Thursday, May 19, 2011

my Therapist Sucks

so today I drag my ass to my shrink and he always makes me feel like 1) he doesn't understand me, 2) he doesn't know what he can do to help due to him having a totally different life, and 3) he doesn't care. for #3, his eyes roll almost in the back of his head. it's a subconscious thing people tend to do when they are bored, or don't care. I notice this a lot and don't want to be around people who do that when I talk to them. in this case, it's my shrink.

so today was the most uncomfortable appointment yet. I came there, asked him how he is, he asked me I was and what I been doing. and of course, it's the same shit. I was like "looking for a job and not looking for a job being bored. I'm bored most of my life" and then there was silence... I didn't have shit to say and neither did he. I just sat there without saying a word. and why should I? that fucker gives me "I don't care" vibe the second I start talking. the first 5 minutes were the hardest. I was uncomfortable. then I was like blah, and I started to meditate visualizing a shield. after about 25 minutes he just went okay we'll since you just sitting there staring into nothing, see you next week. I was like yeah, okay. and that was that.

at this point, he cannot help me for shit. I will talk to my fam see if we can just keep him as our family shrink and so that I drop him for my appointments. I seriously think that #1 I need a job, #2 I need money, and #3 the only person who could help me is me in the future. in other words, someone like me and who had my life, but is prosperous now. I can learn a lot from a guy like that because he would understand me the most, and genuinely CARE about helping me, not like this shrink who is clueless.


Paz said...

i feel you, dude. fuck these bitch ass shrinks because all they ever do is pretend to care and they don't even listen or try to understand where you're coming from. for real.... most of them only care about the $$$$. these motherfuckers don't realize that people actually NEED them for help yo. for real... fuck these marks.

yo... the day there's a shrink like the one in good will hunting that robin williams played then let me know.

Sp said...

you got that right. fucker sits there with this "I don't care" vibe, or better yet, he has this "I got people coming to me with REAL problems, and you are a weirdo who I never met before. I have no idea how to help yo ass mang" like... wtf!?! it just shows that I really am unique. people like us are rejects worldwide. no one understands us or knows what to do with us. but I can't complain cuz every therapist is different. this one just not my cup of tea.

but yeah, I will let you know if I ever find someone who knows what the fuck to do. but listen man, this is something I already intuitively know. you and me both need to start TALKING to people in public, clubs, and yes PARTIES. we need to start attending them every week over and over and over again. socializing is how we will get better. so I really think a shrink who has gone through this hell we have to go through, and came out on the other side is the one who will PUSH us to do the same and we would have to check back with him every week.

so yeah man, I hate to say this but it is the only way to get better. I am really worried cuz I'm 31 already. the older you get, the harder it will be to change. first thing though is a job, and a place to call your own. you don't wanna be a guy who still lives with his mama meeting people. it's uncomfortable as fuck.

Anonymous said...

Shrinks suck bigtime. I've seen 3 different ones in my life, and 2 were a complete waste of time. The other one was pretty good at offering alternative solutions I hadn't thought of, but really when it comes down to it, psychology is some bullshit. And here's something to consider, alot of them have fucked up personal lives too, maybe even worse than you. I had one that even admitted she had been on meds for years for depression. So what the hell was she gonna tell me, besides get on zoloft. Don't depend on these quacks to fix your abstract fuckin issues.

Sp said...

yep. i do think the only people these shrinks could help is people like themselves. but they have to have their shit together first. like if you were in and out of jail and you finally learned not to break the law, you can help someone in trouble, etc.. but seeing 100 different people with 100 different problems when you only dealt with 1 of those. there is a 99% chance you won't be able to help the other 99 people.

fuck shrinks. i even had 1 that was a so called 'coach'. he boasted about how he is "not a licensed therapist" and how therapists came to see him, but he sucked balls when it came to helping me with my issues. mainly because he never dealt with them himself.

Anonymous said...

I'm 52 years old and I get a shrink that is such a dumb ass that I know more about my illness than he does. He takes one look at me and says I couldn't possibly have schizophrenia. That doesn't give me any credit for all the hard work of not becoming a bag lady. He told me that Seroquel is not used to treat schizophrenia. Duh! The hell its not. My medical doctor knows more than he does. I told him I had been diagnosed with 2 types of schizophrenia when I was 28. He said there weren't different types of schizophrenia. God help me am I that sick that I imagined he was incompetent? After that I didn't really want to tell him what the voices in my head were saying. I just told him that they said "You're stupid." I did tell him that I have a running dialogue at times with two imaginary friends who enjoy my company or should I say vice versa. If you don't have a lot of friends it is okay. Sometimes you can make a friend or two who is like a leach. Wouldn't you rather watch an old t.v. show and let the characters keep you company. Those guys on Dragnet are the best. We've been busting a lot of bad guys. I'm a regular gumshoe. This doctor is supposed to be from S. America but he looks just like the Palestinian guy that used to work in the gas station. Anyway he specializes in so much stuff and does a lot of work with kids so I know he will screw their heads up for years to come. He rushed me through the assessment and then my friend said I was in there for only like 10 minutes. He had a young lady there who said enough that I knew she already read the chart. Then he's like do you mind if she's here. I know she's thinking what a bad doctor. Also read he specializes in some mumbo jumbo psychosymatic stuff which means he was messing with my head. But he shouldn't have told me to stop taking my medicine. He knows eventually I will kick someone's ass if I do. I am learning coping skills but I am nowhere near ready to wing it yet. Oh, they don't give a damn because it won't be them getting locked up in jail. The time before I dealt with the same "Behavioral Management" people, the counselor handed me over to her mother and she had me hang out with her. I went with her when she went to gamble. So when I tell people they are like you should have looked at their credentials; you should have known that's not right...damnit I'm the patient not the doctor but I guess its true "the inmates are running the assylum." And all the emphasis is on gun control and STILL not good mental health...that's because good mental health involves giving people hospital know spending money instead of wasting it on quakery. I think its an investment in the future. Anybody can get a gun especially in Chicago. But not everyone in Chicago can get a husband, a dad, or a job that pays the bills. I imagine they can't get good mental health care if they are poor either. People just need to remember that if you dish it out you have to be able to take it. I don't think anyone should shoot anyone else unless they know how bad it hurts. How could anyone do that to someone else? I just try to stay away from people as much as possible. Getting a diagnosis of schizophrenia is the emotional equivilant of a physical illness of Leprosy. That doctor can't tell me it went away. It is in remission because I remove myself from stressful situations. If I could deal with the stress I would have already been a financially successful person. I'm not lazy but so much goes on in my head its incredible.