Thursday, November 22, 2007

Im tired............................

First off i wanna give a shout out to Trojanman and NunUthadan, the only two people who come through and show me love in this bitch.

I am so tired of everything right about now. if i had a wish i would find me a bitch that makes my dick as hard as a rock as well as stimulates my mind, and get the fuck away from EVERYONE, go live somewhere in the mountains for at least 6 months. damn if i could only get away like that id feel so good.

im tired of school, im tired of being alone, im tired of my roomate and his friend that came over the weekend, im tired of them being in my room, im tired of being soft, im tired of being gullable, im tired of always saying the wrong thing, im tired of offending people, im tired of not being socially intelligent, im tired of homework, im tired of not getting enough sleep, im tired of being skinny, im tired of being scared, im tired of living, im tired of being negative, im tired of having bad thoughts of beating people up, im tired of watching everyone have their moment in life that changes them from being an unhappy miserable piece of shit to a happy newborn self and im tired of me never having my moment that sets me free, im tired being undecisive, im tired of hating confrontations, im tired of never standing up for myself, im tired of not being assertive, im tired of morons, im tired of ignorant idiots, im tired of narrow minded people, im tired of selfish pieces of shits that think only of themselves, im tired of me always thinking about me, im tired of being alone, im tired of being selfish at times, im tired of not understanding things, simple things, im tired of playing a role of a victim, im tired of caring what others think about me, im tired of people who never say nothing when i greet them, im tired of people never keeping their word, im tired of my piece of shit computer being slow and weird, im tired of video games, im tired of having apathy, im tired of feeling depressed, im tired of peoples bullshit, im tired of peoples lies, im tired of my life coach that piece of shit is NOT no life coach, im tired of him not giving a fuck about me yet acting like he does, im tired of doing nothing, im tired of being sexually frustrated, im tired of being sexually confused, im tired of being confused about almost every thing in life, im tired of fear, im tired of anger, im tired of my family and them never seeing me or who i am, im tired of people who judge me before i have a chance to speak, im tired of never being heard, im tired of being treated like a kid, im tired of not having confidence, im tired of not having self respect, im tired of crying, im tired of not caring, im tired of caring, im just fucking sick and tired, of being sick and motha fucking tired. im tired... of million other things i cant list or dont remember to list right now. im also tired of never knowing anything, not knowing should i go left or should i go right, tired of always taking the wrong path, tired of not learning from my own mistakes, tired of feeling like i need someone to take care of me, tired of feeling like i cant survive on my own. this shit can go on forever but i am really really tired...

4 comments:

itskrissy said...

I was watching this movie, called Stranger than Fiction, where this dude got up every morning and did the same thing every day for years. No relationships, no girls,no pets, no excitement, no family interfering, just the same old routine over and over.

I'm starting to think my life is just like his...the same old routine, having nothing ever go my way.

SP said...

what is that movie called?

i guess im afraid to bring somebody new into my life cuz once they see this routine im living, which is exactly what you talking about, theyll run away.

itskrissy said...

Stranger than Fiction with Will Ferrell...basically he's a character in a book, and in the book he lives a very secluded and systematic life, then finally a little luck starts to go his way when he finds out he's going to die soon.

I might be making the movie seem a little more dramatic, but that's the way I viewed it; My personal association.

Sometimes shit like that happens to me...something good happens and I think everything is going to be good from then on out, but quickly something bad happens that pulls me right back down to Earth.

Thanks for the shout out.

Paz said...

powerful thread. you said everything fam. everything. :thumbsup: