I saw my dad and told him he was a shitty father

I went to visit my cousin that i havent seen in 3 years, he is like the opposite of me, a tough guy, knows many people, got all the connections. That guy is a pot head so we been getting high on the regular at his place.

My cousin took me to see my dad in LA this sunday the 23rd. It was a trip seeing my father first time in 10 years, he looks kinda old, like he aged, and he is still the same way he was before. I told him everything, all of my life problems, all the things i been going through and dealing with as a result of his shitty upbringing. His mom, my grandma was really concerned cuz i was shaking when talking to him. I was nervous and looked all fucked up, like life hasnt been looking out the best for me. That guy is clueless, he didnt even understand me considering he doesnt speak very good English. It had to be translated to him and shit, and even then i dont think he understood anything. Me and my cousin basically spent around 30 minutes there and left.

I just got a call from him last night when i was high as fuck, he on the phone telling me they love me and want me to be part of their life, he asking me if i wanna move to LA, Im like WELL WTF DO YOU WANT? WHAT DO YOU WANT OUT OF ME ONCE IM THERE? hes like "to talk" im like i really dont wanna talk to you right now i feel like im talking to a little kid and im not a kid anymore so dont call me for another month.

I am REALLY mad at him, i mean REALLY REALLY mad at him. I dont wanna see his face, dont wanna hear his voice, dude is a fucking stranger to me and i told him that. All those years he took me places when i was a kid it was like hanging out with a stranger. Many of my life problems stem from his upbringing. But i didnt do this to blame him, i just did it for me cuz i needed to let this off my chest. I honestly dont think he can contribute anything to my life, and dont want him in my world. He wants to have a relationship but i dont have anymore patience for having a relationship in which im a kid and hes a dad who doesnt know what to do or say around me.

Im really contemplating on what to do right now, telling him to FUCK OFF or still keep in touch by phone cuz aint no way im going there to see him so that hell wanna go to the movies. He wants to go to the movies and have a son/dad relationship after he played a role of a living spirit who doesnt do anything other then be there physically. Wanna go to the movies? FUCK YOU! dumb ass, what are you thinking? im not a 12 year old anymore, you cant take me to Disneyland and make me wear shorts saying that if i dont we wont go. Im 28 you dumb piece of shit! If you never knew how to be a dad why have you ever had me? stupid. Now you telling me that i got all these family members but yet none of them ever called or even bothered to tell me happy birthday unless YOU happened to be at their place and made them get on the phone to be a good sport, BITCH PLEASE! fuck you and yo so-called fatherhood that didnt exist, thanx for passing to me all of your life problems and not being a man enough to take care of them your own self.


I kinda feel good though, im reconnected with my 2 cousins and shit. They are some cool peoples, and if i chose not to have a relationship with my dad at least i got some sort of family members to chill with. I never had that sort of thing, and im glad i do now.