2:44am right now and I been trying to sleep since 12.. I quit my job, moved back home to San Fran to my moms, and things been looking better until a few days ago. I still had a real hard time sleeping, but I somehow managed to sleep by laying there for 8 extra hours. I would squeeze like a few hours by waking up 5 times so it would be like 7 total. But then a few days ago I had to go enroll into a hospital, and it fucked shit up for me. I had to wake up early, so had like 3-4 hours of sleep.. then they told me to come back due to me not having enough docs, i come back today and the fucking bitch tells me I have to come back again cuz I am missing another doc.. I MEAN LIKE WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!?????????????? if these people only knew my situation. fuck... now my heart hurts yet again and i hear it bump hard...
i really dont know whats gonna happen to me but i been really mad at my cousin. this SELFISH BITCH got me out to LA, I helped her with buying a TV.. she promised me that shed pay me back in full... when it came time to do it.. she got into a fight with me and didnt pay back all the money i let her borrow... then 2 months later she kicks me out after having drama and more drama in the house in which it was impossible to sleep... fast forward 1 year and 8 months... I am as fucked up as ever. havent slept properly ever since and been living in hell.. and all for what? FOR $1,000. is 1g worth polluting your family members life? LIKE DAMN!!!!!!!!!!! what a selfish bitch that cousin is.. and the part about her wanting to be close to me... another selfish thought "I" wanna be close to you.. FUCK YOU!
I swear to GOD i got some of the most dysfunctional family members in this world. I really hope I will find a good circle of friends who understand me, give me emotional support, and there for me whenever shit doesnt flow the right way. this blog entry didnt even come out the way i wanted it to but who cares. more later... if im still alive
2 comments:
damn...... some of those doctors are full of shit, fam. explain your doctor situation though. hopefully nothing serious is wrong with your heart yo because it sounds like you have a heart problem.
and your cousin is fucked up as all hell yo. she was just using you for your dough and shit. when it came time to pay that shit back, she got all grimey with you and shit. you still smoking weed?
she was mainly using me for rent money. the tv came out of the blue, she asked for help, i hesitated and told her what may happen.. she said "no, no, no, i am not like that".. i helped, she did exactly what i thought she would do. so in the end i got played for 2 months of rent and 2 years of no sleep and stress.
and weed.. man... i smoked it a few times this week and it seems like it's a waste of time. good thing is it helps me to fall asleep, but once i wake up im fucked no matter if i smoke again. i dont know... maybe i should smoke it more cuz i didnt sleep AT ALL tonight man. im real concerned with my health at this point in my life more than ever.
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