i called her yesterday said i felt like i was about to die and need help.. a place to stay.. etc..

was in their house today. they live in the hills.

man.. it was disheartening. the second i stepped into their house i felt bad vibes. my uncle was looking at me like "what he wants?" and then it went down from there. i was talking and telling them my story but.. they werent even listening half the time. asking each other what food they want, talking to their dog, doing other shit half the time while im talking.. i didnt even want to keep on saying stuff. it was just.. odd... felt like they were uncomfortable. then my uncle was like "you ever thought of going to your dads?" i was like i dont talk to him, we dont have a relationship... 15 mins of him telling me how good my father is and we should get together and do stuff.. argh... then my cousin was walking around and doing stuff. both cousin-male and female went to smoke outside. male cousin went to living room to watch Jeopardy.. aarghh... its like he didnt give a fuck. i went there watching that shit he was like "i love jeopardy" guessing answers. female cousin guessing answers...

then my male cousin just left. no "alright man, gl with your situation", no "alright man, later" or "give me a call if you need any help". he just fucking left. went to his friend or some shit.. without saying a word.

i almost left till they convinced me to stay for tea. i stayed for tea and my 2nd time telling them i sleep in my car for 2 weeks.. they actually heard me this time "YOU SLEEP IN YOUR CAR?" yes!! for 2 weeks!! jesus christ, i felt like i was in a movie with strangers or something. i felt odd as hell when i went to the bathroom. like.. wow.. .this is my fam...

uncle's wife told me she could help me to pass around resume and stuff. i really believe herd her. everyone else were like meh... in their own world and shit. even her actually.

it was hard as shit to ask for help. i did it, and it turned out to be almost pointless. i didnt even want to ask them to stay over with these vibes. i asked my cousin on the phone, but didnt wanna ask them in the house. uncle offered me to come stay with them when i said i sleep in a car.

whatever.. off i go. gotta drive and sleep somewhere. i am really sleepy and hopefully those pain pills will knock me out tonight.