it got as much bad as it has its good. i work on campus driving a kart, and it is by far the greatest job i ever had. i get paid to drive! omg, its heaven!! i love driving and even though im quiet and don't talk to too many people i give rides to, i get some joy out of it. so this is the first job i actually get some joy out of, but some people at the office already labeled me a weirdo.
i been working there for a while and basically once people saw how im to myself and quiet, they keep their distance. it's the same "happy" people who always have a nice and fun life. they find other people who are happy, always smile, feel good inside, know what to say, how to joke, and tease others, and become friends with them. now when i come in im on that social awkward shit where i don't even get some of their sarcasm or their teases and take everything literally. other times i just don't know what to say or barely smile cuz i got nothing to smile about so i'm labeled a weirdo.
so the same people who been keeping their distance i just mirror their response and ignore them. they dont acknowledge my presence i do the same shit back. to some of them i dont even say hi to cuz im sick and tired of being treated like shit cuz i grew up different. its funny though cuz some of them already trying to be nice to me cuz they feel guilty or whatever but i dont give a fuck. i've always considered myself a cool guy, i'm cool with everybody but i guess the way i act is abnormal to society's standards so i'm never considered part of the "in" crowd and always on the sidelines somewhere. this is why after i joined the black student union i didn't feel like going there. it would've been the same shit there as it is anywhere i go, only about 100 times more awkward since im white, everybody there is black, and i don't know anybody. i bring that negative, pessimistic, and socially awkward atmosphere everywhere i go. i can't help it cuz it's part of who i am, and i'm not even stressing about it anymore like i used to. my #1 goal is to focus on school and getting my ass outta my mama's house. that's it. fuck those people at my job who think im weird, fuck whoever bases their negative opinion about me without even talking to me and finding out anything about me. i dont give a rats ass as long as i can get an education and get my own money so i can support myself. nothing else matters to me at this point.