when Trojanman told me I need somebody to talk to face to face, it got me thinking. I don't even have 1 person here in LA that gives enough fuck about me to come hang out with me or ask me to come hang out with them. 7 cousins live here, one of which is a distant not related by blood, and none of them ever call.
Now I got this "friend" who lives in Riverside and she does nothing but call me on the phone and tell me about her problems. Like she could call me and tell me about her father and how fucked up he is. And I'm like hey.. it's all good... my father is fucked up too. But then she calls me and starts telling me about her guy problems like "so this one guy at my work, I went for him, and then I pushed him away, and now I'm gonna work on Sunday with him and it's gonna be so uncomfortable". And I'm thinking "bitch, wtf do you want me to say?" I have no clue what to tell her cuz you tell this sort of thing to your girlfriends or maybe gay guys who'll probably go "guuuuurlll he did you wrong" or some shit. I AM NOT THE ONE! But I try to be nice so I just stay silent cuz I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL HER! I have no experience with women and she knows this.
And I had this dream about her one time. In this dream she lied to me about where her room is, and that we were gonna do something in her room. I said if you lie to me I don't wanna be friends with you and she went "NOOOOOOOOO. I NEED YOU!" So when she was telling me about that white guy at her work or whatever the fuck I said... 'I gotta question for you. are you using me?' and I told her about my dream and she went 'no, if I were using you then you'd be using me too.' BUT ALL SHE DOES IS CALL ME ON THE PHONE TELLING ME HER BULLSHIT PROBLEMS! or that her job sent her on some fucking delivery, or that her dad is giving her trouble, blah blah blah. she doesn't wanna meet up (one time flaked on me when I was the one who tried to go to the beach), she doesn't want me to come visit her (when she told me I should and said she'd visit me too. I fucking wanted to see her city and she calls me right away on some "there is nothing to do here" as in 'dont come here!!!'), and I been in LA since July I haven't seen her ONCE!!!
So she got all mad or whatever and haven't called me since. She was like "dont get this the wrong way but I love you and blah blah blah, but I dont NEED you. If you not there, I'll be alright". Oh, and when I asked her about this she said "I'm not using you for emotional support". And I was thinking like... BITCH IF YOU NOT USING ME FOR EMOTIONAL SUPPORT THEN WHY DID YOU BRING EMOTIONAL SUPPORT UP? FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! But I'm all nice and shit and can't say it to her because as crazy as this sounds... SHE IS THE ONLY PERSON IN MY LIFE WHO CALLS ME ON THE PHONE AND TALKS TO ME! So I'm scared of losing her. But on the real though... FUCK THAT BITCH!!!!!!!!!!! I am so sick of hearing from her and her telling me "oooooo, I'm gonna do so and so, you should come be there for me" when I KNOW we aint never gonna meet and the bitch is gonna keep talking about these future plans that will never happen.
So I don't know. I texted her once after that and she never replied. The bitch is probably mad. FUCK HER! I won't ever call or contact her and see if she does and if she doesn't, good riddance. I'm so sick of always finding people like her who find one or the other way to use me for their purposes when at the end of the day I remain ALONE with them being nowhere near me to support me. Yet when shit goes down they call me for some sort of advice or a shoulder to lean on. FUCK YOU BITCH! GO TO HELL!! IF YOU USING ME FOR THAT DON'T EVER CALL ME AGAIN YOU SLUT! STUPID ASS BITCH.
3 comments:
dayum, that bitch is fucked up. mayne.. for real, like what kind of grimey shit is that? the bitch is basically taking time out of your life so she can cry about her life to you and in return, she can't even chill with you? wtf? mayne, fuck her. to me, that's one of the worst things somebody can do. like for real, she's asking you to be her friend BUT in return, she's like i don't wanna be your friend. mayne, even though she may be the only one that talks to you and keeps you from feeling lonely, somebody like that is DANGEROUS. the type of person that wants you to jump for a bullet for them BUT damn sure won't one for you.. keep searching for friends, mayne because that bitch isn't one of them.
yeah man. she has a dysfunctional father who was never close to her so she makes male friends to replace them with a father figure or some shit. which is cool, i mean i'm not judging her. but i feel like i'm one of these other dudes she calls or whatever. like im some sort of an accessory when she wants to vent out and let out her frustrations or when she is going coocoo so she needs some source to listen to her bullshit.
fucking bitch. if that's how she really is, fuck her! tired of these people coming into my life using me in one form or another.
mayne... that father shit is her problem. the fact that she's basically running to you expecting you to listen to her and shit while she can't even do that shit for you. fuck her.
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