I announce DEATH to Negativity!!!!!!!

As of today, 12/05/07, i announce DEATH to the negativity that is running, as well as RUINING, my life.

Anything that i like, think, look up to, or even ENJOY is negative.

• My favorite show-I love new york=Negative, ignorant, hood rat bullshit.

• My favorite drama-The Wire=Negative, ignorant poison, black people killing each other.

• My favorite music-East Coast Hip-Hop=Negative hood shit, mindless, Thug life glamorization combined with impressive lyrics, stupid ignorant garbage.

• My favorite artist-Masta Ace=Negative, talk about negativity in the hood combined with impressive philosophy, same ol' hood shit just from the reality NEGATIVE aspect of it.

• My favorite thing to look up to-Black Ghetto Struggle=Negative, poison, i look up to thugs, and feel their pain, always make excuses for them that black people been conditioned this way since slavery, and never look down on them because i almost want to be them, have their fame, have the sex, the money, the respect they get. I even think that it's better to live a short life but actually acquire all the things (money, sex, respect, etc..) then live an entire life in fear like i do and be somewhat safe.

• My favorite thing to do-Criticize=Negative opinions of people or things, finding faults in people or being mad at them for having things.

• My favorite radio show-Star & Buc Wild=Negative, ignorant, hood shit, people talking down on each other.

• My favorite blog-Trojanman's=Negative (not to put you on the spot but its true), your blog is just as (if not more then) negative as mine.

i can go on and on, but i got to change this. until i change and switch to living a POSITIVE life, no matter how many women i talk to, no matter how many times i go clubbing, i will never get anywhere. It is no wonder i get sooooooooooooo much rejection from people. Long time ago when i was trying my hardest to chat with everybody when I went clubbing id talk to close to 20 people per night, and close to 18 turn my ass down or give me the "go away" look. I have this negative energy field which is so strong that once i bring myself into somebody else's presence they feel it instantly, and reject it without even uttering a word! Then i get mad "why are they such fucking assholes blah blah blah" Seriously, this has GOT to stop. Yes, that means changing my way of thinking, changing the shows i watch on TV, changing from THINKING all the negative things about myself, about others, about what if this happen, what if that happens, etc..

This shit is hard because i am so comfortable that i almost LOVE the negativity. It's like i feel GOOD doing, feeling, and thinking it. Shit, no wonder i don't have any friends if i met somebody like me i wouldn't wanna be their friend neither.

My New Year's resolution-find positive things to fill my life with. Positive music, positive movies, positive friends, positive tv shows, positive lifestyle. This is my first New Year's resolution ever! Paz, remember we talked about "the movement", and then i said ill write out a format? Well, this is the first step. Until we get this down into our lives, into our brains, and into our souls, there is no so called movement.

I am dead serious. I either change this or I will die being negative, and wonder why there is no change in my life.

The place is here, the time is now, POSITIVITY here I come...