so I been watching tons of movies on DMT and Ayahuasca and lately came across this article. it's about a guy like me with social phobia and social anxiety experiencing reality from a whole other dimension so to speak... I really think that in the future ayahuasca will be used to treat all humans of all of the insanity that dwells inside of each of our heads. each individual with its own fears and limits that he places on himself.
Like many people it seems, social anxiety struck me in my late teens; probably around 17. In the two years since then I have struggled heavily with connecting with others, been actively afraid of others, and as a result, avoided contact with others.
I believe that to combat this malady, one must understand it fully. For me it revolved largely around a complete lack of self-confidence and hyper-sensitivity to criticism. I was constantly in fear of being criticised or mocked for various reasons (needless to say, this was completely in my mind, a delusion so to speak). I created an image of myself as a loser, and thus, became one.
A few months ago something switched in my head. I attribute this to two interconnected experiences. The first was a consumption of the hallucinogenic, DMT (Dimethyltryptamine). Usually I would completely condone drug use. I have myself been reckless with recreational drugs and alcohol in the past, and I would not recommend it to anyone suffering from social anxiety. Cannabis especially seemed to worsen my chronic symptons. However, my experience with DMT was enlightening, to say the least. As I stated previously, it was almost like it triggered a switch in my head.
In the past I had considered individuals purely as "others" and not as individuals. It would be interesting to know if anyone else groups other humans into one large category such as I did. DMT revealed to me the base form of life at an almost atomic level. Life is based on the "interaction of things", not matter how insignificant. This is fundamental. Thus, I began to consider others as people exactly like myself, with their flaws, faults and insecurities. Why should my insecuries be so special that I should disregard and avoid people as a result?
My DMT experience was combined, a few weeks later, with a solo trip to mainland Europe. In many ways, this exemplified what DMT had taught me. Solo travel taught me that my own problems are insignificant in the greater scheme of things and that obsessing over them is utterly pointless. I also met a lot of nice people and almost learnt all over again how to interact with people.
Since my return I have put myself out socially to absolute maximum. The Jim Carrey "Yes Man" is really great inspiration to someone suffering from social anxiety. Say yes, because why not? If you keep saying yes people will keep approaching you and inviting you to social events. Okay, it might be difficult to start and you might even consider it a disaster but it is still human interaction. The absolute worse thing to do is to pretend that being solitary is combating your illness. Whatever you may do or try to alleviate your symptoms the only real cure to this disorder is to be social. Nothing else will help in the long run. By being actively social for the first time in years I have rebuilt old, damaged friendships (damaged largely as a result of my seclusion and delusional attitude), began to enjoy a thriving social life, and even had my first sexual experience (which has rocketed my self-confidence so very much). I used to be almost scared of sexual relations, but it really is the most natural thing in the world, wonderfully fun, and I really hope I can build on that experience with other members of the opposite sex.
By no means am I saying that I am cured. There is still a long way to go. I may (god forbid) even lapse but I am intent not to let that happen. I have, for the first time in my life, grabbed life by the balls, so to speak. You must remember that enjoying life isn't a privilege for a select few. Anyone, and I mean anyone can have a fulfilling life. It is not shut off to you, you are shutting yourself off from it.
I just wanted to share this with you all, and I hope someone gets something out of it.
-Mysterious Dr D