I have a Date on Saturday

as UNBELIEVABLE as that sounds, yes, i have a date saturday. it's with this girl from my internship and the funniest thing is that she's from Russia. it's funny because i used to HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE Russians. omfg i hated them so bad that i wouldn't even tell anyone im from where im from because i didnt want anyone to know i grew up on that culture. but i learned to accept my past and the people who hurt me back then so i'm not a racist anymore. i'm actually more interested in the that culture now because it will always be part of me.

But anyway, i don't expect shit and don't even know if this will go through because 95% of the time i had to call a girl or make plans with her she never picked up, and nothing ever came out of it. women are confusing as fuck and i dont care so i'm completely nonchalant about this date. i was really nervous asking her though but i hoped shed say no so i could stay home and play WoW instead of dragging my lazy ass out the house. we'll see what happens.

Today is a good day

It's 3:00 pm and i got just got home. Unbelievable! This is the time i usually leave. Wake up around 11 or 12 (sometimes even 1), fuck around on computer and stretch my meditation session from 20 mins to 1 hours until my lazy ass decides to sit down and start, and leave to go work on my paper on campus.

I had an appointment today so i had to wake up at 8am. And I'm really really really gonna try hard to change my sleeping habit because it's fucking me up in every aspect of my life. I get headaches, no sleep, no real solid schedule, and always lack sleep unless i decide to sleep in which is why i always do. The reason why I stay up is because i don't want my life to be a routine. It's like im a robot and i wake up at 6 am and go to bed at 10pm every day. I hate that so that's why i'd end up going to bed at 3, 4, 5 am!!! But I got to have a routine! Especially now that I'm 1 month away from graduating, and get a real full-time job. If i don't have a routine I'm fucked when I enter the job market! Plus I feel so good about my day when it's 3pm and I've done everything on the list opposed to just starting it.

And I can really see meditation helping me with as day dreamy and lost my brain is at times. All the humans have the same shit happening in the brain. The brain can't sit still and meditation is the practice for quieting it down and also ease the pain of life. It takes a lot of discipline but hey i'm all for it. Missed my session this morning though cuz i woke up late, but i'll do it after i eat. Gotta go, the water is boiling and nobody is home! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Headache from hell #3, pts 2 & 3

woke up again at 7am and had a severe headache until 7:40. went to sleep>woke up again with another one at 8:41 until about 9:20 or so. this one was mediocre. omfg i hate my life. it is sooooooooooo painful. im gonna try to create a regular sleep pattern from 12 to 8 am ill be sleeping every night. if no headaches after that then it must be the staying up part and never having a regular schedule.

damn i woke up at 3:30pm and it's like... shit. now what im gonna do. im dirty because i havent showered and i dont wanna do anything i planned because i woke up late as hell. i already ate, gonna go brush my teeth, meditate then take a shower. and i still gotta put in a few hours into my research paper later on today.

Headache from hell #3: closet homos stalking me

here we go again. 4:49am i get woken up with a headache. drank som ewater ate some bread but the shit is still here. and its 5:23 am now. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! maybe i didnt drink enough water but i ate a shit load of stuff. i dont know what i did wrong this time. or maybe i went to bed too late at 3 am. or maybe its this san francisco weather all cold and misearble. eghhh i hate this city. speaking of san francisco i think we got a closet homo browsing my shit. he threatened to kill me earlier. could be yo yo ma o rwhoever has a habit of spelling the word "faggit". dont be mad at me that you like men dude. maybe some day youll learn to accept your sexuality and be brave enough to admit who you are to yourself before you do it to the rest of the world. closet gays are sad sad individuals. some of them are so deeply in the closet that they themselves dont think theyre gay and have an illusion that they're actually straight. and they interpret everything as gay btw which is funny as fuck!

i had a friend before who was playing like he likes women and shit. telling me how much he loves pussy and yata yata yata. "my type" or whatever else hed say looking at chicks. i was like wtf why is he trying so hard? FUCKING HEADACHE STILL THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHH I HATE YOU YOU PIECEO FSHIT. I HOPE YOU DIE OR I CEASE TO EXIST CUZ IM SICK OF YOU. anyway, when a guy is acting like hes a 100% hetero chances are he's gay, and in the closet. i never even realized how many gay people there are until me and that black guy who is completely honest and open with his sexuality became friends. omfg there is at least 30% of all the people you see are gay. AT LEAST! shit is scary. you think it's a small community you dead wrong. it's mostly underground and it's a subculture, but it's there. he showed me this black documentary called "Paris is Burning" that shit tripped me out. Harlem, New York City 1987, so many homosexuals omfggggggggggg. all that gangsta talk them fags yap about on sohh and how gays get bodied in the hood or whatever went out the fucking window after i seen that. i think every black person in america should see that movie and i think they got it all on youtube in small parts.

anyway, the headache is going down and its 5:42am and i'm out. ahhhh shit looks like ill be sleeping in again and my sleep pattern is fucked up... again. 5:48am now still a lil headache but its mostly gone. fuck... wow, that's exactly an hour of headache. but at least it wasn't as severe as the last one!

another Headache from HELL!`

5am now started 4:30 and its like my head is about to explode. its mainly on my left side above my eye level. for the longest i thought something is wrong with my eyes. couldnt sleep till 4:30 then i got hungry. no food=headache. no sleep=heachdache. no drink=headache. im so fucked up i dont even know why universe created me. FUCK AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IM NOT EVEN LOOKING AT THE KEYBOARD RIGHT NOW AS IM TYPING. usin my fucking 80wpm skills and shit.

i feel like shit. i made a female friend at my work and i dont know why she likes me. she knows i got no confidence and im a lonely ass dude. shes outgoing and shit. shit this headache sux!!!!!!!! it sux!!! i feel liike im on drugs. its like i told myself not to type up personal shit on this blog cuz ii got tired of crying like a bitch and complaining about the same shit. but with this headache i got so much pain i just type this shit out here. usually what you do on drugs. start talking about shit you wouldnt norally say or be all chatty like you social when you really not. alcohol is a social drug too. ahhh i dont know wtf im saying

headache still there. feels like its going away but thats what i been telling myself ro the last 35 fucking minutes. damn i type 95% without looking i cant even open my eyes this shit hurts so bad. ahhhhhhh shit shit shittttttttttttt.

i saw this asian thick as a motha fucka woman today. first impression i thought she was a hooker but i was like whoa shes hot as fuck and then it may have been a tranny cuz she looked way too good so i dont know wtf it was but she was hot and thick as shitttt.

i think pain is going away. i dont know but i can look a lil more and yeah i think going away. i can open my eyes now. damn i wonder if i will ever meet somebody who can help me and shit. with life i mean. is no one really coming? am i fucked all on my own and my disfuctional family? with my mom giving me life tips like "be normal" and shit. i mean wtf type of shit is that?

i dont know wtf im talking about but damn the pain is going away!! finally.. shit. its been 40 fucking minutes and i got a mock interview tomorrow. i need some sleep and meditate before i leave cuz i missed a few sessions within like 2 weeks and its pissing me off that i waste so much time when i wake up looking at bullshit websites not doing nothing.

ok, now im crying from my left eye. i dont know maybe its the headache, my emotions, or both. im gonna try to get some sleep now. i need to fall alseep tomorrow early too because i got a saturday training thats my last one part of my internship.

This is exactly how I feel right now

cant sleep

its been over 2 hours and the pain just wont leave me. my energy is so drained i feel useless..

2 hours of pain

it's starting to calm down but it still sux humungus nutsack from another galaxy.''

i dont understand how my body is so healthy yet i get headaches and seems like i got a bad liver. ahhhh... at times like these i wish i wouldnt exist.

Drank Wine.. HEADACHE

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS SUXXXXXXXXXX

i drank 1 cup of wine and had a lil headache. then i drank just 1/4th more and BAM the greatest headache in the world!!!!!!!!!!

FUCKKKK FUCK RFUFDK FDUDKAFJ;DLKJFA;SDLKFJASD;KLJFDAS;KLJF;AKLSHDGUIOP T4[89UO4J

I HATE LIFE SO MUCH RIGHT NOW

then i google this and it came up

http://www.doctorslounge.com/neurology/forums/backup/topic-6387.html

FUCK ALCOHOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i had a acupuncture doc tell me i got liver problems before.

when my pops was fucking my mother he couldnt get her pregnant for 2 years. the universe was ttelling the fucking cunt YOU WERENT MEANT TO PROCREATE but he didnt listen. so he kept going to the doctor and one day he got her pregnent, then i came out. then I GOTTA DEAL WITH ALL THIS BULLSHIT THAT HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW ABOUT!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!! YOU FUCKING SELFISH SON OF A BITCH! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH PAIN I GO THROUGH IN LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU FUCKING SLUT!!!!!!!!!!!! I WENT TO TELL YOU HOW SHITTY OF A FATHER YOU WERE AND YOU DIDNT EVEN GET IT! AND AFTERWARDS WHEN ME AND MY COUSIN WERE STANDING OUTSIDE TALKING YOU WERE TRYING TO JOKE AND SHIT LIKE ITS ALL GRAVY. BITCH I JUST TOLD YOU YOU SUCK BALLS AS A DAD AND NOW YOU JOKING LIKE NOTHING HAPPENEEED. FUCKING IDIOT. CANT WAIT FOR LIFE TO BE OVER CUZ THIS SHIT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD I CANT BELIEVE IM BEING PUT THROUGH SO MUCH FUCKING PAIN. I MUST'VE DID SOME FUCKED UP SHIT IN MY PREVIOUS LIFE CUZ I SWEAR I GO THROUGH NOTHING BUT PAIN, PHYSICAL, EMOTIANLS, WHATEVER.

FUCK LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amazing Electric Violin

This is talent..

Hip Hop started in Scotland

well, what do you know...


Rap music originated in medieval Scottish pubs, claims American professor
Rap music originated in the medieval taverns of Scotland rather than the mean streets of the Bronx and Brooklyn, an American academic has claimed.


By Simon Johnson
Last Updated: 3:57PM GMT 28 Dec 2008

Professor Ferenc Szasz argued that so-called rap battles, where two or more performers trade elaborate insults, derive from the ancient Caledonian art of "flyting".

According to the theory, Scottish slave owners took the tradition with them to the United States, where it was adopted and developed by slaves, emerging many years later as rap.

Professor Szasz is convinced there is a clear link between this tradition for settling scores in Scotland and rap battles, which were famously portrayed in Eminem's 2002 movie 8 Mile.

He said: "The Scots have a lengthy tradition of flyting - intense verbal jousting, often laced with vulgarity, that is similar to the dozens that one finds among contemporary inner-city African-American youth.

"Both cultures accord high marks to satire. The skilled use of satire takes this verbal jousting to its ultimate level - one step short of a fist fight."

The academic, who specialises in American and Scottish culture at the University of New Mexico, made the link in a new study examining the historical context of Robert Burn's work.

The most famous surviving example of flyting comes from a 16th-century piece in which two rival poets hurl increasingly obscene rhyming insults at one another before the Court of King James IV.

Titled the Flyting Of Dunbar And Kennedy, it has been described by academics as "just over 500 lines of filth".

Professor Szasz cites an American civil war poem, printed in the New York Vanity Fair magazine on November 9, 1861, as the first recorded example of the battles being used in the United States.

Professor Willie Ruff, of Yale University, agreed that Scottish slave owners had a profound impact on the development of African American music traditions.

Comparing flyting and rap battles, he said: "Two people engage in ritual verbal duelling and the winner has the last word in the argument, with the loser falling conspicuously silent."

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/music/3998862/Rap-music-originated-in-medieval-Scottish-pubs-claims-American-professor.html

Eye vision

man i had this trippy ass eye vision earlier today. i think it was from lack of eating. i usually got headaches but this time was sort of a weird watery line coloration. it was moving around like in a line. i could barely see as a result. it really freaked me out i was like omfg what is happening with me!?

the good news though is 3.1 patch seems to fix Priests up so i'm gonna be a bad ass once im 80. here is my fine ass doing Ramparts. will post more pics later on...

Global Deejays

Zelenoglazoe Taxi (Extended Mix)




Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie



will edit if i find some more good stuff

Hip Hop Flight Attendant

hell yeah!