shit i dont know. i fucked up big time when i approached her and now paying for it. i think she likes me but for how long? tomorrow she could like somebody else and be mad at me for not talking to her. i have seen this sort of thing happen before. there would be a girl who is into me, i avoid her because i'm scared of talking to her, few days go by and she gets all mad and starts either ignoring me or have mean looks.
so with this girl it's like i don't know when to talk to her again. i was gonna sit in the same place she sits today but her friend was already there plus there were other people around all talking so i sat somewhere else. then after class this guy was trying to talk to her and i just left. i visualize and try to think positive but once the panic attack takes over it's a whole different story.
the only thing i can think of right now is finish the quiz early tomorrow then wait for her outside in the hallway. when she comes out just ask her to hang out. but isn't that creepy? if i don't do this then we dont got school for the rest of the week so it's gonna be the same bullshit weekend of waiting and thinking, and i'm tired of it. i swear i feel so alone at times like these. it's like i got 2 friends who i can't even call for advice. one disappeared like she always does, the other i dont know whats up with him. every time i have something happening in my life i deal with it alone. i just wish i had a real friend. like back in high school i had this friend we could talk about anything. i mean we would talk for hours on the phone. even though he ended up being a user i really enjoyed that friendship. but now i'm just gonna have to go face this alone, as always.
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