i slept about 3 hours last night, and think this could have been the cause. but today when I was doing a swap at my user's desk, I got hit with a headache bad. i went to the bathroom and suffered there in agony for about half an hour till it came down. i still was fucked up for the rest of the day. these things take all the energy out of me.
i swear, i wanna be dead when i feel this pain. it's like someone is stabbing me in my head. i think i am ready for ayahuasca. if i can take this much suffering, i can sure as hell take whatever aya can put me through. that's what i realized today. the fear will always be there. but I really wanna try magic mushrooms first. it's hard to find a ceremony, though, unless i wanna go to mexico.