i am so fucking pissed right now. after my class im walking to the library and there is this Samoan girl walking with her friend, she looking at me. i look away then look back she still looking. then im right behind her and when we go in she tells her friend something, she turns around, looks at me, turns back then leaves the Samoan girl by herself. and im thinking "should i go say hi? is this a proper thing to do? ive never done this before. not like this." then as i walked to the bathroom i came out looking if shes around. went to the mall to get some orange chicken. couldnt stop thinking about it the whole time and now im pissed. shit!
all these rules im creating for myself on how to live and socialize, you know rules like FUCK FEAR! and some other stuff, im not even applying them cuz i think too damn much! DAMN IM SO FUCKING MAD!
and i dont even like Samoan girls you know, they all kinda odd looking, but this girl was different... thick ass like a black girl, thick thighs and legs like a black girl, whole body like a black girl. a tomboy type of girl but proper, you know like proper jeans, the way she wears em, proper snickers, proper everything, nice hair cut and her face was ok. cuz honestly, i dont care about looks ONLY IF YOU PROPER! i love girls like that man, i was just listening to LL's "you and me" with kelly price on my ipod, and that shit drives me crazy. id just be listening to love songs like these fantasizing about being with girls like this. its like i have a hole in my chest and a girl like i described above is the only one who can fill it. just us hanging out, being together, chilling, talking, fucking, whatever. man......... i guess its that feeling ive always lacked, maybe its love, i dont know. but i need that shit. i need it now!
i mean ALL I HAD TO DO WAS COME UP TO HER, TAP HER SHOULDER AND SAY "HEY, I SAW YOU AND I JUST WANTED TO SAY HI". THATS IT!!! SHIT!! DAMN!!! i think too much with shit like "ah man, what if shes this mean bitch" or "what if her and i dont click at all. what if she got her head up her ass". and it sux cuz the more i think the less im able to pick up on these clues when girls want me to talk to them, and even if i pick up on them i START THINKING! fucking dumb ass!!!!!!! JUST DO IT YOU FUCKING DUMB ASS AND STOP THINKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DUMB SHIT!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK FUCK FUCK. whatever, im smart, i got intellect, and lots of intelligence. just cuz im shy and never had any male role models dont make me dumb, im just really really mad right now.
that is all
2 comments:
well.. don't bug out over it. it ain't like she's the last chick in the world. mayne, you should go to a club and talk with mad chicks and shit and see whats up. i'm SURE you can get a chick especially since you at a university and all.
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