Amur Leopard Conservation - Please Donate

I would really appreciate if you donate to this conservation. PLEASE HELP TO SAVE AMUR LEOPARD!!! Remember, what you give, will come back to you. Law of Karma. Thanks! http://www.amur-leopard.org/index.php?pg=donate

Amur Leopard

wtf are people doing to the planet? I dont get this shit. There is about 20 to 30 Amur Leopards left in the world, and the whole incident where some dumb ass Russian beat a female Amur Leopard to death before he shot her in the tail back in 2007 made these Leopards even more endangered because she didn't have chance to raise cubs. humans make me sick sometimes to my fucking stomach. WHY??? i mean men poach them for money is one thing, but doing this for fun? shit! men who poach them are like fucking drug dealers poisoning their land by killing off life for profit. but killing a leopard for fun??? whoever killed her should have a maximum penalty of death through getting raped by a Horse. oh man, I remember a link to the video on sohh where that guy died after a horse stuck his dick inside of him cuz he was into beastiality. what a dumb ass... but that guy, should be him and him should be that guy.

so I don't know what is gonna happen. I hope 2012 will bring some good changes and I want to one day go out and help these amazing cats in the wild first hand. I think that is my passion in life, one of it anyway.


fucking blogger wont let me post the video but here it is anyway. FUCK GOOGLE!!!!!!!!!!
http://vimeo.com/1873708


isnt he beautiful?

Leopard cub

1 of the Worst Days of my life

so today was one of the worst days of my life. I got a new facebook friend, from my country of all places. but in the end the days just sucked because of obvious reasons.

I get fired from my new job for reasons unknown. I got a few ideas but even my manager told me the store owner was vague and he didnt understand exactly why he is upset with me. the guy who said he doesnt need me anymore just went MIA without notifying me I wont be working this week. I cancelled my interview because I thought we are still good for this Thursday. so not only did I lose my job, I also lost my interview. that was more of a shock to me because common!!! at least let me know what is happening so I keep my plans? anyway, the CEO still likes me and said I am a good guy but if there isnt any work at other stores, there is nothing he could do. But said he will keep me in mind and I am gonna help him for 1 day opening up the store this week. at least something good came out of it.

I will call the other guy and ask him why. I want at least some clarification and maybe there was a misunderstanding. I already know why he is upset with me but I think he misunderstood me when I said something on the phone to him. he must've mistook my statement as a totally different one and it wasnt what I meant. either way. i am gonna talk to him and ask him to give me feedback so that I could improve on the future jobs. I know it wasnt me calling the girl cute. I mean it was one of the things, but he acted like he understood me when I said i wont do it anymore. and he even verbalized that it's okay. anyway, i guess its the acculumation of things. but he was wrong for just disappearing like that and I had lost my interview as well as the job. that was the thing that fucked me up the most.

now the absolute WORST thing that happened to me today, was that I forgot my mom's b/d. there was a get together party. I remembered mom's b/d the day before. but all this shit that happened. i had to go to Berkeley just to find out I am fired, then the appointment for the interview being cancelled and then everything just went blank. like i was lost in translation writing the train back home like... wtf just happened? completely blanked out and thought it's just like any other party.

come out into the kitchen to cards laying around with my mom's name on it. OMG!!!!!!!! that was another shock of the day... or night. it was almost 12 midnight. talked with my mom about this and told her the whole truth. she understood it completely. thank god! i got a lot of other things lined up and i am just overwhelmed with life right now, in a good way. i just didnt expect to forget my mom's b/d. this never happened to me before in my life! first time for everything i guess...

Brazilian Girl

so, long story short i got laid off at my old internship (which was fucking horrible. THANK YOU FOR LAYING ME OFF!) and was working my 2nd day at this new place. yesterday these 2 girls walked in. I was like DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN! 1 of them looked so different. They were speaking spanish, or so it seemed so i was like oh okay.. lots of latinos around here.. then I find out they are from Brazil. I'm like wow... it makes sense. one girl, I will call her Flavor, was soooooooooooooooooooooooo cute. i was nervous as hell, but i still managed to talk to them both for a little while. then Flavor mentioned something about coming back again. her friend was eye balling me but she was young and skinny. now Flavor was more like that Brazilian chick in the video Paz posted on his blog about a year ago. The one where she was in a glass container that kept filling up water revealing her big HUMUNGUS ASS every time she got an answer wrong. HER ASS WAS THAT AMAZING! if that chick in the video is 9.5, this girl in the store is about an 8.5.

So today I see her outside talking on her cell... alone, without her friend. right away i got nervous. my fear kicked in right away. the good thing was my supervisor wasnt in the store. it was just me and my coworker who is training me. she walks in as we are helping this one girl already. I tell her 'hi, we will be right with you :)'. she smiles and says okay. then as i step away.. i'm like 'im gonna do this now. FUCK IT!' i been practicing last night and it is show time... i step back towards her direction as she is standing across the counter "hey, i think you are really cute"... her: ..... what? :| me: I think you are really cute... her: blank face like *wtf?* at this point im thinking 'fuck, she didnt understand me or doesnt know what cute means' me: you understand what im saying? cute! :) her:... thank you! :|

haha.. i step away smiling and then after a few minutes me and my co-worker go in the back and with his lips without making a noise "DONT DO THAT!"... then afterwards i talked to her just a little bit. it was hard.. i was nervous but i came down by A LOT by telling her she is cute. if i didnt i would be a nerve wreck the whole time. my hands shaking, i can barely breath, my heart pounding... so after they left my coworker was like "dont do that! you're not supposed to flirt with girls here." i was like maaan, that SUCKS!!! cuz im thinking like dude.. thats what im trying to do right now and i feel GREAT! so, my coworker continues.. "they'll write up a bad review on yelp. one time one person wrote up a bad review that there was a cup there on the counter". we talked about it and stuff. he tells me "you gotta be cool. dont catch her off guard like that". but when i asked him wtf am i supposed to do he was like... "it depends on the situation, get to know her first. blah blah" like a typical guy who would never be able to explain on how to talk to women to a guy who is new at it. meh.. i still think he is a cool guy though. either way, i am proud of my self. SHE IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CUTE! and im glad i told her that. every time i tell a woman what i feel about her, i grow a little. every time i dont say nothing to a woman i am attracted to, i feel like a part of me dies.

i wanna see what heppens because i know shell be back a few more times. but im just not sure if it will be the days i work since i work part time. if it is though, i am sort of in a loss for words. she knows i like her. i caught her off guard. she is really clear when i look at her face and in her eyes, and i love it! (i am not dating no reptilian alien like the last chick i dated. fuck that shit. i wouldnt even bone a girl like that. cant even go for more than 5 seconds without blinking excessively or rolling her eyes at me) either way, i am not sure about this whole 'get to know her first, while youre working' thing my co-worker is suggesting and he wont tell me how or give me details. so ill just small talk with her and make convo about accessaries she is wearing and compliment on them. if not, it's all good in the hood. i once again faced my fears and told a woman i am attracted to that i am attracted to her. I AM THE GREATEST MAN ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

if anything else happens with this Brazilian FLAVA, part 2 is coming... stay tuned bitches :)

just got Yelle's CDs...

...not too long ago. I LOVE YELLE! here are my favorite songs

my Date with the Filipino girl...

so FINALLY I had a date with the girl I approached. she flaked on me 4 times. she wants to reschedule, then she is sick, then she wants to reschedule again, then she gotta work late... omfg.. i was like "i was waiting for you to text me 'i cant make it at 8, lets do it at 9".. she laughed.. that was the highlight of my date, sadly.

this date was like a typical first date. we talked for a while, i asked all the things i wanted to ask her, and she kept on talking to fill in awkward gaps of silence. she is just like i read her. very down to earth, very sweat, and has a warm personality. the only thing i really lied to her about was that i had 3 relationships, which is somewhat true. but not really. me being 32, that was my 3rd date. 3rd date... aint that some shit... at 32.....

i felt really down and fragile at the end cuz i was like dang... i got a long way to go in this dating game and with women in general. we do have some things in common, like we both dont watch tv, and we both like nature and stuff. but other then that the date was mostly depressing, at least on my part. she got a big family, and siblings. i told her i got none and very distant from all my family members, which is nothing but the truth. wtf else was i supposed to say? so yeah, like i said. i got  a long way to go.

will i call her again? probably not. if she wont call me, i wont call her. thats just the way it is. i get really withdrawn from people once i tell them about myself. whats really interesting is that she doesnt even care if i live with my moms "its okay, its good you stay with her. otherwise she'd be living alone". dang she is so sweat. even when i bore her with my depressing ass life with my dysfunctional family, she still didnt judge me or thought i was an utter loser like so many women would do in this western society.

anyway, thats the verdict. but i do feel better. one thing was that i was a NERVEWRECK before the date. thinking about it all day. then the 2 hours before the date my PTSD was through the roof. i had such a huge panic attack, but once she arrived i felt much better after talking to her and fear went away. she brought her aunte with her. i was like WTF? is this gonna be a date with her and her aunte? i should've said "HEYYYYYYYYY! I GET 2 DATES AT ONCE!!! COOOOOL!!!!!!!!!" but i was kinda suprirsed and didnt know what to say. just said hi, lol.. then her aunte left. sometimes i'm on but when i dont expect stuff or never dealt with a situation i am off and go inward, like i did for the most of the day.

another thing i really dont like is, why do people roll their eyes? are they alien? are they reptilian? this girl did that. in fact, she did that when i said hi to her on the train. like their eyes are open, but they roll. like when you roll your eyes in the back of your head like "oh GOD!" it's the same thing but they do it subconciously, and not so over dramatic. i feel like there is another being inside of them and its communicating through them. it's weird and creepy. wtf is wrong with people? i think they are alien or have someone else there and not know it. anyway, thats it i guess.

i feel good at the end. walking from work on my way to the date i was like "DANG! i am actually creating my reality." which is unheard of. i usually just float on a current and let it take me wherever life takes me. i never usually try to stear and move where i want in life. i am proud of myself no matter how down i felt after the date or even now. i will keep moving towards self improvement, one step at a time.