Thursday, November 29, 2007

what the fuck is wrong with this planet???

i had such a severe headache not too long ago. thats one of my struggles in life actually, migraine headaches. it took me nearly a decade to figure out how to prevent them. if i dont eat healthy, headache, if i dont get enough sleep, headache, if i dont drink enough water, headache. it is mainly my left part of the forehead area. right around and inside my left eye. for the longest i thought something was wrong with my eyes because it feels like my eyes are hurting and not the head. the pain is right above and inside my eye and it feels like my veins are gonna pop, its like something poking me with needles inside of my head, this headache lasts anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour, sometimes more sometimes less. it is so severe that after the pain goes away ALL OF MY ENERGY IS DRAINED. its that bad.

i havent been getting enough sleep for the last few days, i just lay there for hours not being able to fall asleep. smoking weed helps me sleep but im not getting high cuz im in school, just waiting till its over. so you know one of them headaches kicks in and im like FUCK, NOT AGAIN!!!!!! im thinking "man, maybe i need food" so i go to cafeteria get me a buritto, eat a lil n the pain still there, it gets worse and worse. i look like shit, my eye is red, i look like im partly crying cuz tears are accumulating inside. i find a spot to sit in, there mustve been about 5 people around. i look like im suffering, really really suffering, holding my head, moving my body back and forth, moaning and shit, AND NO ONE CARES!!! people look, or they dont look, they doing their own thing or they talking to each other, and not one person even says "hey man are you ok?" shit! they either dont see, dont know, or too scared to make a connection.

see this is sort of thing makes me realize how fucked up this planet is. guys who shot up columbine and virginia tech were in a similar situation. i dont support those guys but they were hurting and what did people around them do? they either did not see, did not care, or were quick to make fun of them. how the fuck can you make fun of someone who is hurting? that really pisses me off. thats why in this society they are quick to either lock you away to some mental insitution/prison/jail, or they ignore you like everything is good cuz they too blind to realize what is going on. and then when stuff like virginia tech happens everyone is running around with their hands holding their heads "OMG, THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! HOW COULD WE LET THIS HAPPEN?" you dumb fuck, you never cared enough to reach out now you complaining cuz it backfired. maybe if you showed your concern before students were dropping like flies you couldve prevented the massacre.

my whole point is human beings are some fucked up creatures, it makes me kinda ashamed i am one of them sometimes. all the fucked up things they do to each other and then they have every excuse in the book to cover up their mistakes. all this fucked up shit humans are doing to animals, each other, and other nations/races/cultures makes me sick to my stomach. i cant even eat meet anymore after i seen how they torture the cows, chickens, and pigs before they slaughter them. sometimes i think this bad karma humans are putting out there is gonna come back to us and whipe us all from this planet, a big fucking commit is gonna land on this bitch and nuke us all into space.

maaaan the semester is almost over, i havent done SHIT for my homework, and im kinda thirsty so im gonna go drink my orange cream SOBE. this whole planet may be going to hell before we know it, but i got shit to do so fuck this computer lab and everybody in it. im outta here...

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