this Music feeds my Soul

the amount of suffering a certain tribe put German people through, who soon will become minority in their own land... is beyond some peoples' comprehension. once you see this truth, your life will never be the same. I don't know why, but that's all I keep thinking about when listening to this song.

why isn't there more masterpieces like this?




Paganism for life! I was always a pagan, but more of a mutt. I got my Goddess from Egypt. she's been with me for quiet some time. I think it's obvious who she is when looking at my blog... I really need more help, but I feel like I need to take action. She's waiting for me to do this. But it's so hard, especially when you're conditioned to be a certain way. anyway, this song is amazing. even if you don't care about what I just said. there needs to be more traditional music like this of all people. everyone should get in touch with their roots. and white people shouldn't be demonized because they're trying to do it, like everyone else.

Up All Night in a Hotel Room

So I just woke a few hours ago, at around 4pm. Me and my new Tranny friend decided to get away in a hotel for the night.

The first plan was to get away for the whole weekend to Half Moon Bay. She never been there, and said she was open. But then when she never got back to me by Thursday, I started to feel like she is too busy doing her escort job than wanting to hang out. I started thinking about all of my past experiences, and that she is probably like everyone else. Then I thought it’s over between us, as people tend to leave me over time. So, I didn’t text her until I heard from her on Friday. She said she’s free that night, but the next day she was going to be busy.

I wanted to get together with her and tell her that this isn’t working out, and that I don’t feel safe doing stuff like rimming her when she escorts for a living. But when we met up, her vibe was just amazing! I completely forgot that she is such a good person.

I decided to get us a local hotel room near the beach.

Hanging out with her was possibly one of the greatest nights of my life. At first, we were like ‘okay, we’ll stay up till 2, or 3’. Then before we knew it, we’re up till 5 am. Just laying there holding each other, watching videos, movies, etc.. talking about all sorts of things most people would find weird, and outrageous.

We talked about names and how both of us changed ours, and how much of your personality could change due to you changing your name. I am actually looking to change mine again after having this conversation. I told her about my Egyptian Goddess, and she told me about her Aztec God. Spirit Animals, ayahuasca, etc.. just a lot of unconventional stuff.

I realized how challenging her life is. She has to pay rent, health insurance, and also work her regular job outside of doing her escort services. She is not like a street hooker at all, takes great care of herself, eats healthy, and even meditates. I kinda regretted taking a few hits from her joint after getting nervous. I realize more and more that weed is just not for me, or at least I need to learn how to be calm when I smoke it.

The whole night was just amazing. I realized that I made a real friend this time. She is a loner, like me, and is very open. I mean, I meet some open-minded people. But she is just unlike anyone I’ve ever met, and has a completely non-judgmental personality about life, sex, etc.. It’s rare I meet someone like her. She wants to do a full surgery and get a pussy. I said that everything about her is beautiful, and she shouldn’t change a thing. It’s amazing how some people just have body features that aren’t of their gender. Her ass has this natural, feminine, and curvy shape. Even she has ass implants, she told me that she has always had the curves. It’s just unbelievable. If you’d see her walking around half naked, you’d think she’s a girl. I was surprised to hear that when she was a stripper in Tijuana, she was making a $1,000 per night with men thinking she's a real woman.

Everything about that night was showing me good signs, including numerology. We’re walking past hotel rooms, and see room 222, going to a gas station to get some water; the gas price says 3.33. Looking at her phone clock and it shows 4:44. Then we walking back to our hotel room, and see triple numbers AGAIN. She says to me, “something is happening right now”… This wasn’t like any other night. We want to get together again soon. Not sure when that will be, but hopefully soon.

Seeing this makes me really not Like Cops

What are these Police Officers accomplishing by preying on the weak?

I totally identify with this kid. He has issues, a total loner with no friends, and no one to even talk to. Now here comes an undercover cop pretending to be his friend. Starts begging him for drugs. The kid is like 'oh man... I actually have a friend!? I will do anything to keep him'. Goes out and does something he would never do, and gets busted. WTF is this shit? I gotta say, I had a teacher from the South Bronx in my Criminal Justice classes back in college. And he said this about cops after being one for 30 years of his life. "Cops are NOT your friends! If you get arrested, DON'T TALK TO THEM! Know your rights and get a lawyer. Until you do, DO NOT TALK TO POLICE." Boy was he right. Cops could be the biggest criminals just to get you busted, and have them look good on record. If they need to bust someone and blame him with a crime, they will pick you in a heartbeat if you are dumb enough to give up your rights and talk with them.

I gotta say, though. The federal government today reminds me of the Europeans who colonized Americas. They had their own beliefs, and anyone with different ways of life were wiped out off the face of the earth. The federal government still looks at people who smoke marijuana as scum. It's like they still do to people what the Europeans were doing to the natives of this land back in the day. "Accept our god, or die." They still ruin peoples lives today. And this is just one tiny little case. Imagine how much damage they do to people on the grand scale.

when will the Abuse of the Indigenous People end?

 it really makes me sad and angry seeing this sort of abuse STILL happen today. It's almost as if the rapings, and the killings wasn't enough when the Americas were colonized. But the government time and time again finds ways to fuck with the natives. The illegal oil drilling in Ecuador WITHOUT the consent of the natives that live there, the dam being built in Panama, and now the dam being built in Brazil. Every time this happens, the only people that suffer and are misplaced from their homes and their environment, in which they live in harmony not hurting anyone, are the indigenous people. And the only thing people can say is 'it's better to power 50,000 people, than to have 500 live on a land where a dam could be'. When these same misplaced families will most likely be working all day, every day, in jobs that NO ONE wants, for shit pay, living in large families cramped up in small apartments just to survive in our world they know nothing about.

I have a hard time getting a full time job with benefits that will help me get my own place, and I have a college degree. What type of job, or survival skills could these natives get when they are pushed out of their home jungles, and into big cities? I don't even want to think about it.

Our governments do nothing but lie, cheat, and pollute the land we live on by drilling oil, and dumping left over chemicals in rivers. Which poison fish, which we eventually consume. That's not to mention all the pollution that is released from driving our cars in cities across the world. And what makes me even more mad, is how so many ignorant fucks talk about 'these natives are backwards, and are primitive'. When WE are the primitive men who are KILLING ourselves, and the natives in the process. A bunch of cave monkeys we are, thinking we know anything because we got iPhones and telescopes, always looking to MAXIMIZE profit to squeeze that dollar out of every tree we cut down and every animal we raise, only to slaughter it and treat it like property. And don't get me started on all the illegal poaching of animals, some of which are already extinct.

living in this society makes me sick to my stomach sometimes. I live around a bunch of young people who all they want is to have fun at other peoples expense. Fucking parasites. Reminds me of that scene from The Beach, when Leanardo De Caprio realized that most humans are leeches. Realest scene in the movie.