I feel like a complete useless shit. Somebody who is a waste, or crippled. Somebody who has an invisible duck tape over his mouth and is unable to say what he wants or feels. And my friend left me there this time, i really got into dancing, drank 1 bear and was a lil high and they started playing one hip hop song here the other hip hop song there. I was feeling the vibe and started dancing, then dancing more, warming up, but then they start playing stupid music man, and i just went in and out, that sort of phase. Dancing not dancing, i dont know. Then by the time i got the text message i was like damn, i better go before im late for Bart.
Then when i get to a bus stop i get texted that my friend brought someone home and wants me to "do him a favor" i was like WHERE THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO GO? anyway, i was gonna go catch a bus and then sit outside till they finish but he called me before even bus came told me they finished. I was vexed, its like i swear i feel like a 12 year old watching adults do their thing, and then wanting to talk to me about it how they do it when they do it and with whom they do it. I REALLY no i mean REALLY hate talking about it, thinking it, or hearing it.
I dont know, maybe clubs are really not my thing. Maybe i should just stick with day time socializing. At that club i had 1 girl all over me, she was drunk ill admit, but i had absolutely NOTHING to say to her, my mind was BLANK! i told her she got some moves and she started telling me how much she loves madona asking me what type of music i listen to. I dont know, i guess it stemmed from not going out on the regular and not approaching and talking, or maybe from not trying new things. Anyway, if there is an ugly girl that nobody wants her in a club i would not be able to get her home, its that bad. It's almost like censorship, i got this weird inability to assert myself.
I thought i can learn something from my friend but he said "i told you im not gonna socialize w/ anybody, i might be in love. what would you do if you went to a club being in love?" i dont know maybe its cuz im high right now but i felt like its the equivalent to asking a 2 year old baby "what would you do to your wife after you marry her?".
anyway, damn i feel like im just putting a bunch of random thoughts in and each paragraph doesnt make sense, ahaha. whatever, its me spizzy jizzy. um, the bouncer let me in for $9 even though they charged $10, haha i rule.
OMG I ALMOST FORGOT!!! when we were walking to the club downtown, this one cute sister walking with her mom the opposite way right. so i look at her and she is checking me out! like a quick up and down im checking you out look. then i keep looking at her as im walking and they passing me to my left, then i start smilng and she TURNS and looks at me!! OH SHIT, THAT WAS THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY! i managed to established eye contact and at least play the non-verbal game for once, damn. lol...
oh yeah and if you reading this and you got something bad to say? FUCK YOU! you dont like my blog? FUCK YOU! you gotta problem with the way i write it?? FUCK YOU!! anything else you got negative to contribute... FUUUUUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!!! FUCK YOU FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!
2 white fat chicks with a brother came in, and i leaned over and told one of them "both of you are fine as hell'. and if you got a problem with that then... FUCK YOU!!! BITCH!
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