Friends

let me ask you this. what do you consider 'friends'? are friends some people you got #s of from all your work place? are friends you always go hang out and party with and use them as wing men? are friends people you talk on the phone with? what about when things went BAD? who were your friends that came through?

honest to say, I don't have any friends. i know people at work. i have talked to everyone. more to some than the others, but long story short I came up to them and got their names. I know a few girls that are all over the place in different departments. now i can mess with them or at least ask one or 2 out, but so far i am keeping it cool. i dont know the rules of the workplace, and for god knows why I should stay away from girls there. now for reasons are obvious. i am a 33 year old virgin, no friends, VERY few family members, live with my mom, and hang out with myself 95% of my free time. so imagine me and a girl hit it off, then its time to meet 'me'-the dude outside of work. when she finds out about all this, it wouldnt be good. a strange chick i can dump and never see her again. but girls at work? hmm.. i dont know. different floors maybe, but the girl on my flood i really like i am afraid to make my move. point being is, part of me having no friends is that i am a true loner. i have been a loner for so long, it's hard for me NOT be one. I don't connect that well with groups of people. more on individual level though, but in a group? FUCK NO! sports, which team won, who is the next president? I DONT GIVE A FUCK, ALL OF YOU STFU ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!! so yeah, i find most people shallow as fuck and into 95% of shit i want nothing to do with. i dont give a fuck about bars or clubs, i dont care for yankees or giants. you wanna discuss meditation? reincarnation, out of body experiences, ancient civilizations, aliens, dreams? let's do this. but people in large groups i dont want nothing to do with. i even talk about shallow shit with 1 or 2 coworkers. but this other department we got, all they do is talk about sports, clubs, etc etc...

i met one guy coworker who got transferred last week into my department. he first appeared to be like me. even though i am white and he is bacl, he is very quiet, doesnt socialize too much and keeps to himself. he acts socially awkward? so bad, I had a weird time talking to him, ME, a guy who used to be just as bad even not worse than that. but then i learn that been with women but he from Florida and he says back there women are upftont, tell you if theyll cheat on you, if they wanna be with you, etc.. so here women are stuck the fuck up. so yeah, i just find it funny that even though you may think someone is like you, there is always something different about them. i guess we are all different. i was gonna write more shit but i am high and gonna go hit that pipe once again.

i wanted to release stress after seeing that big sports group left work together and that shy new dude went with them tlaking. i was thinking like 'DAMN! i guess he IS sort of like that. he is just mostly quiet'. anyway, learn something new every day. it made me feel that i really AM different. i really feel like i am from a different planet, of a different solar system. that planet could also be in higher dimensions, if there is such thing as planets. point being, i am really cuirious, fascinated, and needful of this knowledge of spirit world, and all its rules, reincarnation, past lifes. i almost want to see the BIG picture. outside of all this bullshit politics that is used to manipulate people like puppets, and propaganda in the news.

now i also hear that in 2012, dec. 21 that is when things will change. they will 'shift' so to speak. dimensional shift from 4d to 5d, and for some a world filled with war and chaos. it depends on where you're at mentally and spiritually. don't quote me on this but this is something that i keep hearing from different people like public speakers and youtubers. but it's definetly something to think about. im gonna go take a few more hits from my pipe.

peace god