Fake Love Sucks

I was waiting for a bus this morning, and some black dude rolled down his window & yelled out my name telling me to come to the youth center. you know what that is? fake love, and it sucks! It's the same type of love some guys pretend to give to women acting friendly, all smiling and shit, when all they want is some pussy. I dont know nothing about that cuz im not a chick but either way fake love sucks!

Going to that youth center was cool, i enjoyed it, but it was also nerve wrecking. I was the ONLY white person there, and you know i like black people. and one universal thing about liking someone or something, is that you really care about it. So i'm all self conscious when im at that youth center, its like a very hard place for me to be myself. Sort of how many men act around fine ass women that they really like, they freeze up and dont know what to do or say.

but about this fake love. i know that guy, hes cool and everything, but he never called me for any other reason then to ask me for a favor. and when i didnt show up at the center after that i saw him within a few weeks and he was all acting like hes trying to get a hold of me, but i didnt say anything cuz i was like well what does he want? i know he wants me to do him that favor, but i barely know him and on top of that he doesn't verbalizes it, probably cuz hes ashamed and doesnt want to make it look like thats ALL he wants so he got all quiet and shit. And that whole 'come to the youth' may be a warm and friendly love, but its all fake.

Its very hard for me to connect with people so when something like this happens it feels as if somebody reaches out to me to show love, but its not love its fake love. I dont ever want to confuse the two, i did in the past and people played me like their stereo.

Some kids like me there though, one saw me on a bus and was wondering why im not showing up anymore. I didnt wanna tell him my reasons but damn, im too embarrassed to show my face there. oh well, it was fun while it lasted...