The Black Student Union, and my White Ass in it...

today was a hell of a day, i had a few things happening. first that mixed girl in my class. we ended up being in groups and started talking and both of my partners all talking about fraternities and sororities and how its like, and then it shifted to student union clubs and i was like man.... "i joined a Black Student Union but i never go there cuz im white and its weird as hell, but im really interested", told them a story about me, and how some black students who saw me sign up probably think im a spy or something. then i said how i talked to some buddies about it and they were like "ohhhh maaan i feel you on that, you need somebody to go with you, that is just too out there". and that mixed girl was like... "im in the Black Student Union, ill come with you", i was like oh man oh man... i dont know, you gonna be embarrassing me.

she got my # and told me shell call me when the next event comes. i am sooooooooooo nervous, i was even talking to my shrink about it how id get high before i go to ease the stress and my social awkwardness because i almost never go to events. and he was like "its better you dont get high, because some people may ask you what you doing here? and they wont take you seriously when you tell them you really interested in the black community if they spot that you high." i was like shit man hes right, either way this is nerve wracking. i just wish i wasnt so damn nervous meeting people but i am, thats something ill have to deal with for the rest of my life.

man... im really really nervous about this but i dont think its that bad, this other black girl i know told me people of other races attend the BSU events. im just so damn insecured and it pisses me off cuz some people see me when looking in my eyes. ah whatever, ill have to wait and see what happens...