Saturday, December 31, 2011

it's 7 minutes until 2012...

and i am one of the loneliest people out there. I got dont connect with nobody from my family. i feel so lonely... wow... sometimes it really gets to me and i think "does it even matter if i approach women or conquer my fears?" ok, lets say i do it and get a number and then there is a date.. then what? ill tell my date that i am 32, never had sex, afraid of people, dont go out or to parties, still live with my mama, trying to be an IT tech but cant get hired because have no experience? and whats the point? how much work i put it and will she really accept my insane circumstance or even myself?

i had a female co-worker that wanted to fuck me in Los Angeles when i was working and had my own spot. but the more she found out about me the more she kept asking the same phrase to me "why are you so weird?"... imagine if she really knew my world and my lack of life experience.. wow... i pushed her away as i do everyone...

2012... i really hope you will bring me happyness, success, power. strenght, self esteem, and thirst for life and living it to the fullest the way i want it.

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