I feel like a wasted semen that's been dumped into my mother's womb by my no good of a father, and I eventually came out into this world.
What did I do today? absolutely NOTHING! I sat here on my computer jerking off to porn ALL FUCKING DAY. the most I've accomplished was got my old clothes out of my closet and dumped it in the living room, since my mom will be gone in 2 weeks. She left for 3 weeks, but that was 1 week ago. I had to write up an e-mail I told her I would and I haven't even done that! I really hope I will do so within a few days. I also clipped my finger nails. These 2 things I could've done in 15 minutes, but it took me all day. Wtf is wrong with me? Why am I such a fucking loser? I am 33 years fucking old, and have a Bachelors degree. But I can't even get any sort of meaningful job because I am so simple minded. I dont have no fucking career. I got nothing. Just a piece of paper called a resume with the words BS on it to say I graduated.
I feel like I am a waste of life right now. FUCK! funny how 10 years ago at 23 my goals were the following, 1) get a job, 2) get my own place, 3) get a car, 4) get a girl. so far, all i got was a fucking car. thats it. 10 fucking years and i cant even accomlpish the most basic human needs. no fucking wonder guys like me go Sodini on motha fuckers. who wouldnt? but I know I wont do that sort of shit. I just cant take it anymore of having such a pathetic, and an APATHIC existance. I am so tired of sitting in a chair doing nothing. I'll go lay down and watch a movie. after I will sit down and write my letter. gotta finish it at least by tomorrow so I'll have 2 more weeks to do my things.
4 comments:
is it possible that you suffer from clinical depression? don't underestimate depression, man. it can manifest itself in your life where you don't have the energy or desire to do simple things that you want to do.
don't be so down on yourself. at least you're making some progress & you're a bit wiser than before. i think constant self pity is much worse than being a 33yo without a career/girl
"1) get a job, 2) get my own place, 3) get a car, 4) get a girl"
one down, three to go.
yo i think getting laid will solve about 90% of your problems. you're one of those dudes that overthinks too much about bs
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