My Date with an Indian Girl

so today, I had a date with the Indian girl I last blogged about. I thought she was gonna flake and not respond, like most of my female interactions, but she didn't. We met up at our work's cafeteria. I was really busy, and had another appointment with a user at 1pm. She wanted to meet at 12:30, so I was in a rush.

I had doubts about asking her out over the weekend. I didn't really take a good look at her, and kept wondering if she's my type. But when I got there I was like damn she's pretty! But again, I still don't know. I am a Libra and we are picky af! Anyway, I got my food already, found a seat, and told her where it is while she stood in line.

As she joined me, we chit chatted and then it happened. Me being me-inexperienced, and haven't had a date in close to 5 years (if not longer). We had awkward moments but they didn't last that long. She filled them up with movies she watched, and I filled them in with some other crap I don't remember. All in all, I don't know. I think she likes me but you can never be too sure. Girls are weird. They act interested and flake, or not call back, and all just to be nice and not make you feel rejected. Even though that is exactly what they are doing.

How do I feel about this whole thing? Like I feel about everything in my life. Ashamed. Ashamed of not having experience with women, ashamed of not being exciting and fun to be around, ashamed of revealing this side of me to her. But I can't say it was that bad. I think I am just too hard on myself. I was doing what I usually do on dates, hiding. I am afraid what people around may hear when I speak, so I don't speak loud enough. It's really bad, but I guess it comes from feeling shame about everything in my life. I used to be a lot worse, though. I would be this way ALL THE TIME, EVERYWHERE, WITH EVERYBODY! I have at least improved a lot when it comes to people, and improved a little bit when it comes to women where I managed to ask this girl out. 99% of the times I don't, even though there could be all these signs of interest. I am too afraid of what others around will think, and I prevent myself from living my life.

Towards the end I said "We should do this again sometimes" before leaving. She said sure. I added "outside of this place[work]"... If anything comes out of it, I'll blog about it. If not, then even better. So that I don't have to deal with this shit. I feel like I am a 16 year old stuck in a 38 year old body. Can't even imagine how bad I will be at sex, if it ever gets to that...

Up All Night in a Hotel Room

So I just woke a few hours ago, at around 4pm. Me and my new Tranny friend decided to get away in a hotel for the night.

The first plan was to get away for the whole weekend to Half Moon Bay. She never been there, and said she was open. But then when she never got back to me by Thursday, I started to feel like she is too busy doing her escort job than wanting to hang out. I started thinking about all of my past experiences, and that she is probably like everyone else. Then I thought it’s over between us, as people tend to leave me over time. So, I didn’t text her until I heard from her on Friday. She said she’s free that night, but the next day she was going to be busy.

I wanted to get together with her and tell her that this isn’t working out, and that I don’t feel safe doing stuff like rimming her when she escorts for a living. But when we met up, her vibe was just amazing! I completely forgot that she is such a good person.

I decided to get us a local hotel room near the beach.

Hanging out with her was possibly one of the greatest nights of my life. At first, we were like ‘okay, we’ll stay up till 2, or 3’. Then before we knew it, we’re up till 5 am. Just laying there holding each other, watching videos, movies, etc.. talking about all sorts of things most people would find weird, and outrageous.

We talked about names and how both of us changed ours, and how much of your personality could change due to you changing your name. I am actually looking to change mine again after having this conversation. I told her about my Egyptian Goddess, and she told me about her Aztec God. Spirit Animals, ayahuasca, etc.. just a lot of unconventional stuff.

I realized how challenging her life is. She has to pay rent, health insurance, and also work her regular job outside of doing her escort services. She is not like a street hooker at all, takes great care of herself, eats healthy, and even meditates. I kinda regretted taking a few hits from her joint after getting nervous. I realize more and more that weed is just not for me, or at least I need to learn how to be calm when I smoke it.

The whole night was just amazing. I realized that I made a real friend this time. She is a loner, like me, and is very open. I mean, I meet some open-minded people. But she is just unlike anyone I’ve ever met, and has a completely non-judgmental personality about life, sex, etc.. It’s rare I meet someone like her. She wants to do a full surgery and get a pussy. I said that everything about her is beautiful, and she shouldn’t change a thing. It’s amazing how some people just have body features that aren’t of their gender. Her ass has this natural, feminine, and curvy shape. Even she has ass implants, she told me that she has always had the curves. It’s just unbelievable. If you’d see her walking around half naked, you’d think she’s a girl. I was surprised to hear that when she was a stripper in Tijuana, she was making a $1,000 per night with men thinking she's a real woman.

Everything about that night was showing me good signs, including numerology. We’re walking past hotel rooms, and see room 222, going to a gas station to get some water; the gas price says 3.33. Looking at her phone clock and it shows 4:44. Then we walking back to our hotel room, and see triple numbers AGAIN. She says to me, “something is happening right now”… This wasn’t like any other night. We want to get together again soon. Not sure when that will be, but hopefully soon.

I am sick, & Date 2 sucked

so I txt the girl to meet again, and we ended up watching a drive in movie-my first time ever. right off the bat, things went south. I made a huge mistake, and did not tell her I had a soar throat. She started acting moody and weird, and the whole time she was like that. She was freaked out that I didn't tell her and that she may get sick also. Later I find out she has issues, and the good thing about this date is that I would've never knew her issues if I didn't show up being almost sick.

She txt me saying she overreacted, and feels fine. But I am SICK now. Had to take PTO from work, and nose been running all night. I barely slept, and had a huge fever the whole night after the date. I thought I was gonna die; my heart pumping so fast. Now it's the next day and I'm better with no fever but my nose is still running. I think Advil helped to get rid of the fever, but I hope I can work tomorrow.

peace

I had the BEST Date of my life...

I just got home from my date; first one this year. It was with a big girl I met, from cl of all places. It's funny because I just got some weed, and I haven't smoked in a long ass time. I am still doing my 60 days no fap challenge, but since I smoked a few days in a row I was like 'ehhh, let me look on cl', even though it was against my challenge. So I did, and found this girl's ad. Her ass was fucking AMAZING! And she liked my pics, so we ended up having a date.

She pretty much told me she is a weirdo, like me. And she has no friends, like me. WTF? That really shocked me. These two things mos def are huge things we have in common. I tried talking about sex asking what she likes when she brought up polyandry, but it went downward from there. I was so fucking horny for some reason. I usually have a really bad sex drive since all this porn and fapping I've been doing throughout a big part of my life. It almost put a mute on my sex drive. My boners weren't as strong, my climax was weak, and after the first orgasm I didn't care to go for the second round. But after seeing all the ass on this girl, and not fapping nor porn watching, I started fantasizing about BBWs and was almost on a mission to bone her after the date. I was surprised too because I thought I only like Trannies this much. But I guess BBWs, and other sorts of women are all a part of me, as much as Trannies are a big part of me too.

I came home with blue balls. It was painful, and still is somewhat. My nuts are officially red, but my 60 day challenge is still on. It's a good thing the girl gave me feedback on how forward I was sexually and that isn't a good thing on the first date. Many girls would just walk out and the date would be over. Anyway, I can see the future with this girl. I was just checking out her curves and HOT DAYMN I WANTED TO RAVAGE THAT PUSSY RIGHT THERE!!! my god... but if anything happens with this chick, I'll make another post.