every fucking weekend it's the same shit. I stay home all day. I may go out to buy food or clothes, but outside of that, I am stuck in my own routine of doing absolutely nothing. you know.. I actually enjoy weekdays a lot more. yes, I still have no friends to hang out with and yes I am still miserable, but at least work keeps me occupied and sane. I feel like i am in prison. damn life is hard. dont know how to break this pattern.
my biggest fear is to be stuck like this living with fear unto my 50s and 60s. with all my family gone, and me not having anyone left, who will look out for me? I stopped going out again cuz I dont really approach women 98% of the time when I do. I just get drunk and high. oh well. idk what to say. I'll just exist in this dimension of misery and hate every minute of it. Don't know how to do anything else. I've never actually lived this life. just existed.
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