being sick sucks

so on Sunday I had a fly fly into my left eye and i'm not sure if that was the cause but next day i got a little sick. then on tuesday i got so sick i thought i was going to die. i usually get sick that bad 1-3 years once. but outside of that i'm fine.

i was better wednesday but couldnt sleep all night and managed to get a few hours in just earlier. at times like these i question why im alive because being that sick is so painful, that i wish id be dead. but here i am still breathing and doing good.

i gotta plan though. im getting on a schedule where ill be going to bed and getting up at same time. no more slacking around. im taking charge of my life and my destiny. life... HERE I COME!

the GREATEST Meditation!

I just found the greatest sounds for meditation. Can you hear the breath?

This beats any meditation music I purchased on Amazon mp3s... almost..

I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

just got my free iPod nano + a Buddha statute

so I found out about the iPod nano (1st generation) Replacement Program (http://www.apple.com/support/ipodnano_replacement/), and sent in my old nano in for the replacement. I was really disappointed in apple when I found out that they were just going to replace my nano with the same exact OLD model. this is why I never liked apple and the way they do business.

so, today I get this letter saying that sometimes at their factory they run out of old models, and that they may send in the new version. I look in the box that came, AND IT IS THE NEW MODEL!

not only is it the new model, but turns out it is 8GB! haha! (my nano was only 4). that, and plus I finally found my first Buddha statute for my shrine! it is oh so awesome and even glows in the dark :)

I saw an Orb

I was working on colored flash cards on my photoshop, and was really focused.. then I see this bright white orb flying to the right at the corner of my eye. It was the most vivid Orb i ever seen. i seen orbs before but they weren't this vivid and this obvious.

it's 7 minutes until 2012...

and i am one of the loneliest people out there. I got dont connect with nobody from my family. i feel so lonely... wow... sometimes it really gets to me and i think "does it even matter if i approach women or conquer my fears?" ok, lets say i do it and get a number and then there is a date.. then what? ill tell my date that i am 32, never had sex, afraid of people, dont go out or to parties, still live with my mama, trying to be an IT tech but cant get hired because have no experience? and whats the point? how much work i put it and will she really accept my insane circumstance or even myself?

i had a female co-worker that wanted to fuck me in Los Angeles when i was working and had my own spot. but the more she found out about me the more she kept asking the same phrase to me "why are you so weird?"... imagine if she really knew my world and my lack of life experience.. wow... i pushed her away as i do everyone...

2012... i really hope you will bring me happyness, success, power. strenght, self esteem, and thirst for life and living it to the fullest the way i want it.

Limitless

This movie is AMAZING. it was so good I am going to watch it again tonight, and the 3rd time whenever I got time. 5/5 Stars! If you haven't seen Limitless, you are missing out.

so I lit up for the first time since the summer...

I thought what the heck, its 1 day away from chistmaass right... and then I stumble onto this..



he looks so much alike like the real Tim hitting a blunt. I swear, weed always brings me crazy things.