and she is like the finest girl I've seen in a long time. I mean she looks like somebody just put her together. Not 1 thing on her body makes me feel 'ewww', and I am so picky.
And the weird thing is that she was nice to me... I think. I asked if they had reading magz she brought me out 3 copies and then showed me where all the magz were. I didnt even see at first but then.. why would she bring me 3-5 extra copies? I was like thanks.. Read like 5 of them cuz the wait for 1 hour and 30 minutes. After the appointment she asked if I can make it during a week I said no I work full time and it would have to be after 6pm. She was like 'oh'. Then scheduled me next Saturday and said nice to meet you. I didn't even give her my name or asked for hers... Is she really digging me or is my mind just talking or thinking way too into it? Ahhh I dont know. I get nervous as fuck after this sort of episodes. It's like if I don't know what's happening or act on my instict, and I never trust my instict and many times intuition been completely wrong for me in the past. So having this experience I never go with what my gut feeling is telling me. Then I wait and the longer I do the more nervous I get. Like now I'll be thinking about this shit all week till Saturday comes and then I wouldn't know what to do or say. I was thinking of asking to talk to her outside or something. Like at my courthouse internship 2 girls were telling me how men would approach them and how fucking stupid some are. They said that the appropriate thing to do would ask a girl to talk to you outside of your work setting. That way you don't put her on the spot with everyone watching and you asking her out. That would rude or something. So I don't know.. that's the only thing I have in mind but then so many things come to mind as well. Like.. if this takes off I'll have to meet her friends and family. Then I'll be known as this lonely, no friends, playing WoW, meditate guy. Like a weirdo or some shit. People would be like... you don't like sports??? wtf!?!?! you didnt watch the superbowl and you dont even give a fuck about it??? HUH!?!?! damn man what planet are you from!? shit.. I'm so scared of people cuz they are all so different then me. And women usually act very cold and 'I'm taken, don't talk to me. I'm gonna be silent and not say much and rude if I'm a bitch' vibe. I mean not all the time but... still the ones I like anyway.
When a fine woman I'm into acts nice to me my mind goes..... WHAT IN THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?!? am I in a twilight zone? And I don't know what to do from there cuz every other bitch is rude as fuck. It makes me resent women and not want to be with any of them. I would rather fuck a tranny off a Jerry Springer then deal with all that garbage negative attitude from hoes. They are so mean it's like wow... what have I done to you bitch? Have I even spoken to you long enough so that you would even have time to form an opinion of me? Why are you so fucking rude and disrespectful? I mean even if I have no confidence and it shows. everybody got their own bullshit to deal with, why are you judging me you slut?!?
Anyway. I'm gonna go meditate cuz it's getting late as fuck and I was running around town doing laundry, buying a blanket sheet for me cuz the last piece of shit polyester from Ross was black and shed so much fucking cloth that made me go through 1 and a half rollers getting that dark polyester off of it wasting hours. It was fucking pathetic. This one is palyester too but it's good quality. Not some cheap Ross piece of shit cuz it's from K-Mart. and the girl there told me she got a green one and it doesn't shed any material. Also said I can return it in 90 days even if I wash it, sleep with it, or make it dirty. FUCK YES!!! FUCK CHEAP ASS ROSS CRAP! I only buy silverwear and other stuff like that from there that I know I like and will put it to good use. I'll never buy blankets from there again. They are horrible, cheap, and smell funny. Probably a bunch of chemicals in it too. I was at the Ross in South Central and they even had a warning sign that said there are chemicals in some cloth or material. So yeah.. fuck them! I only buy clothes from there and then wash it right away. I never wear it before washing it.
Till next time. I'm out...
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