Headache 5

Fucking shit I go to a library to finally read my book so I can finish it and then BAM another cluster headache. It's going away now but it was painful as hell. I asked it to plz go away and use both hands to get it out of my head. Typing from my slow ass smart phone. Headache Ty for leaving my head!

Why am I so Lazy?

OMG. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY AM I SO LAZY???

SOMEONE PLZ ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHY????????

HOW NOT TO GET LAZY?

HOW TO FIND MOTIVATION?

WHERE TO FIND MOTIVATION?

WHERE TO FIND FRIENDS?

peoples different energies drive me nuts

judgemental people suck

i cant be around them

they make me feel unease

i dont know wtf im talking aabout now


all i wanna know is... WHY AM I SO LAZY????????????????????? WHY!?

HEADACHE 5

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK FYOUL FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I HATE THIS SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS HUUUUUUUUUUUUURTS YOU PIECE OF SHIT GOOOOOOOOOO AWAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:lkJRAWEFAWEIO[FJWEHF'QILWIL'AWEJFKLASJDFASDKL'FJASDJFKL;ASJSDFKJAFKL;SJSDJFAKL;SDK

I WANNA DIE RIGHT NOW

IT HURTS SO FUCKING BADF OMNGGGGGFSDLFKAJ;SDFLJASD;FJKLASDLKFJASDFSDMNKL;XC, /K, /

WOKE UP WITH ANOTHER SHIT ASS CLUSTER HEADACHE AT 4:40AM

IF THERE IS ANY TIME I WANT TO DIE ITS NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HURTS SO FUCKING BAD.

I AM SICK AND FICUKING TIRED OF PEOPLE AND ESPECIALLY STPUID BITCHES THINKING THEY BETTER THAN ME OR OTHERS. FUCK YOU YOU STUPID BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU!!!!!  GO FUCK YOURSELF!!!! FUCKING BITCH!!!!!!!!! WHY ARE SOME WOMEN SO FUCKINGS TUPID K UP? FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

URGH.. LIFE IS SOO PAINFUL... I AM FFRUSTRATED AND EXHAUSTED.....

I DONT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.

I WANT TO BLOW MY BRAINS OUT MY RIGHT NOW I HURTS SOOOOOO BAD........ ASD;LKFJDASKL;JA;KLDSFJAD;FLKSJA ;DFARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

This is why we are all here

isn't it crazy? ALL OF US. everyone that is reading this right now... THIS... is what we are all here for, or at least wish we found it before checking out. makes me wanna cry, and damn.. i am.. some of us don't find this for many lifetimes at a time

Headache 4

this was all my own fault.

i woke up and drank minimum water with breakfast. meditated, drank minimum water. then drank a few sips of minimum water. i started feeling the pain at 5:30 when leaving the house on the way to work. i knew it was gonna get worse but i didnt think it was going to be this bad.

FUCKING SHIT AT AROUND 6 WHEN I START WORKING I GET HEADACHE FROM HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. OMGGGGGG. at work i am all fucked up told my coworker to get the register for me while i am in the backroom laying on the floor all fucked up. it lasted a good 40 to 50 minutes. but even then it didnt stop. after a good 2 hours it started go down, but then id still feel it 10 to 30%. even now i feel the side effects at like 5-10%. fuck me... i will never not drink water again cuz it backfires really really badly. i drank so much water i been pissing nonstop for last 3 hours.

I got a burrito at Chipotle and could just eat half of it before work because headache was so bad plus i was gonna be late. so when i started working drinking Arizona drinks (bought 4) i felt nautious, and full. like i couldnt eat and finish my burrito.

Headache 3

for my records.

yesterday I had a few episodes of mild headaches that went up to 30 or even 40%. Then they went away, miraculously. I ate fully vegan Subway sandwitches (2). the day before I had 2 burritos.

I have a feeling that was the last headach for a while, but can never be too sure.

Headach 2

it is bei\gn\inning. it was mild, now its strtonge, and i feel its getting worse.


 AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH this huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurts fuck uufkcjf;kldajf;kasdjf;asdjkf;lasdjf;lasdjfl;asdjfkl;jasdl;fjasdklfjasdj

i feel like i got a pitch fork going in and out of my of my brain. fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

8:15pm

Headache 1 - 2013

Even though I already had quiet a few headaches this year, this is the biggest and most painful one I've had so far. Just woke up with the headache from the pits of hell. I think it's from lack of drinking and dehydration. other headaches were sinuses. this one is both, I think.

damn my life is painful, literally sometimes.

2:12am

Sadhus and Marijuana

So I am back from the club where I danced with my co-workers (yeah, I need to start getting out on my own without waiting for someone to invite me. I know), and watching this video on youtube about deities






This guy is a Sadhu, and appereantly, Sadhus use marijuana in their progress to spiritual englightenment. fascinating stuff that I wanted to share...

"A popular characteristic of Sadhu ritualism is their utilization of marijuana (known as charrus) as a form of a eucharist in line with their worship of Shiva who was believed to have an adoration or affinity for the leaves of the plant.^[4] The drug is used in excess during the celebration of Shivaratri."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sadhu

last video

I just wanna apologize for posting the last video. I sent the guy's channel to my friend and he and I were both laughing at how negative that whole channel is. I just found if fascinating how the dude reports all the cosmic events, including our sun, along with the weather here on earth... but anyway, I was so fascinated with it I completely forgot he is just another fear mongerer.

It is not over

was out partying on the NYE

my first time in YEAAAAAAAAAAARS partying on the new years. last time was about 5 years ago when I went to a club alone. this time I got invited by that co-worker who figured me out always talking about the 40 year old virgin. it was fun. we hit the club. it was DEAD when we got there. we the first ones. then went to eat, him and his friend were both high as fuck laughing constantly. i was like huh... cool. im just not finding shit funny cuz i didnt smoke and not planning on it. i was the driver.

there was one girl that was sooooooooooooo cute. omg... I was in love. I approached 2 and my friend's friend didnt sit next to the 2nd one when i introduced them. he sat behind me. ok.. so she comes and sits behind the last girl thats the furthest from me. then i walk around the club and stuff and i see she ended up sitting on this side. i sat down next to her but didnt say shit. then eventually when i was just chilling listening to the hip hop music played by the dj, they all came on the dance floor talking. i just came up to her and told her that i think she is really cute. she was like... "thank yoU!" and shook my hand, like i was the only guy who said that to her all night. but i was like yeah ok.. 'have a nice night' and walked away. kept thinking about her all night and in the morning when woke up. i dont regret for not talking to her. me and my fucking problems make me talking to women almost suicidal. i have never really gotten anywhere, but maybe its because my thought pattern, and that i never think it is possible to have anyhthing to come out of it. who knows.. for now ill just focus on getting myself my own place after getting on my feet.

almost didnt blog about this, but just wanted to do so for my records. going to sleep now. gotta work in the morning tomorrow. and maybe even at night for retail... peace and love everybody....

My 2013 New Years Resolutions

This is my new years resolutions in no particular order. I am keeping them in present tense like it is already happening NOW! Because nothing else exist outside of NOW. There is no past, and there is no future. there is only NOW!!!!!!!!!! never forget that. the time is NOW!


1) I am getting out more
2) I am meeting a LOT more people
3) I am having fun
4) I am meeting friends along the way
5) I invite these friends into my reality that I create in which I go out to different events, and meet different many people
6) I invite strangers along the way
7) I link these strangers with each other
8) I take control of my destiny
9) I get better at Astral Projection
10) I practice to get better at things like females, Astral Projection, etc..
11) I see the results as a result of my persistency (NO MORE LAZINESS)
12) I learn more about myself
13) I meditate regularly on the DAILY basis (once a day, at least)
14) I get my own place
15) I get my career
16) My is part of my passion, or at least it gets me started on to fulfilling my passion
17) I live life fully the way I always wanted to live it without worrying about what people think or do to get in my way
18) I interlink with like minded people and make friends who are on the same vibration with me
19) I am getting organized
20) I get a planner
21) I follow my own rules
22) I follow patterns that I lay out for myself to accomplish goals
23) I get plenty of rest
24) I get perfect amount of sleep
25) I got a schedule
26) I follow my schedule
27) I look for other opportunities outside of my current employment
28) I spread peace and love everywhere I go
29) I help those that are in need in any way I can
30) I face my fears of Astral Projection
31) I face my fears in my daily life
32) I keep track of my progress
33) I am having healthy sex life
34) I am having healthy relationships
35) I am in control of my relationships
36) I am in control and in charge of my emotions
37) I work in perfect harmony with the Universe
38) I accomplish my mission for why I came here for
39) I stay true to myself, as well as others
40) I always stand for truth, honor, discipline, and light