The Boom box in my English class made me Reminisce

My english class teacher had a boom box on the floor and that thing took me all the way back home, back where i came from, at about the age of 10 or even younger.

This was a trip. I remember when i was a kid i never had any sort of negative or uncomfortable feelings being at parties. Now i never gone to parties back then, maybe a few but mostly it was just school, home, hang out with friends, etc.. One time there was like an after class party. This man came to my class and he brought an electronic Yamaha piano with him, and some other equipment. I remember i was sitting there looking at him playing and singing like "wow, when i grow up i wanna be that", i came up to him asked him some stuff. It was amazing, i never had any sort of negative talk, i just did what i wanted, i was curious, so i came up and asked him how the stuff works, talked to him a little, he even gave me his phone # and told me if i'm interested he could teach me (I wanted to ask my mom to pay for the lessons but i never did). Now if i go to an event or to a party, which i never do, id be sitting there thinking real negative things like "what if people are watching me? what are they thinking? what if this what if that" instead of just having my mind blank and following my feelings. I miss those days man, i feel like all the people that ever fucked with me and pushed me around have really made a difference the way i feel inside and it makes me really mad that i let them.

I think its also the transition moving to America. It made me feel totally different. Back home id feel like everybody is the same, i knew everybody in my classes and everybody knew me. When i looked at Americans on tv id be like "wow, theyre so cool". Then i came here and felt like everybody was better then me. Damn that inferiority complex is lame but ive had it for the longest, still do subconsciously in certain situations. I miss being a kid, not having a care in the world, being real fun and cracking jokes. I was really something back then, people thought i was funny and i was because i was just being myself.