i like this song right here

im just going over bet.com's onblast videos. this is real tight right here..



i may come back to edit for more videos

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahhahahahahahahhaaha this is the most dumbest, simplistic, idiotic, stupid, 5 year old logic song ever hahahaaha this guy is hilarious



ok im done with 31-35

panick attack

i had a panic attack today in class. it started out as this guy behind me kept shaking my chair, then it was when the teacher said something funny and i laughed. then i started thinking all these negative thoughts like if people think bad about me cuz i laughed, and some other stuff i dont remember. i was relaxed until this moment and then the panic attack started. i was sitting there feeling tingles inside of me but i wasn't shaking or looking paranoid. it wasnt that bad though, only about 20-30%. some days i remember id be sitting there in class feeling like my life is on the line.

Im on a mission to get an A in my summer class

i got B+, B-, and C+ on my report card. got my ass off probation and now have a 2.01. im proud of myself but i cant stop now. i wanna get an A in the summer and get a 4.0.

*goes to study*

I am really fucked up

ok when i say really fucked up i mean really fucked up. took about 3(6) hits from my self made bong, and i am flying. damn this is it right here. this is where most stoners/potheads look for--the high stage.

shiiiiiiiiit its like im flowing and i feel relaxed.. i could be having a nightmare but im not cuz i just feel good and shit. um... ................................ fddd d damn i dont know what to think. i forgot to say what i wanted to say but........ i think i was thinking abouuuuuuuuuuut theeee uhhhhhhhhhhhh... so i seriously got it. the high stage, like the ultimate high stage. yeaaaaaaaaaahhhh thats it. i am there right now and you know im gonna get even further in a minute.

i usually dont get this high, this is like one of the times i have gone there. cuz i take a hit and chill 10 mins, etc.. and that only gets me high enough to enjoy it but not to actually flow. dam.nn.... but yeah i was about to say that i only do this cuz tomorrow is first day of summer school and i just wanna go out with a bang.

soo yeah. thats all i wanted to say and i wasnt even about to say it cuz im here playing WOW and i just fell the fuck 3 stories down. was laughing like crazy when i did that shit cuz i was like why the fuck i do that shit for? haha

so anyway, yeah im gonna go to res myself and go back playing that shit. yeah!

its Friday night and im High as fuck!!

haha. man i been getting fucked up for the last 2 or 3 days. had a 1 day break though, other then that im just enjoying my fucking break, get high and play wow. The game is so smooth. i got a rogue and its hard as fuck to get into raids its disgusting. The stealth ability is the shit and all but there are too many rogues in the game. everybody wanna be a rogue so when you start raiding its overfilled with them and almost impossible to get into raids some days. fuck!!! but im working on my priest right now. the best shit about a priest is that once you 70...... EVERYBODY IS GONNA BE ON YOUR DICK! every raid priest is the most important, along with a tank. but for tank you gotta raid like crazy and get all t6 gear with armor up your ass. it takes time and hard work to become a tank. but a priest? lmfao, once you 70 everywhere you go people will want you in their raid. priests in high demand plus nobody wants to be them. so once im 70 all the fucking raid leader will be on my dick begging me to join. can't wait!

damn i had a little of Purple Urkle left but i went and got some more weed. i buy the cheapest shit there is, $10 a gram haha. it still fucks me up real good. i used to buy the most expensive but i think its a waste of money especially if you a beginner. im fucked up on this White Russian, it kind looks all frail and shit but its good. im about to smoke some more..

*hits bong*
*goes back to playing WoW*

its 5am in this bitch and im staying up the whole night

i woke up at 2am cuz im trying to do this cycle since i got like 1 week left before the summer school starts. i stayed up till like 5 am three days ago, then till 10 the morning after, and yesterday i was up till 5pm. went to bed and woke my ass up with an alarm clock set to 2am. didnt get my lazy ass up till around 3 cuz i just like to lay in bed fantasizing about life and the shit i never had wishing that i did. if i got time to waste this is what i do, lay in a fucking bed fantasizing. no motivation to get up, nothing to do if i have a day off, just lay there fantasizing. i barely get out to socialize with people so i fantasize and escape inside my head.

on a side note i love firefox, i used to hate it but i now love it. i fucked with opera before and thought it was the best web browser till i started using firefox and if it wasn't for this spell check my journal entries would've been looking mad crappy with misspelled words every sentence. im a real bad speller.

anyway, im in this bitch just chilling. i love staying up, i love the night, it gives me a good feeling. maybe its cuz i got nothing to do during the day so i stay up on purpose to have some sort of accomplishment or just to get away from the shitty reality i have every time there is sun outside, so i escape into the night and feel good even doing nothing. i dont know, maybe im just like a vampire.


im done with reading trojanman's blog till march 2007. his new entries kinda freak me out with all that 'ill kill everybody and make you suffer, put you in a wheal chair' talk. but his old entries where he talks about his problems i relate to. i dont know, i just care for people i guess. id rather sacrifice my whole life and be a nobody then do any of that killing or torture shit he talks about. but i think he just uses that to channel his anger at something or somebody.

ahh whatever. im thinking of disabling comments or even changing my blog's address. i got faggots on my shit constantly. one keeps writing about his homo fantasies, other people just hate. and it could be the same person writing all that shit pretending to be other people. if its some retarded shit i delete it cuz you motha fuckers dont run shit in here. this is my blog and you in my world bitch. i run you here like *insert any example of a top dog running his followers* <--- im realy bad at this.

anyway im checking out. fuck you if you on here talking shit. fuck you if you on my nuts cuz you got nothing better to do. fuck you if you got no life so you come here to relate to everything i say only to hate and make negative comments cuz you bored. you are the scum of this planet and should be castrated.

Making Excuses for Talking to Women

Today i was on the train going to Oakland for my dentist appointment, and as i get on all the seats were taken so i stood not too far away from this girl. She glanced at me when i wasnt looking and i did the same to her a few moments later. so at some point she was kinda trying to get my attention and i looked directly at her until she looked away. then i was like oh shit oh shit this is it. and then i did what i always do in situations like this, i started making excuses. the excuse this time was "i dont wanna be late for my appointment". now i could've gotten off the train with her, got her #, and caught the next one. and in my opinion anything would've worked... ANYTHING! hi, hey, excuse me i just wanted to come up to you and say hi, etc.. but i didn't get off.

fear funs me. it runs me like a little bitch. it got me by the balls and i let it control me without doing a damn thing. this girl was fine. i mean she looked cute as hell and had a body like Nivea. She was either Filipino or Chinese. proper attire, sexy as hell showing off her shoulders. and moments like this dont come too often for me because i have a really bad intuition about things. many times my intuition tells me the opposite of what's really going on. so that's another excuse i give myself to not do anything. oh and another major excuse about a situation like this would be "i dont wanna get off the train on the station thats not mine". like i dont wanna be going somewhere im not going. it sucks but i always do this.

its not that bad though beause in the past i would beat myself up over this. in fact, id beat myself up so bad right now id be feeling suicidal. but i feel fine, i dont hate myself or blame myself for not talking to her. what's the point? it's bad enough already, and im just gonna make it worse.

if i talked to women who were as much interested in me as i was in them, i would've probably already had a few girlfriends in my life. but unfortunately that's not the case.