I ate meat today

So, I did something I haven't done in YEARS. I ate red meat, grilled steak burrito at Chipotle to be exact. And here is why. I for some strange reason has been developing these soars. They feel like my skin is getting thinned out or how should I say this, thinning out(?) at the thumbs. First it was my right thumb. I thought, wth? Maybe I bruised? Then today I noticed it's both thumbs. Is it because I am always closing at my job and gotta count the money at cash registers? Hmmm... not sure. I have been working for over a year doing that and this problem has never occurred. So, I thought 'what is it?' I even asked my body, my cells, all the being that live inside of me "Why am I having this problem? is something wrong? what is it?" Then I thought that maybe it's my diet. I have been first a vegetarian, then a vegan, and now I became a pesceterian. But I haven't touched red meat, or even chicken in years. So, I thought it is time my body gets some of it.

The one main thing I notice about eating red meat especially, is that my body becomes stronger, much much stronger. When I am doing my daily martial art forms, I become more solid and 'tough' so to speak. But I dislike and don't eat red meat because of how disgusting, inhumane, and wrong all the poor cows are treated, and slaughtered in America without any sort of respect for their life. They get treated so harshly, tortured on the "ORGANIC" DAIRY farms, so that us humans can enjoy their fresh whole milk, and their meat. And I have also witnessed with how little respect these animals get treated at restaurants. Fresh meat, chicken, and even fish are thrown away by the dozens because someone didn't like its taste. FRESH FOOD GETS THROWN OUT BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE DON'T LIKE ITS TASTE!!! and this is what I help to support and fuel everytime I pay for a meal with meat? FUCK NO! So, I take a stand to never eat it. But my body is acting strange and yet I am healthy, I feel like it is deteriorating.

Now, I also am not sure maybe it is because I have been focusing on having Astral Projections, OBEs, Out of Body Experiences, whatever you call them. And have had one at least once per week. Am I having too many per month? Which would be strange because some people are having them every night and yet they have no problems with thumbs or any other body parts. I have had one guy told me he travels every night and it's normal for him.

I will see in a few days if my thumbs get better. if so, I just need some meat. if not, hmmm... I don't know then. I'll find out though.

But I didn't feel like I liked meat today when I ate that burrito. I really thought I would miss it and feel AMAZING eating it. But it was... okay. nothing special. I guess I am so used to having a clear system, that red meat didn't even fit right. Interesting how we don't really need something that we think we need because it tastes good. You can break any addiction or pleasure you are used to if you really put your mind to.