Tuesday, March 21, 2017

My situation

Today, I had a realization. I am living in a very similar environment as I was living when I was living in LA. Life is not as chaotic as it was back then, but it is still a big mess.

So I got back into playing World of Warcraft on a vanilla server. I hit 20 on Elysium

And Then I thought to myself, "there are too many people here, and it's hard to level." Plus, server went down every single day for almost 2 weeks. So, I rerolled on the less populated server-Zeth'Kur. I hit level 13

Then, after learning about all the drama on Elysium, I tried to make a suggestion. But then, I read in the suggestion section, that the staff would not even hear my suggestion. I wanted to suggest they create a separate 15x server. The staff said not to even bother asking for this, and that they will always be "true 1x Blizzlike server". I thought to myself "I can't take this anymore." I barely have any time, and any free time I have I end up spending in this game trying to level to 60. On top of that, blizzard could just come in and shut down the server at any moment, like they did Nostalrius. And all of those months if not years you spent into your character, would go down the toilet. So, again I rerolled on VanillaGaming, which is a much less populated server but at least they are 15x. So you spend 15 less time leveling and grinding. So, with the limited amount of time I have, I hit 60 within about 2 weeks

I played so much, that every free time I had I spent in this game. It got so bad, that tendons in my hands started to hurt. I was actually trying to recover from this, but playing this game made it 10 times worse. I'm officially on a one week sabbatical starting today from playing this game.

The realization that I had, was that if I keep doing what I'm doing, I will never recover from my real-life problems. I keep trying to escape my life, whether it's playing WoW, or having out of body experiences, I always end up being here in my body, miserable, lonely, and complaining about my circumstance.

I live in in-law, and sometimes all the walking that happens above me gets a little overwhelming. I keep trying to want to be left alone in peace. But today I realized that if that happens, I will always be poor. I will always live in cheap places, with noise problems, and ghetto people. Like my roommate for example. After she and her friends heard me listening to Trump speeches, as well as some Red Ice Radio interviews (I am a member), she and all the people that come by to visit her started to act really weird. She's Mexican. Instead of asking me or talking to me about Trump, she automatically put me in a box, judging me and looking down on me. These are the type of people I will always be around, unless I get off my ass and do something to change my life.

I even posted on the things that I can do to make lots of money, but all I do is watch these law of attraction videos fantasizing about the good life, instead of working hard to get there.

So, the realization today was that I have to create a Long term goal plan, write it down, and work every single day to achieve it. I want to start small. I really want to get a certificate this year. I'm thinking between a Mac, Network+ (I heard that you automatically get A+ -mine expired), or Windows 10. At the same time, I should start reading books that I always wanted to read. I have two books that have been laying around for two years. Plus, one Seth Book that I have been reading for almost one year! I need to find a way to create a plan where I read little by little everyday, instead of surfing the Internet and wasting my life in this dead end game.

For anyone that is still reading my blog... Wish me luck, because I sure as hell need it.

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