it really tripped me out when Trojanman linked me that blog. First of all, I was reading it not knowing who the dude is or what he done. So I was reading it with a complete open mind compared to most people who already placed him in a box after hearing the news. Second, I'm not defending his actions or taking his side, but was so surprised at how similar we are in life. We are so similar it is scary.
The media is really funny btw. I googled him after reading his blog not fully understanding what exactly he is talking about, and one news station did a report on him saying how he made racist remarks towards black men in his first entries. Racist remakes? WHERE?!?!?! Some of these morons need to be dumped on an island somewhere far away from our society for always twisting the truth and lying out of their asses.
It's a fucked up thing he did and I don't support his way of going out with guns blazing, but here is how George Sodini is me and I am George Sodini. People like us exist everywhere in the world, and the most fucked up thing is... it takes one extreme case like this one to wake the public up and make them see that we are out there just living out our (I wouldn't even call it life) existence. We are deprived of the most basic things in life that every human being desires especially men. I am talking about things like meaningful relationships with friends, sex, love, and just someone to care about who also cares for us. Many of these politicians, cops, etc.. the so called "normal people" all have these basic human needs so they move onto bigger, and more advanced things to acquire in life.
Our parents are fucked up. There is no nicer way of saying this but our parents have issues. They, however, do not take care of their issues before deciding on having children. And then the next thing you know "we" come out. We are raised into dysfunctional families with our fathers never talking to us directly or teaching us anything about life. Hell, they don't even tell us anything about themselves. So we grow up learning this same behavior and mirror it when interacting with other people. You know, the "son to father talk"? I am 29 years old now and I have never had one of those.
This isn't going to come out the way I planned but who cares.. if you're interested, keep reading.
Women problems. I have had women problems all my life. A big portion of women have treated me like shit for whatever reason. I have never understood women or their games, and there wasn't anyone I could talk to about this or get any feedback from. So I have always been clueless on the subject. I am not ugly and actually think I'm good looking but just don't know how to talk to women. This is another common issue we, the George Sodinis, have.
Our life never goes the way we want it to. We just suck at creating our realities. We don't know a single thing about life, and we have no idea on how to set goals and follow them. This creates a lot of anger, and resentment towards the people who have it good, especially women. Now for me personally, I get REALLY angry when seeing some dude with finest girls by his side and then he gives me this "fuck you! you have it better then me" look when HE is the one who is actually a thousand steps beyond me, but too blind to realize it. Even though I'm kinda like a pussy and don't really know how to fight, it makes me want to fuck him up really badly and embarrass him in front of everybody. Whooping that arrogant prick's ass is like an automatic fantasy that puts a smile on my face. But it's all just a fantasy like all of my life dreams.
Our dads are clueless fucks who have not a single clue on how to raise young boys into healthy minded men. Our dads always shove us aside when it's time to sit down and have a serious talk, or have any sort of life lessons, or even opening up chit chatting about each others experiences. They have no clue that this is something you MUST do in order to teach a kid about relationships, healthy relationships that is. It all starts with your father I believe, and it ends with the people you interact with. My father was pretty much the same way Sodini describes his. A useless sperm donor? Yep, pretty much. He'd just sit there watching tv laughing out loud at his favorite shows. We never got personal, we never talked about anything outside of what cartoon is funny and what movie is good to watch. Until this day I don't even know my dad, who he is, or what he is really like. Same goes for him not knowing a single thing about me.
We learn basic shit at an older age. You know, the things that some people learn in diapers? George said it best "I am learning basics by trial and error in my 40s, followed by discuragement. Seems odd, but thats true." Yep. This man speaks the truth.
We have a really hard time forming meaningful relationships. Let's take a look at my family.
Mother - worked 2 jobs when I was a kid trying to put food on the table.. put me in an after school program (I was raised in a single mother household with no siblings).
Father - has an IQ of a toothpaste. I drove 8 hours to tell him he was a shitty dad and he didn't even understand me or what I was trying to say. He thought it was my "opinion". Dude kind of disappeared when we moved to a different city for about 15 years, and now he wants to be my father. So wait.. you ignore me for all this time not having a clue on how to even talk to me over the phone and now you want us to be a happy family? Yep. That's my father.
Cousins - not even worth mentioning but here it goes. They all say how much they want to be close to me, but those are just words. Their actions speak a different language. They say one thing, but do another.
There is a lot more but ehh.. who cares... Long story short, we have been conditioned not to have any sort of meaningful relationships within our families, and then it just unfolds that way when we go out into the real world. When it's time to make friends, get a girlfriend, etc.. we are as clueless as our parents or as our families made us out to be.
I totally agree with Sodini about today's religion. It is mostly bullshit. It is used to manipulate people and instill fear into them. Some of these fundamentalist Christians today will make you believe that doing anything spiritual that is non-Christian is a sin, and you are going to hell and will burn there for eternity unless you follow their path. The path that has been forced down the throats of the African slaves. It's really sad. But that's why I don't get involved with all them nuts. I find my own path. I don't want to hear a Christian tell me because I do Martial Arts or practice Meditation I am going to hell or doing something "evil". Muslims execute their women because they raise their hand against their husbands. when in actuality they stand up for themselves when are being beaten and/or raped. They make their women wear veils and treat them like they are slaves. Fucking idiots. They should really be smacked the fuck up a few times. Maybe they'll come to their senses and realize just how brainwashed they are by their religion. But I doubt it. They're too brainwashed to function on their own.
What I find interesting though is how so many criminals, some of which have killed many people in their life, either become Christian or Muslim. And I mean ESPECIALLY Muslim. So wait... you get to kill some people and then convert to Islam or confess your sins as a Christian and then you get to go to Heaven and I get to go to hell because I didn't do that last part? Hmmm... I don't know. Sounds like some bullshit to me.
Seeing couples everywhere I go makes me envious inside. When I see young couples in public it makes me so envious to the point where I don't even want to go outside of my room. I just want to sit here all my life sticking my face into my computer. The less I see the world outside of my room the better I feel about my existence. I guess it's a reality check each time. They are there living, fucking, laughing, enjoying themselves, and I am here and have been here alone, by myself, without anyone to love, hold, or even talk to. This is why I like being alone. No one is there to remind me of how fucked up my life is, so I don't think about it when I'm by myself 99% of the time.
Dating situation. Sad as hell. I don't even want to date. Once women would find out I got no friends, no life, and nothing going on who would stick around? Hopeless.
Most of us aren't really the violent type. George Sodinis are a minority. They are like the messengers; because they wake some people up about what is happening with people like us. I guess you can call them heroes since it is through them that others get educated about us instead of always pushing us aside or not even seeing we exist. Now the FBI is onto this guy. HA! This only shows that they only give a fuck about you if you did some crazy, or outrageous shit. Before his death he was a NOBODY! Now me, personally, I would never do what he did. And what he did was his own personal choice. But he mentioned that his blog could maybe benefit others. I believe it will. It will show some men they aren't alone. It will make them see there are others like them. I just hope they won't go out the way he did.
Many people will argue and call him a ruthless killer, a psycho, or whatever. And I mean I somewhat agree. What he did was wrong. But many times real change comes from pain, suffering, and death. All of those idiots who are protesting against the war no matter where, when, and for what reason, make me laugh. The war sucks but how many men died in the Revolutionary War, which helped to form the United States of America that you all love and cherish? 25,000. And this dude George Sodini offs 3. I bet the entire news media went nuts wanting to hang him or fry his nuts. That stupid bitch Nancy Grace is probably running the updates on Sodini daily. "Today on Nancy Grace. What underwear George Sodini was wearing while he was committing his gruesome, and bloody murders". What a sad, psychotic slut. I don't even watch the news but I bet that's what she airs every day. I heard one woman killed herself because Grace talked down on her or said she was a bad mother or something stupid like that. She really should be taken off the air.
Conclusion
Things that are missing in most of the George Sodinis' lives is spirituality. This is a big problem in my opinion. We are spiritual beings and if we don't find something to keep us growing and evolving spiritually, we become lost.
But he said it best, "Some were meant to walk a lonely path in life".
http://georgesodini.com/20090804.htm
I guess that's it. I think I haven't left anything out. If I did I'll edit this post later.
-The End.
4 comments:
this shit was deep yo... it cutted hard fam. to me, all of this shit from him, the va tech shooter, all the people that go crazy have a fucking common cause. and that common cause 98% of the world is NOT paying attention to because we live in a sociopathic society. that's trill talk. folks like to believe that they're helpful to each other, because they spend time with somebody or is present that they're around, contributing such as our fathers when they're NOT.. everybody wants something in return BUT they give little and if they give little, they're doing it not thinking about why they're doing what they're doing. it just suits THEM. it makes THEM feel good inside, not the next person.
you, him and me have the same fucking problem yo. we seem not to know how to communicate in society terms yo. you dig? we go with the program but at the same time, the program don't work for us. we try to figure out what the fuck is wrong and correct it, but shit doesn't fucking work. it's sad yo... and the funny thing is, people say that it's OUR fault. that's true BUT @ the same time, when you try to cater to people all the fucking time and they're saying fuck you right but.. then what can you do then. for real... and then when folks take the natural reaction of getting mad with those that do that shit to them to the point where it leads to violence because honestly, violence is like the last resort to a problem when you tried everything.. they wanna look at us crazy.
man... they don't understand that we TRY yo.. and according to them, unless you got something to show for your struggle, you haven't tried and you can't say shit. that's why i don't even bother with those fucking psychologists, mental health experts because they are waiting for people like me and you to come to them since we're the outcast and shit when it comes to life. they woulda said that george sodini was crazy and didn't try to do shit when all they would have done is diagnose him with something he didn't have or give him some fucking pills that would have made him five times worse.
mayne... i don't condone what dude did either but if there's like incidents where people are just going off because they're sick and tired of trying to be accepted in society for who they are and trying to have the same shit like how everybody else is and you got people throwing shit @ them... then what they think is going to happen.
great post. i respect the honesty but blaming your parents is some weak shit.
^^Thanks. And I wasn't blaming my parents, but just making a point that people like us all have dysfunctional families who raise their children in a very similar way. Hence, why all of us are so much alike.
I'm 100 percent with you. I'm glad I am not the only one who feels this way.
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