i fucked it up. yep. funny thing is, i didnt feel better at all after talking to her. like in the past id feel a 100 times better after doing something i was scared of doing. but nowadays i dont feel any better whatsoever cuz i always tend to fuck things up, and in the end nothing would come out of it as a result.
so i came up to her after class and introduced myself or whatever and then asked her to study with me. she was like "study together... hmmmm...." like "i know he doesnt just wanna study." fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK THIS SUXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.
then she was like well me and my friend (another girl) study for this class so if you want ill let you know next time when we get together. i was like ok... i was frozen, speechless, and just like "fuck what do i do now? how do i recover??????????????????"
i should've just asked her to hang out and thats that. but i didnt. study together huh? now with the other girl in the picture is like i dont even wanna bother talking to her anymore. wtf is the point? wtf am i gonna do studying with 2 girls when i like one of them.
why do i always get myself into these situations? its like im cursed but nah.. i know what it is. i read up on my zodiac and it said exactly that. that i am indecisive by nature and always end up in predicaments that are hard to get out of. yep thats me since day 1. i even remember growing up in tashkent and when id deal with some street shit id make the exactly opposite choice of the right one. one time i remember me and my friend walking home from school. and when i walked home from school i always had to watch out for guys in the streets cuz they roam in groups and its sort of deserted cuz the school would be out. so id be careful and look out real far ahead to see if anything down the block. then id make sure i cross the street at the right time but one time me and my childhood friend walking home from school. so then we walking down the hill about 3 blocks away from our house and we see uzbeks, like about 10 of them. then my friend was like "oh shit, uzbeks!" and ran the other way. i was speechless and puzzled like "fuck my friend just left me, wtf do i do now??" so then i did what i shouldnt have done, i just kept walking towards them just to show i wasnt scared when i was. and then one of them pointed at me and said something to the group. for some fucking reason they kinda went ehh whatever and left. so i got lucky. but in general id make these stupid decisions that make me get in trouble, or in places that are hard to get out of. i hate that shit. almost every time when i gotta make a decision on my feet, for whatever reason i make the wrong choice.
fuck i dont know what im gonna do now. i really wanna drop the class but im not gonna do that. i guess im gonna have to go face this shit and maybe think of another way of saying that i just wanna hang out, its just gonna sound stupid as hell now. shouldve just said it when i talked to her. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5 comments:
i say you holla @ another chick and try not to focus on her so much. mayne, i fucked up myself too last night. this banging ass chick, dimepiece... she had no titties but she had ASS. she had a MOTHERFUCKING backyard that was killifying me for real.. i just stared @ her and just was checking her out BUT i didn't say anything to her. i could have BUT i just couldn't bring myself up to say something cause i didn't know what to tell her without fearing that she'd reject me. so i just figured that i just leave her alone, try to keep an image of her and that ass in my head and wack off to that shit about two hours later when i came home BUT one chick doesn't stop the show though. there's too many dimes in hiding and goddamn chicks waiting to be fucked by people like us. we're a hot commodity.
i dont have any other girl i like in the class man. its fucking hard cuz from now on it will be a nerve wrecking experience sitting in that fucking class cuz she now knows i like her. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!! i wish i could've just said how about we hang out and get her #. but i froze.
and you need to talk to these chicks to fuck up. all that stuff you said dont count. i know you scared but you just gotta take that fear you have inside and walk towards her, tap her shoulder and say hi. the fear is not gonna go away. it will always be there. if you just gonna stare youll look like a creep and youll never get anywhere.. ever!
yeah, mayne.... you right. shits scary though man. why the FUCK do we get nervous talking to chicks man? shits fucked up. like dayum... i don't even get it yo. i get fucking nervous when i'm in the club and in my mind, i got some bullshit ass fantasy that some chicks gonna magically fuck me. but shits fucked up yo.... especially in your situation cause you're actually trying yo.
yeah, mayne... im right but... you need to fucking DO IT! with all these excuses youll make another 20 blog entries before you even work your nerve up to talk to the girl you really like.
set a goal to yourself that the next time you like a girl in your class, come up and talk to her. and make it obvious like "hey excuse me can i talk to you for a minute?" shell be like *sizes you up* "yes/no" and youll be like "what your name?" and shell smile and say "Natalie" and youll be like "hi im trojanman" *shakes her hand* "how about you and me and out sometime?" (FUCK STUPID STUPID STUPID SHOULD HAVE SAID IT!!!!!!!!!! <----------is mad right now) and shell be like ummmmm.... *smiling* "yeah... sure"
then get her # bata boom bata bang. seriously, practice this every day in the mirror and then once the moment comes act it out. and visualize that shit man, dont just read this and reply with your "yeah, you right BUT im just gonna sit here at home blog all day about bitches i was staring at". if i get one of those replies im gonna come out of that monitor and slap the shit ouf of you. really visualize that as its happening and also the most important part is to really feel like its going towards a positive way. otherwise youll be too caught up in your negative thought process and screw the whole thing like i did.
anyway, do it dude. its for your own good. if you dont do what i say you wont just fail me, youll fail yourself. and youll also fail at life cuz then youll never do this till your grave. aint no miracle coming man. you got to do it, you. nobody else. there may never be that male role model or a friend to push you through this. you on your own and you best act while you still young. before you know it you like 40 years old and still on your blog bitching about how you a virgin. its true man, sorry if im being tough right now but you need this shit. nobody is giving you this realization cuz they too busy dissing you yet you need to hear this.
anyway, hopefully you take this seriously otherwise you are in a much bigger shit hole than me. see what type of deep shit come out of you when you are high? you should thank the weed cuz without it i wouldnt have said any of this, ahah.
Mane, I can't remember the last time I talked to a chick too, i'm saying I'd rather KIM than get rejected by a broad.
When you get rejected, the brawd feels on top of the world and you feel down in the dumps. I'll pass. jerking off is enough fun for me.
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