DAMN! ive been having a shitty mood for the last 3 days and the only thing that helps me is weed, and i never get high before i leave home cuz im afraid im gonna say or do some stupid sh!t.
this is hell, i feel like if i go out and do Mission 1 one day and feel good, the next day my mood turns back to negative and i stay quiet, the longer i stay quiet the less i want to talk to anyone. Thats basically how i am and been this way all my life.
my friend wore my clothes a few days back and he told me he got into a fight with his friends, was mad at everyone and was like "your clothes got a lot of negative energy", and maybe thats what it is. maybe when i have a good day i come home all happy and shit, then the next day i wear my clothes and this dark force owns me like its been owning me all my life. i hate it, i really really hate it. its like the closest thing to be living in hell, im always mad, always angry, always unhappy, always pissed at people being together and having fun, not being able to have fun cuz i dont know how. its like having that feeling after your best friend just backstabbed you, i feel that almost daily and dont know how to escape it. i care what people think and dont know how to change that, smoking weed is cool but how long will that last?
shit i dont know, this negativity is kicking my ass as always. i guess it does that cuz i let it, im too afraid and too reluctant to fight it cuz of apathy that is running down my veins.
its really disgusting.
3 comments:
man... chill fam. you don't wanna start thinking like that. trust me, i used to think that wearing and doing certain things changed me. unless you wanna have ocd in your life or compulsive behaviors, i suggest you shake that mentality off. your clothes don't make you. you make the clothes.
and dun, i think the weed is kind of displacing you out of reality, man. i think you need to lay off that shit for awhile and stop smoking it on the daily tip. its NOT healthy. you said that you feel depressed fam and shit. my thing is whats the difference between taking pills and getting high. either way, you still gonna feel the same.
no offence but u sound like a moron that thinks too much & worries about stupid shit
man... chill fam. you don't wanna start thinking like that. trust me, i used to think that wearing and doing certain things changed me. unless you wanna have ocd in your life or compulsive behaviors, i suggest you shake that mentality off. your clothes don't make you. you make the clothes.
^^yeah man i think you right. im super stitious like that. i even read some feng shui books, bought some feng shui tools from this chinese feng shui practitioner cuz i was thinking something is wrong with the spirits in my living space but my life hasnt really changed that much. its all me, and unless i change and my way of thinking ill always look for excuses for why my life sucks so much.
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