another fucking Headache

I really don't understand why I go through so much pain. And not just isolation and loneliness, emotion pain or whatever, but PHYSICAL PAIN.

earlier today around 10:30am I had this headache from hell AT WORK! so I was like WTFFFFFFF. I eat healthy, check. I drink lots of water... check, I slept that night, check.. WTF YOU WANT FROM ME!!!!!!!!!! I went into the bathroom trying to ask my guides wtf you put me through so much pain. I mean SHIT!!! I talk to my spirit guides before every meditation session and it's like.. I ask for a lot of things and I'm appreciative for all the things I already have but if there was some way I could communicate with them to get rid of these headaches... man..... I was in the bathroom for 20 mins holding my head while taking a shit. I mean seriously... I feel like I'm being tortured when these headaches hit me.

My co-worker said it could be dairy products though cuz her friend had a similar problem so I'm gonna lay off cream cheese for a while and all the other dairies like cheese or whatever. I'm out this bitch. gonna go meditate then sleep... Finally burn some candles and some incense. Haven't done a proper meditation in about a week because of me being sick. It's like food to me.. I NEED IT!!!!!!!!!!

my CPU is fried

PC kept freezing and freezing, I made some posts on some forums and the long story short my CPU is fried. Ordered a new one already from ebay. $26 and another guy told me he can send me one for free that's even faster than the one I ordered. So let's see what happens. I had to underclock mine so I can run my PC without it shutting off.

I even went to the store and got some Thermal Paste thinking it would solve my freezes but no. CPU just died on me but I guess they don't completely fail, but only when you run them at their full potential speed. I don't know. This my first time having problems with this.

Oh and I'm almost done with my next book so look forward to the Review very soon. That, AND I'm starting a new one right after. But this next book is just fascinating to me and not so hard to internalize.. been wanting to read it for a really long time but with school and everything else just didn't have time. I hope it's really good like its index was.

I'm Sick & my PC is Broke

I'm at the lowest point in my life atm. I have pink eye, fungus all over my legs, waist, arms, and my dick. I was shook yesterday because it almost looked like an open wound on my head. I was scared of losing my dick for real. But it SEEMS like it's getting better. (Trojanman, if you reading this, how long did it take you to get rid of this? Cuz I'm on week 2 and it SEEMS like it's getting better but I still don't know because it's the same shit every day) And to top it all off I got a fever right now.

My stupid Manager got sick and the dumb bitch came in to work NEXT DAY talking about "I don't have a cold". Yeah bitch, you don't have a cold TODAY but you did yesterday. Anyone who is sick should KEEP THEIR ASS HOME FOR A MINIMUM 3 DAYS. Now half of the department is sick including me. That got me so mad. I barely had energy to work. It's gonna be a long and painful weekend for me. Funny I got a degree but I make almost minimum wage. And with all the taxes they cutting for November and December in California (they cutting 10% instead of 8 for these 2 months because of economic crisis), I make around $1,200 per month.. LMAO... funny shit ain't it? It's tough, and I thank the Universe for bringing me this job because some people DON'T GOT ANY JOBS! This is why I always knew Obama was full of shit. He is just all TALK, and try to convince people with his bullshit tactics of "Change" and "Hope". GTFO of here with that bullshit.

But anyway, my PC keeps crashing. I don't know if it will crash at any moment as I'm typing this. It could be the video card because it's crap (though powerful), it could be my Power Supply or it COULD be my Hard Drive that already died on me once. I was gonna install my old Video Card but I'll try to replace my HDD and see if that works. If it keeps crashing, I'll try video card next. If it fucks up then I guess its a Power Supply.

I'm gonna do 3 forms right now and burn my body. If I'm not tired after that I'll try my best to do Golden Bell and get my ass in a Horse Stand for 20 mins. This Kung Fu is AMAZING. I was sick as fuck one time back when I used to train religiously, went to my school, did 20 forms, and the next day the cold just left my system.


I'm out. Using safe mode to blog this. I'll do some forms, replace some parts and run tests, take a shower, and probably watch a movie. I WAS gonna play some WoW cuz I barely have time for it now but fuck it. I can't be sitting any longer and need to lay down and watch a movie or something.

The New Britney Spears song is HOT!

Just heard this on a radio. This is the type of song that makes me wanna DANCE. Too bad I'm so self conscious.

Pink Eye again, and Rash

my health is really bad right now. First it was a mysterious blood clot, now I got a pink eye today because my hair is long now, and when they're long they get in my face. I don't know exactly where it came from but this morning I KNEW I had a pink eye for some reason. I really need to stop scratching my eyes even with the back of my thumbs. But my eyes always itch because of my allergies!! Urgh...

And to top it off I had a rash since I lived the last month at my cousin's place. That's for 2 and a half months. Her spot was dirty as hell, flies everywhere in the kitchen, flies going into my room if I have light in it, and I got this rash there. At first it was small and just in a few spots. Now it's all over my legs, stomach, and my ass! I even got this fungus (what the doc said) on my dick! Right on the head my of penis. I been using a cream for a month but it was anti-itching so it didn't help for shit. Now I been using doc's proscribed one for 1 week and not sure if it's getting any better. I guess I'll have to wait and see and make sure I shower once a day. Yeah, my ass gets lazy and sometimes showers like once every 3 days. I got good hygiene so I could get away with it. I guess not anymore. Doc said make sure to keep the body clean at all times.

Gonna go take a shower right now.

I almost got into a Car Accident

this last Friday I was in a fast lane in traffic when going home. it was around 6pm, dark as fuck, and I had to switch lanes to exit. Then right when I was exiting the last lane i ALMOST hit the car in front of me, and the car behind me almost hit me. The dude behind me was FLASHING FLASHING FLASHING the far light on me I was scared as fuck!

Man... tomorrow I'll be extremely careful when driving home from work and switching lanes.

Drama at work - The Fat Bitch story

so this fat bitch who is training me at work just got into major trouble today. It was so funny, I was trying REALLY hard not to laugh after-wards.

So my position is THE most complicated position in the entire building of our company. The fat bitch and all the others around me are under the same title, but they are more experienced. The Taco Bell Eating buffalo has 1 year of experience under her belt. I got 1 week, going on week 2. Every time the Sumo Wrestler trains me she gets irritated with my repetitive questions, but the thing is THERE IS SO MUCH INFO COMING AT ME BILLION MILES PER HOUR! Plus, she never printed out the VISUAL instructions for me. I had to spend a long time making them myself. Everybody knows this, and doesn't care for my simplistic, and repetitive questions but the Walrus that sits next to me acts all high and mighty, showing off her knowledge, think I'm dumb. I ask her a closed ended question, but the Kentucky Fried Chicken eater will NEVER give me a yes or no. She will always confuse me by throwing in MORE, AND MORE redundant crap that I DON'T need to hear. And she is rude as fuck.

Now I have always had a hard time defending myself ESPECIALLY in social situations. This is because in social settings you have to a) know that you are being disrespected or talked down on. and this isn't just 'fuck you'. it's more subtle things that are being thrown at you INDIRECTLY, and b) know HOW to counter the attack by not being mean, rude, or disrespectful back ESPECIALLY in a job that you just got. I have a hard time detecting both of these but especially the latter. If I were to stand up for myself, I wouldn't know HOW to do it verbally. So I stay silent. Now this fat Orangutan acted like a biatch once again today. Then the guy a few desks away went "ease up a lil bit there [Chicken Wing eating elephant], he is new. How is he supposed to know all this stuff when all you do is talk down on him? I'M SERIOUS!" and the dude went at it. Then my supervisors had her in the big Lady BOSS's room, then the Walrus disappeared from sight for about 10 minutes (crying in a bathroom LMFAOOOOX1293783743874), then they had me in the BIG BOSS's room. I met the BOSS, she was SUPER NICE, I told her the Elephant of India always gets mad at me when I'm asking questions and never gives me direct answers. So now I don't EVER have to talk to the Alien creature with 300 lbs of flesh that is anywhere but on her ass (she is hideous let me tell you), and I thank GOD for that.

Man... when I got back to my desk she was there sobbing... with a tissue. I was trying REALLY hard not to laugh but a few smiles came outta me. That shit had my insides laughing for a good minute and I'm still laughing as I'm typing this. The Fried Chicken eater likes to show off her knowledge and make me look stupid because I only been there 1 week, yet she got in trouble, and then went crying like a lil bitch in a bathroom. She was all quiet for the rest of the day. This Whale is a funny creature.



To be continued...