I Ching

so i bought an I Ching book and went to Chinatown last night to buy I Ching coins. i heard about it years ago and guess it took me a while to catch up after hearing about it over and over. but here it is my first question.

as i was getting ready to prepare for school i was like... man i really dont wanna go. i dont wanna go see strangers and sit around them. ill be all nervous and too scared to say hi to those around me. so then i ask "the oracle" a question like... what advice can you give me on this whole going to school and dealing with people? i flip the coins as it's directed in the book and it pointed to the Hexigram 51, with lines 7, 8, 6, 9, 6, 8. now the advice that i was given was something to the likes of... when you are in a moment of stress or unpleasant events, meditate. life brings people "shocks" to teach them a lesson and you need to stop resisting these shocks and instead open up and don't indulge into feeding your ego... or something like that.

and it's pretty much on point. i always resist almost everything life brings me. im a nervous person. the nervousness have always been part of me probably since birth. i think i inherited that nervousness from my father. and the more things happened to me the more nervous i got until the PTSD came and made my nervousness into paranoia. i am so paranoid that today in class when i had to come up and grab a silibus from the teacher's desk i was so nervous being in the spotlight, that i grabbed the only paper i saw that resembles it and as i got back to my seat it turned out it was a copy of a blank questioner paper i turned in.

my ego says "don't talk to anybody and youll feel calm" but sometimes i wanna talk to people and do it at the wrong time cuz i'm a little socially retarded and not good at reading social situations like when it's time to ask a person something or when it's time to be quiet. so i'm quiet most of the time. so i mean a lot of the things "the oracle" told me were on point. im just a lil bit confused cuz i don't have enough knowledge or life experience or whatever.

and when i was taking black studies classes we had a teacher who was real deep into the black American struggle and the African awareness of the world and the Universe. and in a Yoruba tradition they have a very similar process of talking to spirits just like Chinese use I Ching. they ask a question and flip coins, the answer would be depending on the coins being heads or tails and how many, etc..

i got a lot of questions and no answers. i guess "the oracle", the Universe, God, whatever you wanna call it will talk back to me through this book. I Ching is gonna be my best friend for a while...