I feel like I don't exist.

I feel like I'm a fucking nobody.
I got no connections.
I don't know people, EVEN MY FAMILY MEMBERS!
my whole life I been raised away from my family and creating an identity where everything is in the distance and shit.
all the life is in the distance but i can't touch it and interact with it... because it is in the fucking distance.
none of my cousins were brought around me to have us mingling and shit. our parents kept us apart, and especially these other fucking "elite" bitches that treat you that you only see them when they LET you. some of these... are my family members.
I feel unwanted. Like my family members wouldnt even chew me let alone spit me out... BECAUSE IM NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO CHEW!
I dont know.. all lost and shit.
I dont know who I am and what wtf im supposed to do in life.
I play WoW.
I work (THANK GOD!!!)
I get high with my roomate
Life is BULLSHIT!
I need more, lots of it. Eventually I really hope, pray, and visualize inside my mind as I go in life that I'm getting more and more money. Then I visualize once I got money, I can date bitches, and theyll want my money. then ill be like hey hey hey!!! and fuck the shit outta the hoes. Then be with them a few months till they realize I dont got money or wont give them SHIT... they leave me. I say bitch please and get another hoe to fuck because theyd think I got money. The way this works my friends is... genius. its a flawless fun of how bitches will be having their climax moment and be on top of the world thinking I got money and theyll inherit my millions when i wont even be worth more then 10 gs at a time. They had their fun THINKING they are rich and shit and I give them MOPNEEEEYYYYYYYy.. and ill be like next week baby im getting my paycheck. Then spend maybe $60 on them in a month. after 1 if you dont wanna spend anymore be like sorry im broke. and shell be like 'mama didnt no raise lady to be dating a broke man' and bounce. and ill get another bitch to use for sex... while shell want money.

then ill become an escort because ill be known to fuck bitches like this for fun and my reputation would be so fucking powerful and amazing, that i would be like GOD in bed. Tantra master and all that fucking for 6 months without cumming and having 3 hour orgasms. id be like master Sex Guru to fuck these bitches for maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad GSSSSS and make them cum for 20 hours and shit. but theyd pay me... THOUSANDS OF FUCKING DOLLARS FOR 1 NIGHT. Id say 5 gs just for the forplay. Then go from there. You want your titties licked and have my dick rub them with a supper Tantric move that will have cum come out of them juicy melons? another 5 gs biaaaaatch!? and a whole shabbang where im fucking you for 10 hours doggy style then switch posisions and fuck for a duration of 24 hours? bitches that 50 gs~!!!!!! i need to exercise for that shit hoe! I cant be doing that outta shape!

Then Id become famous. meditation, soul travel and then be some weird fuck with all the Indian and Bhuddist Gurus's on his walla and meditation daily. Then at some point ill be like fuck this life... And go meditate and be THE FUCK OUT!!! like peace... im out and had enough of this beautiful success of fucking bitches I wanna fuck, getting money and build new shit like computers, an apartment. you know just build my own life and shit. who knows how Ill build it but I never build anything outside of a fucking playign a vido game. So you know... Im scared. how you date and shit? How you do all this "normal" shit when you dont know any "Normal" people?

damn.. I think I done talking about some deep shit again. FUCK MY LIFE! I cant even do that shit on my own blog without talking deep. FUCK WEED! I only do it alone while playing WoW and not talking AT ALL!